A Beautiful Disaster
by MamaMel415
Summary: Bella & Edward are best friends w/ benefits, that's supposed to be the easy way rite? The fact that they are CRAZY in love, possessive and stubborn makes things extremely difficult. Full summary inside. Very OOC, ALL HUMAN. M Rated for a reason.
1. Fuck My Life

**SUMMARY **

Bella and Edward are best friends with benefit's, that's supposed to be the easy way right? But the fact that they are literally CRAZY in love, possessive and stubborn makes things extremely difficult; for both them, and everyone around them. A very OOC Edward and Bella. ALL HUMAN STORY.

Strictly M RATED for tons of bad language, gestures, lemons, mild violence and some drug and alcohol references.

**A/N**

**PLEASE READ**

This is my first story; I'm not in any way a writer. This is my first attempt at even trying to write something. I have been inspired by reading so many great stories on Fanfiction. This story line wouldn't get out of my head, so I just had to do this; for my sanity or what's left of it. So I'm taking this chance and putting it up.

Please take my WARNING very seriously. I'm very shitty with grammar, punctuation and spelling. I also have ADD and DYSLEXIA. So if you're going to read this story, please bear with me. I'm going to do my best. This story is going to be filled with love, passion, some angst, funny shit (I hope), a shit load of cursing (because I have a very bad potty mouth), lemons (cause I'm a freak), and mild violence. I'm going to try to keep the chapters long as possible and the author's notes as short as possible-after this one. I will try to stay consistent with updating 1-2 times a week as long as I'm getting good feedback, and if you're enjoying my fucked up mind come to life. This story is not meant to offend anybody at all so PLEASE don't take offense to any of the shit I say sometimes-I'm a retard. After you read my first chapter, please let me know if I should continue or if I'm just wasting my time. Please read on and I hope you enjoy. Sorry for the extremely long A/N, I know most people hate, them so do I. It won't happen again. THANX, MamaMel.

**This chapter and the second chapter have been fixed by my wonderful new BETA Melonscraps. Thank you so much! Your a miracle worker... I like it so much better now that it's free from all the error's and I'm sure all the readers will as well. **

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 1: Fuck My Life

Have you ever heard the phrase "Fuck My Life"? Well that pretty much sums it up for me. Where do I start? The beginning would be good. I guess all this shit could be considered my own damn fault, and probably easily avoided. Believe me, I hate taking the blame for anything, but I really did bring all this upon myself. It all started my junior year in high school, when I couldn't take living with mommy dearest anymore. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that bad; I didn't have problems with wire hangers or anything extreme like that. I just had to deal with a shit load of PDA from the newlyweds and being ignored as if I wasn't there. Maybe I'm being a little jealous, considering I've always had my mom to myself-well almost.

It's not like Renee ever gave me her undivided attention. She was always doing something or someone. Let's face it, most of the time I was on the back burner and forced to be the adult of the situation. So when she met Phil, I thought it was just another one of her flings-I guess I was wrong. Considering he is a good ten years younger than her, I thought she finally fucking lost it. It didn't really matter, since that's what her nut-job ass apparently wanted, because she married him.

Not wanting anything to do with watching my mom rob the cradle in our home right in front of me, I decided to go live with my dad, Charlie. I didn't really know him, we were never what you would call close, but I knew I wouldn't have to come home from school and walk in on some serious R-rated humping on the couch. Of course newlyweds are going to fuck, but shit, you have a bedroom. I sit on that couch from time to time and it was just disgusting. I had to get out of there like I needed air to live.

My decision left me in Forks Washington, and let me just say that fucking place is such a waste of space-boring as shit! That is until my first day of school when I met him, the beautiful asshole. That was the moment my whole fucking life changed to the monstrosity it is now. I can sit here and wonder where the fuck it went wrong, but deep down I know it's my fucking fault. What the hell was I thinking when I mentioned things like taking my virginity and friends with benefits to my best friend; the asshole that completed me, my other half, the only man I will ever truly love? He is the cocky son of a bitch Edward fucking Cullen.

So I guess that leads me to my present predicament. I am in the jerk's bed with a serious, post-coital, shit eating grin on my face, thinking about all this bullshit and trying to figure out how everything got so out of control with us. All the while, "Assward" is snoring away next to me. That shit is so fucking annoying. I can't concentrate and I really feel like kicking him in the shins and telling him to shut the fuck up; before I resort to more extreme measures such as, suffocating his ass with my pillow. Let's face it though; I love the retard too much to do that.

So that leaves me with my first option. Just as I'm winding my foot back to kick the shit out of him, the snoring stops and all I see is bright green-the color of his fucktastic eyes. My only thought is, 'shit I'm caught', but I realize I was thinking out loud again. Fuck me; I really got to stop doing that. That is when this beautiful angel-demon finally decides to open his mouth and speak.

"Bella, I swear to fucking god, if you fucking kick me in the shins again, I will bend you over so quickly and fuck you in your ass so hard; I promise I will be the only one getting any pleasure out of it".

Fuck it, I'm caught. He had me there; I'm not taking any chances. The asshole knows about my asshole-sex phobia; it terrifies the shit out of me. That is an exit hole, not an entrance, and I plan to keep it that way.

"Well if you wouldn't snore so fucking loud, I wouldn't have to kick your sorry ass", I say.

"Shut the fuck up. I may snore, but you run your mouth like a crack whore on the hustle trying to get her next fix while you sleep. Do you hear me complain about it or abuse you for something you have no control over?"

Are you shitting me? This asshole always does this shit-he turns it around on me. And 'crack whore'? Fuck him. I'm going to make him regret that shit. As I ponder what revenge tactic I'm going to deploy on his ass, I can tell my silence is making him nervous; he knows something's up. Shit, I have to think fast; it's between an ultimate titty-twister and extreme blue balls. I have to be really smooth if it's going to work.

"Edward you're a fucking dick, and please shut the fuck up. The only reason you don't complain is because you're fucking weird and like to listen to that shit" I come back, hoping it throws him off somewhat.

"Actually, what I like is when you say my name-that shit is hot" he shoots back.

"Oh God, who are you, fucking Paris Hilton now? Hot? Really, you couldn't come up with something better than that? Edward when did you become such a fucking pussy?"

Yep, I got this asshole right where I want him; questioning his manhood always works. For my plan to work he has to be the one to start our fucking session. If I do he will know something's up. If I plan to pull of the most epic, extreme, ultimate blue ball and titty-twister, combo I really need stay on my game. I couldn't decide on just one, so I'm doing a combo of both; he's going to be so pissed. God, I already know I'm going to regret this; he's not going to let this one slide. Payback is going to be a bitch for this one, but fuck it I'll deal, it will be worth it.

"Fuck you, stop being such a bitch. I'm anything but a pussy; you're the one with the pussy. I got the big dick that makes you scream when I'm deep inside said pussy. But since your experiencing severe memory loss, it seems to be my duty to remind your ass who has the pussy in this relationship" he counters to my insult about his man parts.

I'm so good at this, all it took was one insult, and now he is at my mercy. Hold on, what the fuck did he mean about 'relationship'? The last time I checked, we were best friends that like to fuck. I guess I'm going to have to address that shit first before I continue on with my evil plan.

"Firstly, I am a bitch and you are an asshole, but you already knew that. I am proud of the fact that I am a bitch, so way to state the obvious, genius. Secondly, you are a pussy and your magic stick isn't that great, I have had better". Total lie, but fuck it, he doesn't know that-nor does he need to. The asshole is cocky enough as it is. "And there is nothing wrong with my fucking memory, thank you very much. You can make me scream, yes, and I admit you're good at what you do or I wouldn't be doing it with you. All I'm saying is I have had better, so get your head out of your god damn ass!" Lie, lie, lie; dirty fucking lie! "And what the fuck do you mean by relationship? All we have is a dysfunctional best friendship, which has us constantly going around in circles, getting us nowhere but into fights." I say as I finish my rant that almost leaves me breathless.

I'm not expecting it when he scoots over and wraps his perfect arms around my naked body, kissing my forehead gently and lovingly. Then in a really sexy, sinister voice that instantly makes me wet, he whispers in my ear, "Isabella Marie fucking Swan, you are a horrible fucking liar. You know I'm the best you've ever had or will ever have. I was your first and most likely going to be your last. And as for you being with anyone else, fuck that shit! You. Are. Mine. Do you hear me, damn it!?"

By then I was beyond words, thoughts or anything coherent. The lust and arousal coming from my body was making itself known, and I could feel his arousal almost impaling my stomach.

As I start to get my bearings back, I repeat his mini speech in my head, and I'm suddenly furious. Who the fuck does he think he is? He can't tell me shit-I could do whatever I want or whoever I want. I am not his, nor is he mine. I know he has that bitch Tanya suck him off every once in a while. It fucking makes me sick. I hate that bitch and all his other fucking whores. I swear, he has some fucking nerve! Just as I was coming out of my mental rant and ready to tear him a new asshole, I was interrupted by his hand moving swiftly down to my still very heated center with his lips still at my ear. I didn't have time to react before his hand made it to its intended destination.

He quickly thrust two fingers inside of me, while his hand was cupping my mound. And again in the same voice as before, he whispered, "I know you fucking heard me Bella, fucking answer me! This pussy, right here, "he said while thrusting those glorious fingers deep inside of me.

He made me forget my plan, or why I was even mad in the first place. I couldn't help it; I let out a loud moan, which only spurred him on more.

"This pussy is mine. See how wet you are for me? Nobody else will ever make you feel the way I do. Your body was made for me and don't ever forget that shit. Tell me Bella; tell me right now, 'your mine' and nobody else can have my pussy! Fucking say it now!"

That's when reality smacked me in my fucking face. So what if I was just seconds away from having an Edward induced come session? What the fuck is he talking about? He never said any shit like that to me before; I'm so fucking confused. I know our arrangement isn't the best for us mentally, but fuck, I really want to know what brought all this on. So when I look up and he's staring at me, waiting for a response, I realize his fingers are still working their magic on me. Huh, well that's a first; I guess I went numb after his possessive outburst. Without even thinking, my hand works fast on its own accord, successfully ripping his glorious fingers out of my vagina.

The next thing I know, I'm sitting straight up glaring at him. My mouth starts spitting serious verbal vomit before I allow it, "What the fuck are you talking about, you fucking prick! I'm not yours; I'm your best friend, nothing more! You can go fuck yourself with all that 'mine' shit. I can go fuck any Tom, Dick or Harry I want to, motherfucker! God only knows what the fuck your roster looks like; you don't hear me bitching about it. I know about your whores, I'm not stupid or blind, Cullen. I know about all the bitches you fuck and let suck your little, tiny fucking dick!"

Then it happens, before I knew it, my hand is reaching up without any permission from my stupid brain, and I slap the living shit out of him; yeah that's going to leave a mark. The prick has the audacity to sit up with me and laugh in my fucking face, big mistake mother fucker! Again, without the permission from my stupid fucking brain, my arm cocks back and I deck that cocky ass prick right in his fucking smug ass nose. For the second time in the last couple of minutes, reality hits me, when blood starts dripping from his asshole ass nose. I instantly feel remorseful for my actions, but more than that, I feel a little dizzy. I fucking hate blood; the smell of rust and salt makes me want to fucking yarf right here on his fucking bed. He's a fucking doctor, why the fuck is he just sitting there staring at me with that smug ass smirk? Why is he still silent, not saying a fucking word, when he knows blood makes me sick? Oh yeah, like I could forget; the abuse happens to be our very sick form of foreplay since apparently we're both deranged. I should have known better, that he was purposely trying to piss me off just for his sick sex needs.

Finally my idiot brain catches up with the situation staring me in the face, while blood pours down it. Did I mention I'm really fucking dizzy now and much closer to yarfing? I finally speak and break this crazy silence, but what happens is more verbal vomit. "Fuck this shit, we're both fucking nuts, sorry but I have to go. I can't do this shit with you right now!"

As I start to quickly back away to get off his damn bed, I find my clothes, and try to get the fuck out of there, when his hands quickly grab my wrists and pull me back down straddling me. I suddenly know I'm not going anywhere; but honestly, did I really think I would be leaving?

After god knows how long of a silence, shithead finally decides to speak. He leans his bloody face down to my ear making me even more nauseous, and wanting nothing more that to expel our dinner all over him and his overly comfortable shitty bed. He's lucky I'm stronger than that though, and since that would be a bitch to clean, I won't be helping. I don't care if I was the one who hit him. He's the one who pissed me off for fucks sake.

"Bella did you really think I was going to let you leave? Come on, you know me better than that. You are the only one that knows everything about me, and I you. So cut the bullshit and save it for another day. I know for a fact that you get off on me calling you 'mine', because you are! And we both know that my dick isn't anything close to tiny. So get ready love, cause I'm about to fuck the shit out of you, with this big dick just the way you like it."

And with that, he forcefully spread my legs with his knees and threw my legs over his shoulders. I fisted his beautiful mess of hair; kissing, licking and biting as much of his flesh that I could get my mouth on, as he pounded into me like our lives depended on it. At the same moment, every thought slipped from my mind. I needed this; I needed him, all of him, and at that moment I had it.


	2. Ultimate Titty Twister

**A/N**

I'm on a roll right now; I have already started working on chapter 3. Hopefully, I will have it up tomorrow night. If you are reading my story please review. I really want to know how I'm doing here and I'm working really hard putting my all into this story, so please help me out here. This chapter starts where the last left off. Again I'm sorry for any errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar this is my first attempt at writing anything. This chapter is a little shorter than the last but this is the way I wanted it to end. I hope you enjoy it... THANX, MamaMel.

**Again huge thanks to my BETA Melonscraps for fixing this chapter you're the SHIT!!! And you got this done extremely fast... I really couldn't have asked for anyone better. **

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 2: Ultimate Titty-Twister

A good forty five minutes later were still going at it; yep he's a multiple nut buster but so am I, so fuck it. I still can't for the life of me, use my brain to remember why I should be stopping this most recent fuck session. When it finally hits me; I now remember my evil plan I made when he started cracking jokes about my sleep talking. I'll show him to never say 'crack whore' while he's talking about me! Before I put operation fuck Edward into full effect, I'm going to make sure I get to come one more time, since I don't know how long it's going to be before I get some again after I do this.

After coming back to our current situation, I let all my thoughts go and allowed myself to just feel. What I feel is amazing. I'm suddenly aware Edward has been saying something, or more like repeating something to me. I try to focus on what that is, but between feeling like I'm going to burst and all of my mental musings about the planning, I can't. So I push all that aside and focus.

All I hear is, "Tell me, tell me Bella, tell me right now; fucking say it. I swear if you don't say it right now, you will never get this dick again."

I almost laughed at that, as if we could deny each other anything, we're fucking addicted. He's completely breaking my concentration at this point, but I really have no fucking idea what the hell he's going on about now. I wasn't paying attention, and since I really want to set my plan into action, I ask, "Edward what the fuck are you talking about now? What the fuck do you want me to tell you? I was just about to come fuck-face and you just fucked up my concentration."

Once the last words left my mouth, he started kissing, licking and sucking a trail down my neck to my breast, taking my very erect nipple in between his lips sucking on it; like it's going to be the last titty his mouth ever touches. Fuck what I said, I'm right back on track again; he always knows just what I need. Then he replaced his mouth with his hand working my nipple and kneading my fun bag, while he's still thrusting the shit out of my dripping wet, happy place with his very hard cock. He made his way back up my neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses along the way. When were face to face again, staring into each other's eyes, I melt in the green paradise. Very slowly, without breaking eye contact, he presses his soft full lips to mine; they fit perfectly together. He leaves a gentle kiss there while sucking on my lower lip. Shit, he tastes so fucking good.

In a low sexy voice he says, "I want you to tell me that your mine. I need you to be mine, please stop fucking with me Bella, I can't take it."

Jesus Christ, didn't we just go through this shit less than an hour ago for fuck's sake? Who am I kidding; I would give that man anything he wants. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I have always been his and he has always been mine. I guess this is just our fucked up way of showing it to each other. We should be together. I can feel it in every fiber of my being that we were meant to be; we need each other so much, it hurts when we're apart. We're just both too scared to fuck up our friendship with a relationship; neither of us can live without the other. When I can't think anymore and my stomach is in knots, and my body is about to explode, I give into him.

"Yesss Edward, I'm fucking yours; I always have been and I always will be."

Suddenly, he picks up the pace at my words. I know it's only a matter of seconds before I'm overcome with bliss.

"That's right Bells, all of this is mine," he says as his hand drops down in between us, and starts to rub the shit out of my clit.

That's all it takes and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, while exploding all over him. As I'm coming down from what can only be known as one of the best orgasms of my life, I'm aware I should be doing something right now. I can't quite think, because my vagina is tingly as fuck since Edward is still fucking me into oblivion; he is messing up my train of thought. Oh yeah, it's time for operation fuck Edward. I have to act fast as I can feel his dick start to twitch inside me, so I know he's close.

I look up to see his eyes closed, eyebrows knit together and his soft full lips parted. Yep, he's about to burst; I know his come face like the back of my hand. With no time left I act quickly. I bring my fingers up to his nipples and latch on. I notice this is arousing Edward even more, since his cock seems to get even harder inside of me. Alright here it goes. When I have good grip on those little mother fuckers, I yank, twist and pull as hard as I can. Let's just say things didn't quite happen like I planned them to.

Everything went so fast after I dominated his nipples in that very extreme titty-twister. I barely registered how it all went wrong, because everything happened so fast. Three things happened all at once.

First, he jumped off me so fast, you would have thought he just found out he was fucking his mother or something. He was clutching at his red and raw nipples with a look of sheer pain and horror on face.

Second, I really fucked up with my timing, because when he shot off the bed like it was on fire, his come rocket lined up directly with my eye. What do you know, my dumb ass cut it way too close, because when I came face, or more like, eye to head with that little monster, it released its come bullet right into my very wide open eye-I didn't even have enough time to close it. Let me tell you, jizz in the eye is no good. I wouldn't be surprised if I was blind in one eye after this; that shit burns like holy water on the devil.

The last part of this trifuckta, is me launching myself off the bed as well. I Scrambled around, trying my best with my one good eye, to get all of this damn jizz off; it is now dripping down my face and making an appearance way too close to my top lip for my liking. While all of this is going on I'm screaming over and over, "It burns…it fucking burns!!!!

Edward is cursing me out so bad that it would make a sailor blush. "What the fuck were you thinking Bella? God you can be such a fucking twat-waffle fucking cunt-berry!!! See! That's what you get, you stupid bitch. I hope you are blind."

Fuck, did I really say that shit out loud? I really have to stop doing that. Edward continued with his angry rant.

"Do you see this shit? My fucking nipples are bleeding!!! I swear, sometimes I just fucking hate you when you do stupid shit like this. I'm so going to fuck you in your ass now. Just wait; be scared, very fucking scared. Payback is going to be a bitch. If you weren't a girl, I swear I would molly whop the shit out of your ass right now."

To say he is livid is a serious fucking understatement. Maybe I went a little too far this time. Oh well, fuck it. It's too late now, I'm a big girl I can handle the consequences. I already knew this was going to be coming, but if he thinks he's getting anywhere near my asshole then he's truly lost his fucking mind. I will fucking murder his bitch ass before he even gets close, so he can kiss my pale white ass if he thinks that's ever going to happen.

While he's still chewing my asshole out, I'm still trying to find something to get all this jizz off, which is still burning the fuck out of my eye-if I even have an eye left after this. I finally come across some kind of fabric, it will have to make do; I can't tell what it is though. My good eye is a bit blurry from not blinking, so I can't see what the fuck I'm doing; it's not really helping me any. So I use this article of clothing for some damage control on my contaminated eye.

While I'm furiously wiping the jizz out of my eye with determination, I inhale a breath through my nose and I'm immediately stunned by a really foul odor. I instantly feel sick, but this time the nausea makes me gag. I strain my good eye to see what this disgusting smell is, only to realize that I was wiping the jizz off my face with a pair of Edwards's dirty boxers! Fuck my life!!! At this point, I'm still gagging and I know I can't hold it this time. There's no hope for me, I'm going to fucking vomit.

My legs go on auto pilot, running into Edwards's bathroom that's connected to his bedroom. I praise the heavens I didn't trip along the way; it's a miracle seeing as I'm clumsy as fuck and only have about 30 percent of my vision working for me right now. My balance is really off from covering my mouth while running, trying to hold off the inevitable for as long as possible. Finding the toilet was a little harder task because my operable eye is now watering from the fact I'm about to blow chunks. I nearly miss, but thankfully, I make it.

As my body is expelling all its contents, I notice Edward is no longer cursing up a storm, but rather laughing hysterically at me. That asstard sounds like a fucking hyena while snorting. The sound gets closer and closer and I notice he's standing in the doorway watching me, with his slightly bloody nipples and in all his naked glory. I'm dry heaving when are eyes connect.

He must have seen something in my watery eye that's still working, because he quickly comes to kneel next to me, pulls my hair back and starts to rub soothing circles on my back. I feel so much better with him next to me, feeling the calming shock of electricity we both feel whenever our skin touches the other. Maybe I'm forgiven already, but only time will tell.

All I know right now is that with him next to me, I'm complete. It doesn't matter that I'm puking or that I have some of his man fluid still in my eye-which is still burning, or the fact that Edward has bloody nipples while were both naked on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. Were together and that's the only thing that matters right now.


	3. Sperm For Brains

**A/N**

Thank you to the people who are reading my story and supporting me by reviewing. I love my readers, though I don't have that many of them right now, but I would love to hear from any new ones too. My longest chapter yet (I think) or it feels like it anyway. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I hope you enjoy it. Special thanks to my BETA melonscraps who has done two of my chapters in less than 24 hours. Like I said, she's the best! THANX MamaMel.

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 3: Sperm for Brains

After another good five minutes and there is nothing left in my sore tummy to come up, my dry heaving has finally stopped. Edward is still on the floor with me rubbing my back. I feel sweaty and gross from all the sex we had tonight, not to mention throwing up.

We're so close that sometimes it feels like our thoughts are connected, because while I'm thinking about how nasty I feel, Edward is planting soft kisses on my back and rubbing it.

He asks me, "Are you feeling better now Bella? Do you want to take a warm shower or bath, love?" I take a second to think about his question, and I lay my head on his shoulder before I answer.

"Yeah, I feel a lot better now. I do feel fucking disgusting from our multiple fuck sessions tonight, and now the yarfing. I think I will take a shower first to get all the nasty shit off, and then a hot bath with the jets on sounds really fucking good. It would be even better if you would join me though, will you?"

He answers me immediately. "Honestly Bells, do you think I would have it any other way? Come on, let's get off this cold ass floor; my nuts have shriveled up so much on this ice cold tile that I think raisins are bigger at this point."

Maybe I'm fucking delirious after the night we had, but that makes me break down laughing hysterically, like he was just minutes ago. I'm laughing so hard now that I'm about to piss myself, and that would be really fucking retarded seeing as I'm on the bathroom floor right next to the toilet.

I guess what they say is true; laughter really is contagious, because now Edward is laughing hysterically right along with me. I'm not sure he even knows what I'm laughing about; fuck, I'm not even sure I know what I'm laughing about.

"Edward, I swear I'm about to fucking piss myself if we got to stop laughing."

Fuck me seven ways from Sunday, all my little confession does is makes us laugh a whole hell of a lot harder. I'm not sure how it happened, but now I'm lying on the cold ass bathroom floor with my hands cupping my naked crotch with my legs crossed. I am praying to God that my bladder behaves and that I don't piss all over myself and the bathroom floor; that would be really fucking embarrassing.

Edward would never let me live that shit down for as long as I live. Putting my pointer finger up to my lips, I say, "ssshhhh, sssshhhh, sshhh. Stop. Fucking. Laughing. Edward. This. Shit. Really. Isn't. Funny. I'm. Really. Going. To. Piss. Myself!!!

To anyone else, we would look like we belong in the looney bin; with the padded fucking walls and everything, but to us, this shit is fucking normal. How fucked up in the head are we? That thought alone calms my laughter a significant amount. Thank God, because I was seriously two seconds away from really pissing myself-no shit.

When my thoughts travel to how abnormal we really are, I come out of my psychotic laughing episode almost instantly. Why can't we just be fucking normal? It's not fucking fair; at all. Were both so fucked up in the head, that we're so afraid of hurting each other and ruining our friendship. The really fucking sick part is, by doing this; we end up hurting each other even more.

Edward can already tell that my whole mood has changed. He doesn't question me because he already knows exactly why it has. He simply gets up, picks me up off the floor and sits me on the toilet so I can do my business. He does all this without saying a word, and makes his way over to the shower to get the water ready for us.

I'm not even sure I can pee anymore but, when he starts that water, piss starts shooting out of my body with a force I have never felt in all of my life; not even when I'm drunk.

My bladder feels like an overfilled balloon that someone just stuck a fucking needle in. I have to admit though; it feels so fucking good to finally fucking pee. It feels so good that I almost don't notice when I rip one of the biggest farts I ever had.

Jesus fucking Christ, fucking son of a bitch, fucking piece of shit mexican food that we had for dinner. Fuck those pinto beans in the ass. I swear, never fucking again.

I can't believe my body just betrayed me like that. I'm fucking mortified, that wasn't just a normal fart either. It's not like Edward hasn't heard me fart before, we have known each other for ten years now; there has been a lot of farting believe me. But nothing like that has ever come out of my body, or anyone else's that I know for that matter. It was worst than an old man beer fart; the loudest fucking one I have ever heard. It didn't help the fact that I'm in this huge fucking bathroom and the sound echoed for a good few seconds.

The worst part of this complete fuckery, that is the betrayal of my body, is when my ass decided to sound its loudest fucking alarm ever. Edward got scared and jumped three feet in the fucking air and bashed his head on the top rail of the shower door.

He yells, "Ooowww!!! Fucking shit, son of a fucking whore!!! God damn it Bella, what the fuck was that?"

While he's having his little outburst, he's rubbing his forehead. I'm almost positive there is going to be a giant lump left behind, seeing as he already has a huge red fucking line making an appearance there.

He just stands there, waiting for me to enlighten him on what the fuck that uninvited noise was. Let's face it, that shit didn't sound anything like what a human should be able to make. It could have been confused with a grizzly bear fighting with a sea lion.

He's still staring at me when realization finally dawns on his face as he watches my face go fucking bright red as a tomato. I'm pretty sure the rest of my body is blushing just as bad as well.

"Bella did that noise come out of you?"

I can tell he already knows it did by the way he is now smiling and trying to hold back his laughter. Fucking prick, my fist is itching to punch his fucktard ass again.

"Damn Bells, I didn't know you had it in you. I can honestly tell you, Emmett doesn't have shit on you. Wait until he hears about this. Oh. My. God. He is going to fucking die."

He wouldn't dare! This fucker better keep his God damned mouth shut. I really don't need this shit from him right now.

Did I mention my eye is still burning like a woman's vagina while giving birth?

"Edward I will cut off your fucking penis if you say anything to anyone about this!" He looks at me like I'm fucking crazy-maybe I am. I'm pretty sure I look like it in my current state.

Pointing to his forehead, Edward asks, "Bella, how the fuck do you expect me to explain this big red welt, that I am pretty sure is already making its mark? I haven't looked in the mirror or anything, but I sure can feel that son of a bitch, right there."

For the second time tonight, we both burst into hysterics, laughing our asses off. Edward is standing by the shower door with a fucked up forehead, some remnants of a bloody nose and red inflamed nipples that still have some dried crusted blood around them. I'm still sitting on the toilet, in this now stuffy and steamy bathroom, due to the shower that has been running for a while now. My come shot eye is still clenched tightly shut; there's no way in hell that I'm opening that shit until I have some clean warm water running down my face.

All this laughing is making me have to pee again. How is that even possible? I just took the longest, loudest piss on record not even five minutes ago. Thank god I'm already on the toilet this time; I don't need any more embarrassment tonight. I relieve myself again, thankfully not nearly as epic as the last; my asshole decided to behave itself this time as well.

For now, crisis has been averted in that department. We're finally coming down from our current laughing fit and Edward starts to walk over to me as I'm wiping my cooter. When I'm done he takes both of my hands in his and pulls me up, into his warm strong embrace. I try to be as careful as possible, so as not to worsen the condition of his nips, when I press my body against his.

As he starts planting kisses on my face, I note that he stays as far away from the scene of the crime-my closed come stricken eye. When he reaches my ear he says, "Please, no more titty twisters, ever. That shit was extremely painful; I'm surprised that I even have nipples left after that. Come on babe; let's get into the shower before all the hot water is gone."

"O K. No more titty twisters, as long as you don't make fun of my sleep talking, or use the term 'crack whore' while referring to me. I pretty sure I'm fucking scared straight now though. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure I never get your jizz in my eye ever again; that is if I'm lucky enough that my eye will still work after this. I'm definitely not chancing it again, that's for fucking sure."

At the end of my statement, he picks me up bridal style, cradles me in his arms, and walks us to the shower. Normally, I would protest being carried, but at the moment I'm too fucking exhausted to argue with him. We both know he wouldn't put me down anyway, so I just wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in closer to me.

He looks at me in shock and says, "So you're not going to try and argue with me? No comments such as, 'Edward put me the fuck down'? Or my favorite, 'I'm not a baby; I don't need to be carried so put me down you fucking cock sucker'? I think I might go into shock."

"Shut the fuck up asshole! Don't expect it to last smart ass, I'm just tired and you're warm. So I'm letting it slide this time." We finally make it into the shower. I leap out of his arms, almost losing my balance when my feet come in contact with the ground and I nearly eat shit on the slippery shower floor. Thankfully, Edward grabs me around my arms and steadies me.

Once I have regained my balance, I pounce into the spray of hot water coming from the shower head without a second thought. Then with all the energy I have left, I scrub the shit out of face, to the point that it's almost raw. It's a little painful now, but I don't give a shit; it feels so fucking good to be getting all this fucking sperm out of my eye-finally.

I hear fuckface start to laugh at me. That fucker, all this shit is his fault. Well not really, I caused it, but it's his nut that has contaminated my face. "Fuck off you piece of shit. If you had jizz crusted on your face and in your eye, you would be doing the same fucking thing."

His smart ass fires back with, "That would never happen; I'm not a queer. I like pussy and only fuck bitches remember? So I'm not even going to consider it."

At least, I think that's what he said. It was hard to understand what the fuck he said through his laughter and the running shower. While I'm thinking of a good, witty reply to hit smug ass with, I'm caught off guard by something. I think I may have really lost my mind this time, because for a minute, I swear I could feel those creepy little fuckers slithering around inside my contaminated eyeball.

That thought starts to make me panic really fucking bad. What if that's possible? What if those creepy little fuckers are trying get into my brain or some shit? They're fucking stupid; they don't know that there isn't a egg up there to fertilize! Fuck, I got to fucking calm down or else I'm going to have a panic attack. My breathing is starting to get erratic; if I don't stop soon, I know I'm going pass out. This shit is really starting to scare me. I definitely can't have sperm for brains; that would make me think like a man! Fuck that shit! I would rather die a thousand deaths, before I would fucking live like that.

I think Edward figured out something was wrong with me, because he comes to stand behind me wrapping his arms around my torso. His touch calms me some, but I'm still fucking freaking out.

"What's wrong Bella? You're fucking hyperventilating. Calm down baby, fuck; everything is fine, I promise. Come on, sit down with me and put your head between your knees. It will make you feel better. Do want me to get you anything?"

All I can manage to squeak out between my huffs and puffs of breath is, "sperm for brains; I can't fucking have sperm for brains!"

Now Edward is looking at me like I really am crazy. With a puzzled expression on his face, he says, "O K, I have no idea what you're talking about. You have to calm down, and explain to me what the fuck is wrong. I can't help you if you don't tell me."

I try to take some deep breaths and calm myself. It is helping a little, so I try to explain to him why I'm on the verge of passing out. "I swear, I can feel those creepy little sperm fuckers of yours slithering around under my eyelid. I think they're trying make their way up to my brain, thinking there's an egg up there for them to fertilize."

Just saying it out loud, brings on a whole new round of hysteria. I think I'm about to start crying when I hear Edward start to giggle at me. What the fuck is his problem? Is he fucking crazy? This is serious fucking shit right here, and he's fucking giggling at me.

"Bella, be serious. That's not possible; I'm a fucking doctor for god sakes, I would know. So calm down, there is no way you're going to end up with sperm for brains."

After telling me that, I take a fucking chill pill and relax a little. All I can think is 'thank fucking God'. I still make it a point to ask him if he's absolutely, positively sure. He assures me that he is absolutely, positively sure.

Damn, I can be so fucking stupid sometimes. Now that I think about it, what the hell was I thinking, 'sperm for brains', really? I'm a fucking idiot.

We finally get to take our shower in peace, now that all the drama is past us. We wash each other slowly until all the hot water runs out. Our bath is long forgotten, since we're both fucking exhausted and it's already three am.

It's been one crazy fucking Friday night; I'm sure as shit it isn't going to be the last though. On the bright side, my come stricken eye is almost operable again. I guess I can look forward to not being blind in one eye now.

We towel dry our bodies and slip into bed, with my head laying on his chest and my arm around his waist with his arms encircling me. I fall into a dreamless sleep, instantly feeling content. Thank God for that. If he would have fallen asleep before me and kept me up with his loud fucking snoring, we just might have a repeat of tonight; I'm just too fucking tired for that shit.

* * *

**A/N**

Chapter 4 will be out soon, no promises as to when. I'm considering doing Chapter 5 in Edward's (POV). What do you think? Please review.


	4. Intruder

**A/N**

Thanks to everyone who is taking a chance and reading my story. So have you decided if you want some Edward (POV) next chapter? Please review and let me know. The story is really going to start picking up pace in the next few chapters, and I have some surprises coming up. This chapter is the longest by far, almost twice the length of the rest, so please enjoy and review. Special thanks to my BETA melonscraps for working her ass off to help with my story, she really is the best!

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 4: Intruder

Upon waking up, I start to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I can already tell that Edward's not in bed with me anymore. There's always an overwhelming sense of being incomplete when we're not close to each other; he's told me he has that same feeling too.

I get up, stretch my arms over my head, and yawn. I get out of bed, attempting to find my clothes so I can go and search for Edward. I don't see my clothes anywhere; he probably fucking hid them again. He does this shit to me all the time, only because he knows I'm too lazy to keep searching for them. I would rather just raid his closet and put on something of his.

Apparently, he gets off on seeing me in his clothes. It doesn't matter to me at all since his shirts and boxers are comfortable as fuck and even better, they smell like him. That starts my day off with a shit eating grin. Today is no different, I am not disappointed. I walk over to his huge walk in closet, and I do mean huge; he could probably house a small family in there. I pull out some black boxers and one of his white tee undershirts. I dress quickly while savoring the sweet smell of his clothes.

I'm still confused as to why they still smell exactly like him. I know he hasn't worn them since they had been freshly washed. I know this, since most of the time, I end up doing his laundry for him; it pisses me off when he waits till he doesn't have shit left to wear. That's one thing I may never know.

After I finish, I bring the fabric of his shirt to my nose and inhale a deep breath. I'm instantly relaxed and I can't wait until I have the real thing.

I make my way up the staircase that leads to the second floor, where the kitchen, dining room, living room and Edward's office are. Nearing the top, I smell the aroma of coffee, bacon and possibly French toast; now I am excited.

Then again, if I think about it, if his ass is actually cooking for me, he must really want something. He usually leaves all the cooking to me. His ass thinks that just because I'm a chef and own my restaurant, feeding us or sometimes just him is always my fucking responsibility

Now I'm a little scared, what the fuck can he want? I really have a bad feeling about this. Fuck it, though I may as well just get this shit over with already. I hate beating around the bush; it's really fucking pointless.

Reaching the top step, I make my way toward the kitchen. I can hear Edward cursing.

"Fuck this shit; I swear I'm never fucking cooking again! I should have just stuck to the faggot fucking eggs; at least I know how to cook that shit. Fuck, did I burn this piece of shit bacon?"

I laugh quietly to myself on my way to the kitchen. He really is a lost cause in the kitchen, but he can make some delicious fucking eggs. He wasn't lying about that. As I'm about to walk through the kitchen doorway, I'm snapped out of my amusement when I hear Edward scream like a little bitch and yell.

"Fuuuuck, ouch! Oucchhh! Fucking-son-of-a-mother-fucking-bitch-in-heat!!!"

I'm so caught off guard by his loud ass outburst; I almost jump out of my skin. Then I see the reason for his outburst that scared the living shit out of me. He was clutching at one of his still raw nipples that seemed to have gotten popped by some hot bacon grease. That's what he gets for trying to cook bacon without a shirt on, only wearing boxers. At least he had some protection. It could have been a lot worse if he hadn't been wearing those.

Out of nowhere, I burst into a fit of laughter while scaring the shit out of him, since he didn't hear me come in. He jumped about two feet in the air while turning around squealing like a little girl again, and successfully managed to knock over the egg mixture for the French toast onto the floor.

It was French toast. Damn, I'm good, I know my food! I'm still laughing when he starts to unleash his rage upon me.

"Bella, what the fuck is your god damn problem sneaking up on me like that? You almost gave my ass a fucking heart attack you bitch. You're just going to stand there and fucking laugh at me? I was trying to make your stupid ass breakfast!"

Feeling a little bad, I do my best to quiet my laughter; I don't want to upset him any further; he really was trying. I walk a few short steps so I can get to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a peck on the cheek. Even though I can tell he's still pissed, he wraps his arms around me and returns the gesture.

"I'm sorry I laughed at you. Why don't you go rinse off and change into some clean clothes. I'll get this mess cleaned up and finish breakfast, okay?"

"Fine, I really tried this time; I wanted to make your favorite breakfast for you babe. I think I burnt that faggot ass bacon though." he says as he places a soft kiss on my lips, which I return.

"It's ok Edward. I'll just make some more if it's not edible, and thank you for trying, it was really thoughtful. A word of advice, if you ever cook anything where grease is going to pop at you, be sure to wear a shirt. Thank god you were smart enough to throw on some boxers."

"I'll definitely remember that, but I think I'm just going to leave the cooking up to you from now on; unless I'm cooking eggs, they never give me a hard time. Oh, by the way, good morning beautiful. Have I ever told you that you look really sexy in my clothes? How is your eye feeling?" he says as he gives me that fucking crooked smile of his that always makes my whole body feel like jelly.

Smiling like a retard, I replied. "That's probably a good idea, and yes, you tell me that every chance you get. I'm not stupid Edward, I know you hide my clothes so I have to wear your, but you really don't have to do that, I would wear your stuff anyway. My eye is alright now, it is still a little blurry, but it's fine; much better than last night, that's for fucking sure. Now get the fuck out of here so I can get this shit cleaned and finish breakfast, I'm fucking starving."

"Good, I'm glad it's better now, and you don't have to get all hostile with me in my kitchen. Don't worry, I'm leaving now." He laughs out loud, before kissing me one more time and disappearing out of the kitchen to let me handle the catastrophe in here that is also known as Edward Cullen trying to fucking cook.

The fact that he doesn't speak on the matter of hiding my clothes confirms it for me; that sneaky son of a bitch.

After that thought, I decide to snap into action immediately. I clean up the mess that's dripping from the counter and all over the floor, soaking it up with paper towels first. I wash my hands, then go to the stove and turn off the burner that was used for the bacon and check to see if it can be saved; it can't.

I use some tongs and remove the burnt as shit bacon from the pan and put it on a paper towel to cool down before disposing. I pour all the scalding hot bacon grease into a bowl and set it aside to cool as well. I put some new bacon into the pan, turn the burner back on, but to medium this time instead of high like fuck-stick had it on.

I get the eggs out of the fridge and the bread, cinnamon, brown sugar and vanilla out of the pantry. After mixing all the ingredients together, I put another pan on the stove at medium heat as well. I soak some bread into the egg mixture and place it in the now heated pan.

While the food is cooking, I go to the kitchen utility closet and grab the Swiffer wet jet mop, a cleaning pad for it, and some disinfectant wipes. I thoroughly clean the mess, making sure any bacteria will be dead and gone; salmonella is nothing to play around with. I'm a chef, I know about this shit and I'm definitely not taking any chances. I don't care if I tend to go a little OCD on the matter. When I'm pleased with the fact that all the germs are gone, I go to put everything away, wash my hands again, and finish up breakfast.

As I'm pulling some dishes out to plate the food, I hear Edward coming up the stairs. I swear that man has a internal alarm clock that chimes 'food's ready' over and over again whenever I'm finished cooking.

I look up to see him in the doorway staring at me with a proud look on his face. I almost want to laugh when I see him, but I don't. I guess I didn't take notice earlier, but his forehead is fucked. It looks like he got cracked in the head by a 2 x 4.

I shake off my amusement and say "Perfect timing, I just finished. Go sit down and I'll bring your plate for you. Do you want anything for your forehead? It doesn't look too good." In all seriousness, it really doesn't, he must be in a lot of pain.

Edward replies, "Do you know how beautiful you look when you're in your element, in the kitchen cooking? You always look so content. My forehead is alright for now. I already took something earlier, that's what woke me up. I came up here to get some Motrin because my head was pounding; it felt like I got into a fight with a fucking bat. This mark is going to be here for a while. Good thing I'm on vacation from the hospital for the next couple of weeks, God knows what they would think if I showed up to work like this."

As he walks by me to go sit at the table in the dining area, he stops for a brief second and softly kisses the top of my head.

"Thank you. I don't know about beautiful, but I am content. You know I love cooking in your kitchen. Speaking of your vacation, have you figured out what you want to do with your time off yet?" I question.

He answers me, while I pick up the plates and make my way to the table with them. "You are beautiful. What is it going to take for you to finally believe me? As for my vacation, I have a couple ideas, but nothing decided yet. Do you want me to get you something to drink love?"

I ignore his first question. There's probably nothing he can do to change my mind about myself. I know I'm just your ordinary, plain, everyday girl and I really am fine with it. I do answer his other question though. I really need some fucking coffee; I forgot to make myself a cup when I first came up. As I set the plates down on the table, I respond with, "Yes please. Can you get me a cup of coffee? My brain might stop working, if I don't get some caffeine in me soon."

He pulls out my chair for me to sit and I gladly accept his kind gesture.

"Of course love. Do you want it the same as usual, with cinnamon vanilla creamer, but not too much because it's too sweet?" He says this with a touch of humor in his voice. He knows me too fucking well, and of course he knows about my infatuation with cinnamon vanilla creamer. He always keeps the fridge fully stocked with it for me. He's the only one besides myself that knows how to make it exactly the way I like it.

"Yes, you fucking smart ass. What is it with you lately and stating the fucking obvious? You're not stupid, so stop acting like it dipshit. Now hurry the fuck up, our food is starting to get cold and like I told you earlier I'm fucking starving."

I have no fucking idea where this angry little outburst of mine came from, or all the mood swings I have been having lately. Maybe I'm about to get my period or something, that could explain it.

Edward has been acting strange too though. All this mushy stuff is so not like him. What the hell is his trip lately? What's with him calling me baby, babe, love, and beautiful? What about all these random kisses and touching? Trying to cook me breakfast out of nowhere? Pulling out my chair for fuck sake? God, this shit can't be good at all. I kind of feel like I'm in a real life case of the invasion of the body snatchers.

I'm brought out of my mental questioning by Edward walking away mumbling something like, "Fuck, what's with all this damn hostility? I'm just trying to be nice. I swear, I can never satisfy that fucking bitch. What the fuck did I do? Just calm down Edward, she is probably just PMSing. Don't be an asshole; you're just going to end up making it worse."

I stop listening to him, as he gives himself a little a pep talk. Shit, I must be driving him nuts if I've caused him to be talking to himself while making me coffee.

He's back in no time with my cup in hand and one for himself. He sets it down in front of me, and then takes his seat at the table.

After a minute or so of awkward silence, I pick up my cup of coffee and take a sip of the much needed deliciousness, and of course, it tastes perfect; just the way I like it. I instantly feel better so I decide I should apologize to him, he really is trying. Now that I think of it, I really am acting like a bitch.

"Look Edward, I really am sorry about bitching at you earlier. I don't know what came over me. I must be getting my period soon or something. Thank you for the coffee, it's perfect." That seems to satisfy him and the tense atmosphere dissipates immediately.

"It's ok love, that's what I figured, no worries. But can we please talk about something else besides your period while we're eating?"

We both giggle a little about that, and make easy conversation while we eat. The food is a little cold now but it's still delicious.

When we're both almost done, Edward starts to look a little nervous. He then continues by asking, "Bella, I want to talk to you about something." in a concerned and almost worried tone.

Fuck, here it comes. I knew some shit was coming, it's probably the reason he's been acting so off.

I push my plate aside, fold my hands on top of the table and square my shoulders getting myself prepared for whatever he's about to hit me with.

"Um... OK, why do you look like your getting ready to go to war with me? You have your battle face on for fucks sake. I don't want to fight with you or have this turn into a argument Bella."

I reply to his statement with a simple answer, "Edward I'm just preparing myself for whatever you're going to say. When you start out with things like, 'Bella I want to talk to you about something', it usually doesn't' end well."

I then hear him mumble under his breath, "Well, I hope this doesn't". It was so quiet, that I almost thought I was imagining it.

Great, just fucking great, now I'm really fucking confused. I honestly have no fucking idea what's about to come out of his beautiful mouth. I have a feeling it's going to change things between us; though in a good or bad way, I'm not so sure yet.

At this point, I just want to get this shit over with. He looks even more nervous than before. Yeah, it doesn't look like anything good is going to come from this. With my patience wearing thin, I blurt out, "Fucking calm down Edward. It looks like that fucking vein in the side of your head is about to burst, its pulsing so damn hard. Just fucking spit it out already." I guess that gives him enough motivation to finally say something, because after God knows how long, he begins.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about us."

Well that's fucking obvious, I think to myself, rather than saying it out loud. I try to urge him on with my eyes, which he's trying his hardest to avoid. So since I can't get him to look at me, I resort to using the gesture of a slight nod with my head which I can tell he noticed.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. This is just hard for me, you're my best fucking friend Bella, I never want to lose that, ever. You remember what you said to me last night?"

Finally looking into my eyes, he sees the confusion in them. I still have no idea what he's talking about. We both said a lot of things to each other last night.

"You know, when we were doing the deed, and I asked you to tell me something. Remember what you said? Did you mean that?"

Realization finally hit me and I remember what I said. I told him that I was his, and that I always have been. I understand now why he's so nervous. He thinks I really took that shit seriously, and he's assuming that he has to let me down easy. So we don't do anything that will end up ruining our friendship. I'm so fucking relieved now. I thought this was going to be something serious.

I let him off the hook instantly when I figure out what he's trying to get at. His face becomes visibly less tense when I start to smile at him.

"Fuck Edward, that's it? You had me scared shitless, that it was something really serious. We both know that we don't take the shit we say in the bedroom seriously. You don't have to worry about trying to 'let me down easy' or whatever you call it when you are done with those sluts. So it's OK, save your speech for somebody else." I say with a laugh and a smile.

For some reason I feel like I'm missing something. Edward is looking at me with his eyes full of confusion, disappointment and maybe a little pain. I don't have time to question it though, we are both startled when the doorbell rings, not once, but three times in a row.

Before Edward can even react to that, we hear the door open and close shut. What the fuck? I remember watching him lock that fucking door when we got here last night.

Instantly Edward is up and out of his chair, pulling me out of mine and behind his protective stance.

I try to listen to what noises are being made throughout the house, so I can better prepare myself for whatever may be coming at us. Edward is silent as well, and I can tell he's doing the same thing. We just stand here waiting for someone to possibly be breaking in to rob us, tie us up, and leave us for dead. Then we hear the click clack of high heels coming up the stairs. I instantly know who this very unwanted intruder is.

Edward does too I'm sure, because his stance immediately relaxes some. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and says, "For the love of all that's holy, I don't care if she's my fucking sister, I'm going to end up murdering her tiny ass one of these days."

Then our own personal little cracked out tinkerbell, also known as Alice; comes prancing through the kitchen doorway and comments on her brother's not so nice statement about taking her life. "Edward, shut the fuck up. You know you love me too much to ever do that, and Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck happened to your forehead?"

Edward and I locked eyes at the end of the question having a silent conversation with each other. Our non verbal communication went a little something like this...

Me: Edward, you better not say a fucking word about what happened in that bathroom last night!

Edward: I wasn't planning on it, but I really should after what you did to my nipples. They still fucking hurt.

Me: I don't care you brought that upon yourself, so keep your fucking mouth shut!

Edward: What are you going to do for me if I do?

Me: Ugghhh... What do you want asshole?

Edward: I want some head. And when I say head, I mean some good head, not that shit you do to get me hard before we fuck.

Before I can comply and give into him, I'm saved by Alice when she interrupts our silent conversation.

"Eeewww, you two are fucking gross! I honestly don't even want to know anymore. So please spare me the nasty details and please stop having your private, eye fucking conversations in front of me. I have already told you, it looks like your reading each other's minds, and it really fucking creeps me out." she says all in one breath.

Edward responds to her by saying, "I wasn't going to tell you anyway, and if you don't like it, get the fuck out of my house. Nobody invited you here in the first place Alice, and how the fuck did you get in here? I know my front door was locked to keep out little fucking pests like you."

Alice comes back with, "You can go fuck yourself because I'm not here for you. The world doesn't revolve around you Edward. I'm actually here for Bella. We have a spa appointment in twenty minutes. You would know that if you two would answer your fucking phones every once in a while. As for how I got in. I made a copy of your key when you forget them at my house last week."

Hold up a fucking God damned minute. Did she just say what I think she said? I never made plans to go anywhere with her ass today! If she thinks I'm going to a faggot ass spa with her, then she really is fucking smoking crack!

Before Edward could respond to her, I did. "Alice, I never made any plans with you for today, and we both know that I would never agree to go to a spa with you. I can't even remember the last time I had a weekend off, and I already promised Edward that I would spend it with him."

When I'm done telling her to fuck off, Edward is standing next to me giving his little sister a very smug look as if to say 'see fuck off, she's mine this weekend'.

Then she does it. She gives me those piece of shit, fucking puppy dog eyes and I know I'm fighting a losing battle. Then she starts to beg.

"Bella, please, you have to go with me. I can't go all by myself, we're best friends. You wouldn't do that to me, would you? And plus I already paid for you. If you don't go it will be a waste of money, because they won't refund it."

Edward looks over at me and I know he can tell I'm about to cave. He acts instantly.

"Go fuck yourself. She was my best friend first, and no Alice, you're not fucking taking her anywhere with you. We made plans to spend the weekend with each other, and I'm not going to let you ruin them. One more thing, I want that fucking key you have!" he finishes in a huff.

I swear sometimes he can act like he's five years old, but it's so damn cute when he does it. My thoughts about Edward are interrupted when Alice starts to talk again.

"Edward, stop acting like a spoiled fucking child. It's only going to be a little over an hour and then I'll bring her back. It's really not up to you anyway, it's Bella's decision not yours dumb fuck; and you can have your bitch ass key, I have plenty more copies at home."

I'm starting to get tired of their bickering back and forth, so I cut in before Edward has time to try and rip her a new one.

"Edward, it's fine. I wont be gone that long and then we can get a locksmith to come over and change the locks. I have to swing by my place and grab some more clothes anyway, since for some reason, they always seem to go missing when I'm over here, you fucking thief."

Alice is scowling at me, while Edward starts to pout and says, "Bella, you promised. Please stay with me love. She's little, I can pick her up with my pinky, and throw her out on her ass."

That makes me laugh a little, but I stand firm on my choice, even though I really don't want to leave him.

"Edward, stop it. I've made my choice and I'm going. I'll be back soon, if you want me to bring anything back, just text or call me, OK?"

"Fine, go ahead and leave me here all alone. Maybe I'll just invite Tanya over to keep me company while you're gone."

Now he's crossing the fucking line with that shit. I know he doesn't mean it; he's just trying to get me to stay. I still don't like that shit though.

"Don't even fucking joke about that shit. It's not in any fucking way funny at all, and I swear to fucking God, if you do that shit, I won't ever fucking talk to you again. That bitch should know better by now; that is if she doesn't want her fucking nose broken by me again. Why did you even have to say that shit, you know I hate that cock sucking slut!"

When I finish screaming at him, he looks remorseful. He hesitantly takes me in his arms and holds me tight, to which I return his embrace. Then he starts to apologize. I let him continue even though he's already forgiven.

"Bella baby, I'm so sorry. I know, I shouldn't have said that to you. I just don't want you to go and it slipped out when I was thinking of something to get you to stay with me. You know I wouldn't do that." While he was saying this, he was kissing the top of my head.

"It's OK, you're forgiven, just please don't to that shit again. I'm going to go now, OK?"

"OK, just hurry up, I'm going to miss you, love." He finishes as he places little kisses all over my lips; kisses that I return.

We're brought back to earth when Alice clears her throat rather loudly. When I chance a glance in her direction, she's giving me a very pointed look with her eyebrows raised in a suggestive manner, arms crossed over her chest and her foot tapping impatiently.

I reluctantly pull away from Edward's arms and give him one last peck on the lips, saying our good-byes to each other.

When I'm walking away to get my flip flops on, I hear Alice mumble something like "I don't know why you two won't see the obvious, and just be together. You already act like a couple."

I felt like saying, why don't you just shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business, especially when it concerns things you don't understand. I kept my mouth shut like a good little girl though, and just sighed angrily. Fuck what did I get myself into, this time with her is going to be pure hell!

After I slip on my flip flops, I call out to Alice saying, "C'mon Alice lets go". When she bounds over to me, she looks at me in horror and shock. So I ask her, "What?"

"Uh, Bella, don't take this the wrong way, but aren't you going to change? I mean, I'm sure my brother's clothes are comfortable, but they're not really suitable to leave the house in."

I'm starting to get a little irritated so I end up snapping at her. "Alice, are you fucking dense? Did you not just fucking hear me? I said your fucking brother hid my god damned clothes, so I would be stuck in his shit all day. If you don't like it you can fly your little pixie ass out of here, and leave me be, I never wanted to go anyway. I'm just doing so you will leave me the fuck alone!"

I finish my angry outburst in a yell. I'm immediately embarrassed at myself, I have never yelled at Alice or talked to her like that before. God, what's wrong with me and these fucking mood swings? I must be PMSing really bad this month. I start to feel myself blush, Jesus Christ, Fuck me!

When I look up after my psychotic episode, I see Edward looking at me with a proud ass smile on his face. I can't tell if it's from the fact that he successfully stole my clothes and I may be staying now, or if it's because I just told his little sister to basically kiss my ass.

I chance a look at Alice, only to see her with wide eyes, and her jaw almost touching the floor. Before I have time to back track and apologize for my rudeness, she recovers from her stunned state.

"Oh my God Bella, sensitive much, is PMS really doing you that bad this month hun? Don't worry about your clothes, I have something for you to wear in the car. You can change in there; let's get out of here before we're late Bella. Bye big bro, holla at you later."

With that, she danced down the stairs and out of the house with me following, once I understood what she said. I threw a quick wave and 'bye' over my shoulder to Edward, which he returned.

When we got out front, we jumped into her brand new 2010 bright yellow Lamborghini Murcielago. I don't understand why she got it. Don't get me wrong, it's a really nice car, but that shit cost three times more than my restaurant did. It only gets thirteen miles per gallon on the freeway and worse than that, only eight miles per gallon in the city. That's just not economical, if you ask me.

My rover or my challenger, for that matter, isn't that much better, so I should probably just shut my thoughts up. I do just that when Alice throws me a dress from her clothing line to wear.

I do my best to change in this tiny, cramped fucking car. Thank God this shit has tinted windows, or the whole neighborhood would be getting a peep show.

After a couple minutes of struggling, I finally get the damn dress on. It fits perfectly. I knew it would, Alice knows my size better than I do. I'm extremely lucky that this dress doesn't require a bra, because I don't have one at the moment, thanks to my clothes stealing best friend.

After I'm situated with my clothing situation, Alice tosses me a hairbrush, hair tie and a pair of Gucci shades. Damn, do I really look that bad? The look in her eyes tells me that, yes in fact, I do look that bad.

I run the brush through my bird's nest of hair. When all the knots are out, I put it in a loose messy bun on top of my head. Edward tells me I look sexy with my hair like that, I hope he wasn't lying. I put the glasses on, and of course they are perfect too; they look really good on me.

Alice gives me a smile of approval, and then starts the car. Just like that, we're off, so I can endure whatever hell this crazy little pixie bitch throws at me. I love her and even though she drives me insane ninety percent of the time, I wouldn't have her any other way.

**A/N, from melonscraps (beta)**

I am terribly sorry for the long wait. The delay on this chapter is completely my fault. I have had it for two weeks, and had trouble finding time to work on. I really do apologize, and I hope the delay hasn't cost the story any readers. I really love the story, which is why I offered to beta it. I promise that I will not delay the story anymore. You, the readers, have my word.


	5. Memory Lane

**A/N**

This chapter is in Edwards (POV). It was really hard for me; the most exhausting chapter yet, so I really hope you like it. I rewrote it a few times and I'm still not completely satisfied with it, but it was the best that I could do. I have been getting a lot of questions about the characters and I hope this chapter clears up some questions and confusion. I know the story has been going kind of slow so far, but it's about to start picking up. All the drama is on the way. Another big thanks to my BETA melonscraps, for her hard work on this chapter.

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 5: Memory Lane

**Edwards (POV)**

As Bella walks out the door, I can only think of one thing. When I was in the process of trying to pour my heart out to this fucking girl, she thought I was trying to 'let her down easy'. Add to this that I fucking hate my little sister with a passion.

Seriously, 'let her down easy'? Can she be anymore wrong? Actually it's the complete opposite. When the fuck has anything between us been fucking easy? Never, because I can't seem to recall a God damned thing.

I finally worked up the courage to stop being such a pussy, and tell Bella how I feel; I mean tell her how I really, really feel. Then she takes it for some sort of sick joke. The bitch has the nerve to smile and laugh in my face, relieved because she thinks I want shit to be like this with us. I want her, all of her, not just this fuck-buddy shit; that was her idea. I never wanted that. I only agreed to it because I love her and I figured it would turn into more eventually, when she was ready.

I'm twenty-seven years old and I need to settle down. All this 'I'm single and free shit' just isn't what it used to be. There is only one person that I could ever consider doing that with, and that person is Bella. It has always been her and it always will be.

If I'm being honest, I've pretty much been in love with her since the first day I met her in high school. She's the reason for my commitment issues and the fact I can't bring myself to actually be in a relationship, unless it's with her. Instead of telling her how I feel, I just stand by and wait like a little pussy whipped bitch. I thought for sure, after I popped her cherry during the summer before our first semester in college, it would only be a matter of time before she was officially mine. Nine years later and I'm still waiting for her, and I'll wait the rest of my life if I have to.

She wanted to go to college in San Francisco, so I followed her and we never left. We didn't go to the same school, but we were still inseparable.

Don't get me wrong, I'm far from perfect. During this fucked up friendship of ours, I have fucked a lot of bitches and got a lot of head, but none of them meant shit to me. Bella is the only woman who I have or ever will make love to, the rest is just sex with no feelings attached. I only did it because, let's face, it I'm horny, and to make Bella jealous; hoping she would realize she wanted something more with me. It was the stupid, pussy, girl way to deal with shit, but in my defense, I really thought it would work. It didn't however, and it only caused things to be harder between us.

Every time we talked about a relationship, she would clam the fuck up. It was like we were having a conversation about boiling kittens or some shit.

Bella has a serious relationship phobia that has caused her to be a twenty-seven year old that has never had a boyfriend. In return, that has caused me to be a twenty-seven year old that has only had one girlfriend in sophomore year at Forks High, prior to meeting Bella. But I can't bring myself to start a relationship with someone, not when I know she's the only one for me. The reason for this is, she's afraid that she's going to fuck up anyone she's with, like her mom did to Charlie.

I'm ready to man the fuck up though, it's time. I can't wait any longer. This shit is fucking killing me, to not have her be mine. I'm going to tell her everything, show her that it will work between us, and I'll do anything to make it work. I don't fucking care if she fucking hurts me; it doesn't matter; my heart will always be hers regardless. If that's the price it takes, I'll pay that shit gladly to call her mine. As a matter of fact, that's exactly what I was getting ready to tell her when, Alice, my bitch ass fairy of a sister had to ruin it. All I have to say is 'fuck her', I think the little pixie bitch is trying to ruin my life!

Now that I feel like I have just exposed my inner pussy to myself, I think I should watch some porn while jerking my manhood, piss in the shower, work on my car and maybe go outside and start a random fight with a stranger; all in hopes that by the time Bella gets back I will have been able to exchange this huge pussy I now have between my legs, back for my nuts.

While I'm lost in my thoughts, trying to remember where I stashed my porn so Bella wouldn't stumble across it, that fucking faggot ass doorbell rings. I almost just ignore the shit because I'm not expecting anyone, and it's probably someone trying to sell me some bullshit that I really don't want or need. When that shit rings two more times, I figure I'll just go get rid of this prick that keeps ringing my doorbell so I can locate my porn stash and jerk the shit out of my dick, like there is no tomorrow.

When I open the door, I instantly know I made the wrong decision. I almost don't believe my fucking eyes, they must be playing tricks on me. I haven't seen this bitch in over six months, and the last time she was here shit didn't end well at all. I would have thought she learned her lesson, but I guess fucking not because she's on my doorstep, with sort of a horrified look on her face.

After my initial shock where's off, I realize I need to figure out why this slut is here intruding on my jerk off time.

"Tanya what the fuck are you doing here, and why the fuck are you looking at me like that?" I demand.

"Oh my God what happened to your head baby?" she questions.

Okay this bitch must be delusional...baby? What the fuck is she talking about? The last time she came here, Bella came over and found her here, broke her fucking nose and almost choked her to death.

_(Flashback)_

_I was on my way to my favorite coffee house after a long, double shift at the hospital. I only had three hours of rest in the last twenty-four hours; I was dead on my feet._

_My plan was to get some coffee, go home and sleep all fucking day. My plans changed very quickly however._

_When I pulled up to my destination, I focused on the brand new Supercharged Range Rover parked in front of me. I already knew for sure that it was Bella's new Rover she just got a couple weeks ago; that shit is fucking tight__ and one of a kind. I would know; I helped her pick that fucker out._

_I start getting excited at the prospect of seeing her. Usually she's at the restaurant, working her ass off around this time. When I called her last night, she said she was going to be really busy today, and most likely wouldn't be able to go out to lunch with me like we had planned. I jumped out of my BMW and rushed over to find her. What I found was definitely not what I expected._

_She was outside, standing in front of one of the outdoor tables, but she wasn't alone. She was hugged up with some tool in her arms, embracing him._

_I don't know what the fuck made me do what I did then. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or it was the fact that this asshole had his arms around my Bella. But I fucking snapped._

_I ripped that mother-fucker off of her so fast and threw his ass directly into that fucking table. __That fucktard __was so stunned he didn't move or speak, but Bella did.  
_

_"Edward what the fuck are you doing? Have you lost your damn mind?"_

_Does she really think I'm the one with a fucking problem? Well I guess I am, I just found out that my best friend was a lying cunt, and so that's exactly what I tell her._

_"You want to know what my damn problem is? I just found out my best friend is a lying whore. You don't have enough time to go out to lunch with me 'your so called best friend' but you have time to be here hugged up with that fuck-face queer bag?" I say, as I gesture to the fucker that still hasn't moved from his spot on the ground._

_"Edward you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Stop being a stupid asshole, go home, and get some sleep because you're obviously losing it. I'll talk to you later when you get your sanity back." She answers back, just below a yell._

_All that does is piss me off even more._

_"No, fuck you Bella, you're a lying bitch, and I don't want to fucking talk to you. So just leave me the fuck alone, I'm done with this shit." I yell back at her as I turn to get the fuck out of there; but not before finding a good sized rock that was on the ground, launching it at her car, and breaking the passenger window on the stupid, lying cunt's shit._

_All I hear as I get in my car to leave is a ear piercing scream of "Fuck you!" to which I decide to roll down my window and yell back "not anymore sweetie, I don't like to fuck stupid lying bitches!"_

_I take off to go home, tires screeching as I do so, leaving a burn-out mark._

_When I get home, I'm still fucking pissed, but now instead of committing a murder, all I want is revenge._

_After a nap and a shower, I'm feeling pretty fucking __phresh. All I need now is some head, possibly some pussy, and I know just the bitch to call for what I need._

_I make the stupid decision to call that bitch Tanya. I have relations with her on occasions such as these, when Bella's being a stupid cunt. The only problem is that she's a stage five clinger. I've had to set her dumb ass straight more than once. The only reason I put up with her is the fact she gives some really good __becky._

_I call her and propose my offer of some drinks at the bar, which of course she accepts. She knows exactly what's going to happen when were done with those drinks and I know she's looking forward to it. The bitch is addicted to my dick; I can tell by the way she sounded on the phone that she can't wait for her next fix._

_I have to wait an hour before the bitch is ready, so I tell her just to meet me there when she is ready. I hate fucking waiting on females to do their girly shit._

_Not waiting, I go to my closet and pick out what I'm going to wear tonight. I decide on some slightly tight fitting black LRG jeans and a red Sean John long sleeve button up. Then I pick out a pair of Jay's, the red and black twelve's; 'perfect'._

_I'm sort of a shoe fanatic; Vans, Jordans, Nikes and even some old school retro Reeboks, in every fucking color you can get. Obviously I'm very fucking proud of my shoe collection, __Fat Joe ain't got shit on me._

_When I finish admiring my precious babies, I go back to getting ready. I run some BioSilk through my naturally messy hair, it makes it really soft and bitches love that shit. I spray on some cologne and I'm done._

_I call a cab because I plan to get shit faced, and I am not taking any chances with my baby or getting a DUI._

_I get to the bar forty-five minutes before she does, and I'm already pretty tipsy; I wasn't going to waste my time just waiting for her. So far, I've already had five Grey Goose shots with Red Bull._

_When I feel her come up behind me and start kissing on my neck, I cringe a little and all I can think is that these are the wrong lips. Fuck it; it's too late to change my mind now._

_Tanya orders a Tequila Sunrise followed by a shot of Patron and makes me take one with her. I have two more shots of Goose with red bull after that. I am now wide awake and drunk off my ass._

_Soon, everything starts to get fuzzy. I'm not really sure how I got home or why Tanya came with me, or what we did when we got there. I just hope I was smart enough to use a condom if I fucked her._

_I'm shocked as shit when I wake up to Bella screaming at me, and Tanya's in my bed cuddled up next to me. Fuck... I forgot I gave her a key to my house.  
_

_"What the fuck Edward? Who the fuck is this whore, and why is she in your bed? You better get this fucking bitch out of here before I tear her a new pussy! I have been trying to call your bitch ass all fucking night, since nine!"_

_Tanya starts to stir from Bella's scream-fest. I can't fucking handle her shit right now, even though I'm still pissed, I can't stop loving her._

_Her screaming makes my ears ring and my head spin. I drank way too much; I think I'm still drunk and I feel like I'm going to puke._

_Out of nowhere Tanya sits up and looks like she's about to say something to Bella. If she does, she's a fucking idiot; Bella's just waiting for a reason to crack her shit. I cringe when Tanya starts to speak. In the state I'm in right now, her voice sounds like nails on a chalk board._

_"Eddie, who is this girl, and why is she screaming at you?"_

_Before I can answer her, Bella does it for me._

_"I'm Bella, and you need to get the fuck out of here now if you know what's best for your fake blonde ass, you fucking whore. " Bella threatens then adds " and don't fucking call him Eddie, he doesn't like that shit."_

_Tanya's dumb ass basically challenges her with, "Bella is it? Firstly, I am not a whore but you do seem to be a huge bitch. Secondly, last time I checked, he didn't have a girlfriend, and you don't seem to be his mother. Thirdly, I'm here because 'EDDIE' wants me here; he said he loves me so I think you should take your own advice and get the fuck out of here, so we can finish what we didn't get to last night."_

_Is this psycho bitch fucking high? I don't love this bitch, nor will I ever, and I absolutely don't want her here; I don't even know why I let her come with me. I never bring these whores back to my house. More importantly, who the fuck does she think she is, talking to my Bella like that?_

_I look over at Bella to see her reaction to the verbal vomit this bitch just spewed, speaking of vomit I really think I'm going to soon. I hold it back though, because I'm instantly enraged to the point of seeing red. Bella has tears in her eyes and looks broken. It breaks me just watching it, I don't care that she's a lying bitch or that I'm supposed to be mad at her. I act on instinct immediately._

_I jump out of bed and notice I have boxers on, 'thank fucking God' I think to myself, as I run straight to Bella. She tries to push me away at first but gives in easily and lets me hold her until she has calmed down some._

_I turn to Tanya to set her ass straight. She's gaping at me, with her eyes wide. I think to myself, 'yeah bitch, get it through your thick skull, I don't want you and you don't mean shit to me'._

_"Tanya, I really fucking think you should leave now. I don't remember how we got here, with you in my bed, or why you would ever get the impression that I could love you. The only good you do, would be me not having to use my hand when I don't have anyone else to take care of it. I have never hit a woman, but if you ever come near Bella or ever say some shit like that again, I swear to God you will be my first!" I defend Bella with as much venom as I can muster._

_Tanya just sits there opening and closing her mouth like a retarded fish, trying to think of something to say._

_Since she's obviously stunned and can't think of anything to say at the moment, Tanya jumps off the bed clothed in a red, lacy bra and underwear, charges toward us and slaps the shit out of me commenting "It's okay, I like my men to be able to get it up, so that bitch can have you; I don't want a limp-dick asshole."_

_The second the last word leaves her mouth, Bella launches herself at Tanya, and she instantly has her pinned down on the ground. Tanya can't move at all. Bella balls her hand into a fist and punches the shit out of Tanya's nose. The crunch and the shrill scream that comes from Tanya are enough to tell me that Bella broke her fucking nose._

_I should stop this, but it's just too fucking entertaining to watch, and I'm really not feeling too hot._

_Bella then says in a truly demonic voice that scares even me._

_"Look here you dirty fucking slut, I'm only going to warn your ass once. You stay the fuck away from him. If I ever see you again, I swear your whole face will need reconstructive surgery. Oh, and for the record, it must have just been you because Edward has never had that problem with me. __He may be an asshole __but he is nowhere close to having a limp-dick."_

_After Bella tears her a new one, Tanya starts to cry with blood streaming from her nose and down her face onto my wood floors. Bella, feeling satisfied, gets off of her, and lets her get up while adding "I'm done with you, you can get the fuck out now"._

_Tanya really is a stupid bitch, because when Bella turned to dismiss her, Tanya gets brave, and tries to get some of her dignity back by jumping up to attack Bella. Bella heard her and turned around in time for Tanya to bring her down to the floor, pulling at her hair and scratching her face; basically pussy, bitch fighting._

_Bella attempts to push her off but she can't quite manage. That's when I step in. I know Bella can handle herself, I just can't watch anyone try to hurt her, even if there doing a real shitty job at it._

_I grab a big chunk of Tanya's hair from the top of her head and rip her off my love. She screams out in pain and hits me in the stomach. That was really stupid on her part because that triggers me to lose the last of my control on the nausea and I puke all over her._

_Now I'm yarfing, Tanya's screaming and crying again, and Bella's back on her feet completely silent with a look of pure rage in her eyes._

_Before I can even begin to comprehend what the fuck is happening, Tanya's screams and cries turn into choking sobs. I look up to see that Bella has Tanya pushed up against the wall with her hands wrapped around Tanya's neck, choking the shit out of her. Bella is screaming in Tanya's face "I swear to God bitch, I will fucking kill your ass right now! Just give me a fucking reason, and I will make sure you never breathe again."_

_Tanya starts to struggle and I know she's close to running out of air. Now that I'm done yarfing all over my floor, I feel much better and I'm so fucking glad that I don't have carpet, but I need to stop this shit, before Bella really does kill this bitch._

_As I try to put a stop to these crazy bitches, Bella slams the back of Tanya's head into the wall, then throws her to the floor as she is choking, coughing and clutching at her throat. Bella then says in a completely calm and scary as shit voice "That was my last fucking warning, now get the fuck out of here and stay the fuck away. If there is a next time, I won't be stopping."_

_Tanya finally got the message and got the fuck out of my house still covered in my vomit._

_Bella and I cleaned up the mess that was just made, while talking all of this bullshit out._

_It turns out that the piece of shit she was hugging really was a queer bag. I mean literally, he was gay. Bella was in the process of interviewing and hiring him to be a line cook at her restaurant, when I saw them and took it the wrong way. I swear, sometimes I can be such a fucking over reacting idiot. It's something I just can't control when it comes to Bella._

_After finding out that little bit of information, I made a promise to myself to keep my dick in my pants, so I could start trying to be the kind of man that Bella needs._

_(End Flashback)_

I'm brought back from my trip down memory lane, by Tanya shaking my shoulder saying, "Earth to Eddie" while waving her other hand in front of my face.

Damn. I really just zoned the fuck out, forgetting that I have a pest to get rid of as soon as possible.

"Really Tanya, what are you doing here?" I repeat my question from earlier.

"I tried to call you to see if we could have some fun, but your number was changed, so I figured I would stop by and see how you were doing. Seriously though, what happened to your head? It looks terrible."

Can this bitch be anymore stupid? Does she have any sense of self preservation at all?

"I tripped in the shower and it's not that bad, I'm fine. I really do think you should leave now though, it's not a good idea for you to be here." As I answer, I am hoping that it will get her out of here faster.

"Eddie stop being ridiculous. I know you didn't mean all that stuff you said to me, it's okay; I'm so over that, I forgive you. Is this about that crazy girl? The one who busted in on us and tried to kill me? Because I'm not afraid of her and you shouldn't be either, I'm not letting her ruin this for me." She says this while brushing past me into my house.

She's calling Bella crazy? I'm pretty sure there is a psyc-ward somewhere looking for her twacked ass. I sure as shit meant every single fucking word I said to her during our last encounter, and did she really just walk into my house like she owns the shit?

What the fuck am I doing still standing here? God, I'm losing it; maybe that blow to the head last night did more harm than I thought. I get my wits about me, so I can go extract the nut job from inside my house.

I walk in, not bothering to close the door, with hopes it won't take too long to get this psycho bitch out of my house. I can hear her in the kitchen; damn she already made it upstairs. When I make it up to the kitchen, she's digging through the sub-zero, looking for something.

"What the fuck are you looking for Tanya? Can you please just leave?" I question her, in a harsh voice.

"Baby I'm just trying to find an ice pack. Your head is hurt, I don't plan to leave until you're better." she declares.

I am literally fucked; I can already tell there is no good that is going to come from this. I need to fix this shit, now.

"Tanya, seriously, you need to leave now. I have already told you, I. Am. Fine. I am a grown ass man, not to mention a fucking doctor. I want you to know that I meant every fucking word I said to you last time you were here. You really need to fucking stop calling me Eddie and baby; I'm in no way your fucking baby and I don't like that shit. So I'm going to ask you nicely one more time to please fucking leave, before I call the police and slap a restraining order on your unstable ass." I roar at her.

I finally take note of what she's wearing for the first time since she got here. What the fuck is that? Is she fucking wearing lingerie? It sure the fuck does look like it, I don't think that's enough fabric to be considered a dress. Jesus this bitch is seriously desperate.

"Stop acting like you don't want me, I just saw the way you were looking at my body. Just admit you want me so we can stop playing these stupid games. You know you miss me just as much I miss you." She says while interrupting my thoughts and starts to walk toward me.

She gets to me fast, before I can even respond to her. She slides the straps of her lingerie down her shoulders and the top falls to the ground pooling around her heal clad feet.

At that moment, I'm a little speechless. She wasn't wearing a bra so her tits are just starring me straight in the fucking face and her sorry excuse for underwear doesn't cover shit.

Without any permission from me, my fucking trader dick chooses that moment to stand straight up at attention. Of course, Tanya notices immediately the effect she's having on me. She steps out of her clothing and pushes me into the living room with her mostly naked body while her hand is wrapped around my member.

I know in my head and with all my heart that I should be stopping this. I have worked too hard to let it all go to shit. I haven't fucked around with anyone else but Bella since the incident with Tanya six months ago, but my dick has other plans and it's not letting me think clearly.

When we arrive at the edge of the couch, Tanya pushes me down, gets on her knees in front of me, pulls my hardness out of my basketball shorts, and starts to stroke me. I let out a low moan, regretting it instantly as it just confirms my willingness to her. She starts stroking faster and harder than before, using the pre-come from the tip of my dick as lubricant.

I really want to stop her but I can't, my dick won't let me. Being the idiot asshole that I am, I just lay back with my arms behind my head, close my eyes and enjoy being jerked off and not having to use my own hand.

After she strokes me for a good twenty minutes, I feel like I'm going to fucking bust. Tanya can tell and I know what she's about to do; she's about to finish by sucking me off. This bitch loves to swallow my nut.

Her pace slows and I finally open my eyes and look down. Sense knocks me right in my fucking head when I do so. Tanya has her eyes closed, mouth wide and ready for me, while she inches toward my shit. When her hot breath hits my dick I know I have to stop this now, I can't let it go any further. Bella is so much more important to me than this. I couldn't give a shit if I'm going to have the worst case of blue balls on record; I fucking deserve that shit and so much more. I have to get off my ass and get this bitch out of here right now.

Now that my retarded body is on board with my brain, I grab her head when it's less than an inch away from tip, push this bitch the fuck off me while I get up and tuck this trouble maker back into my shorts. I look over to see a confused Tanya, still on her knees.

"Tanya you need to get your clothes and get the fuck out of here. I can't do this shit with you anymore, so leave me the fuck alone. Please don't come here ever fucking again. Bella is the only one I want, and you're not anywhere close to comparing to her on your best fucking day. All your going to do by trying to pursue me is embarrass yourself. Got it?"

I give her a second to process that shit. After a couple of minutes pass in silence, I start to get really impatient. I walk past a still frozen Tanya to the kitchen grab her slutty fucking piece of cloth off the floor, and get her keys off the counter.

I make my way back to the living room, to see the bitch still hasn't moved. I feel my temper rising, and I start to get really fucking angry. She really needs to get the fuck out of here and now.

"I swear to fucking God Tanya, if you don't put this shit on and get the fuck out of my house right now, I will drag your ass out and toss you on the fucking curb."

She still makes no move to get up, but has the nerve to give me a look as if to say 'I dare you'. So, this cunt thinks this is some sort of game, that I'm fucking playing with her. Well she is about to find out how fucking serious I am.

I step toward her until she is right in front of me, sending me a murderous glare. I roughly push the fabric over her head, and pull her arms through the appropriate holes. When she's covered, I rip her up by her arm, basically pulling and carrying her out of my house at the same time, while she struggles slightly to get loose from my hold.

"Did you really think I was fucking with you? I want you out, now. Get it through that dense fucking head of yours, I don't fucking want you here. If I wanted anything to do with you, I would have contacted you within the last six months. Seriously, take a fucking hint bitch." I say just below an angry yell as I drag the bitch and make my way through my house toward the front door.

Tanya's dumb ass finally takes the hint, stops struggling and starts walking like a normal human being. When we get to my already open front door, I hear Tanya mumble under her breath, "I'm going to make sure you regret this shit Eddie." By that time, we were at the sidewalk.

Before I can even consider what her crazy ass mumbling means, she takes me completely off guard. Out of nowhere, she wiggles out of my grip on her arm, wraps her arms around my neck, fists the hair on the back of my head tightly. She pulls my head to her level and plunges her fucking dirty ass tongue, down my surprised ass throat.

What the fuck is she doing? This cunt knows I don't do this whole kissing shit; I have never kissed this bitch or any of the others. It's just too fucking personal. The only lips I have ever wanted on mine are Bella's.

I quickly bring my hands to her face, trying to pry this twat-waffle the fuck off of me. This bitch won't fucking budge. I guess I'm going to have to resort to more extreme measures; she gives me no other choice. I'm not just going to stand here and let this bitch molest my mouth. As it is, I'm already going to need a whole bottle of mouthwash, her tongue tastes like shit.

I do the only thing I can think of that will have immediate results. I bite the shit out of her tongue, but not hard enough to draw blood. I would probably puke on her again, even though that doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.

It works instantly, just like I expected. Tanya finally releases her claws from the death grip they had in my hair, takes a step back from me, and covers her mouth with her right hand, a small condescending smile clearly visible coming from underneath her hand. She has an evil smug look in her eyes that quite honestly terrifies the shit out of me.

I break eye contact, and try my best to restrain myself from slapping the shit out of her for that. When I look up, I immediately know why she pulled that little fucking stunt, and the reason for the smug look and smile that's still on her face.

I really am seriously fucked. Not twenty feet away, Bella is standing next to my sister's car with a look of pure rage, horror and betrayal clearly on her face. My sister is next to her gaping at me.

What is that phrase Bella always uses? Oh yeah, 'fuck my life'. That shit is perfectly fitting for me right now.

**A/N**

Thight is slang for really cool.

Becky is a term for giving head. Used in the song "Becky" by Plies.

Fat Joe is a rapper that was on MTV's Cribs and has a massive collection of shoes.

Twacked is a word I made up when I was referring to a very unstable person that pissed me off.

If you have any questions that I didn't go over here and you didn't understand, please feel free to ask. Thanks for reading and please review...


	6. Grown Woman Tantrum

**A/N**

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. A special thanks to those of you that have been reviewing and of course my BETA melonscraps. Love you all! Here is Chapter 6, it's going to get very angsty so please don't hate me. We are back to Bella's POV now. I wrote some text messages into this chapter. It was really difficult so a pre-warning, the text messages are not spelled correctly on purpose, I hope it turned out okay. Please review. Thanx, MamaMel415

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 6: Grown Woman Tantrum

**Bella's (POV)**

I have to say that the spa wasn't such a bad idea after all. It was extremely relaxing; I didn't get poked and prodded at like I was a piece of meat on a grill, like I had originally thought would happen. I even thanked Alice afterward, for dragging me with her.

As we were on our way to my place so I could pick up some clothes, I realized that I had forgotten my keys at Edward's house.

The drive to Edward's house was a short one, with Alice blasting her new favorite song. She just discovered, Sugar by Flo Rida, and was playing it on repeat through the superior sound system she has in this fucking thing. At least she's over her Miley Cyrus and Kesha infatuation.

She has it so loud that I almost want to break Alice's number one rule while in her car, never fuck with her stereo. Thankfully we're almost there. I think my ears can handle a couple more minutes of torture, or at least I hope so. It's not the music I have a problem with, I like pretty much everything. I didn't even mind the Miley Cyrus the first twenty times I heard it; it's the volume she plays the shit at that bothers me.

I thought my car had the loudest system I had ever heard, after Edward decided to steal my car when I first got it and pimp out my sound system for my early birthday gift. Believe me, my shit seriously knocks the whole fucking car, it shakes when I turn it up all the way. I really didn't think they could make anything that went louder than mine, but that was until Alice got her Lambo.

I'm pulled from my thoughts, when Alice parks in front of Edward's house. Thank god! I think my ear drums might have burst if I was subjected to this shit for another second.

I get out of the car, Alice following my lead. I notice another car that I have never seen before, parked right in front of us and it's blocking some of Edward's driveway. I look up and see that his front door is wide open as well. Alice comes to stand next to me, looking just as confused as I feel.

The confusion doesn't last long. When I'm about to go and figure out what the fuck is going on in there, Edward walks out with that fucking whore; the one that I brought within inches of her life about six months ago, and she is in his arms.

That bitch notices me immediately, Edward doesn't. Before I can say a single word or make a move, they start fucking making on each other. That dirty fucking tramp has her disgusting hands fisted in Edward's hair. My hair, I think over and over again, even though I know he's not actually mine. Edward then brings his hands up to her face fusing them together.

I can't breathe, I can't think. I honestly feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I know Edward does shit with other women and that we're not together, but seeing him kiss someone else, let alone this fucking cunt; I can't fucking handle it.

When they break apart, Edward finally notices that I have witnessed what just happened between the two of them. He instantly shows a look of remorse upon his face, but it's too late ,the damage has already been done. My mind is no longer sane; my body goes on auto pilot and I no longer have any control over my actions.

I completely blank the fuck out. Before I can stop myself, I have that dirty, fake, blonde, fucking whore on the ground, straddling her around the waist. I'm choking her fucking ass and pounding her worthless head into the concrete, while screaming as loud as I can at her.

"I gave you a fair warning bitch; do you understand I'm going to have to fucking kill your ass now? You should have just stayed the fuck away. I wasn't playing with you, tramp."

My statement sounds crazed, even to me, but I can't stop the rage that has taken over. I can see the fear, clear as day, on this bitch's face and I feed off that shit. I guess she didn't take me seriously; well she should have. I don't make threats, only promises that I never break.

I keep my grip around her neck, even though the brain dead bitch is struggling to get free. This bitch is out of her fucking mind, if she thinks I'm letting her go this time.

As the whore starts to go limp under me and her head is starting to bleed out, I feel a strong pair of arms pry me off of her before I can get the job done. I can tell without a doubt that it's Edward who has me in his tight embrace. I feel my sanity come back to me at once, along with the horror for what I almost just did to this disobedient ass bitch.

I'm still coming down from my out of body experience, when I hear Edward speaking softly in my ear.

"Please calm down Bella. She's not even worth it. That bitch doesn't mean shit to me, I don't want her, I swear. All I want is you; it's always been you baby."

All. Fucking. Lies!

I know the statement he just made was meant to calm me down, but all it does is piss me off further. The only thing I comprehend from what he just said to me is he's trying to protect that cum guzzling slut. With as much force as my body can muster, I push this piece of shit asshole the fuck off of me and give him a piece of my mind.

"Edward, get the fuck off of me! Don't fucking touch me, you don't get to do that ever fucking again. I'm really done this time; I can't do this with you anymore. I don't even know why you're bothering with me; it's obvious you already chose that cock sucker over your best friend. Go help that bitch, since you just couldn't handle staying away from her, even for me. Besides you're a doctor and she really looks like she may need your help this time."

By the time I finish screaming at him, I'm crying like a fucking baby.

Edward looks more hurt than I have ever seen him during the whole time we have been friends. Good, because I'm pretty fucking hurt my God-damned self.

Apparently he didn't hear me right, because he tries to take a step towards me and wipe my tears that are falling freely now. I mirror him, stepping back at the same time he does, grabbing his hand and gripping it tightly with all my strength before he can touch me.

"Did you not fucking hear me, you piece of shit? I. Said. Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me! Go help your fucking girlfriend! I'm just going to get my keys, and then I'll be gone and leave you two, to it." I sob angrily, through clenched teeth.

I know he wants to say something to me, but thinks the better of it. Smart boy; I'm in no mood to hear any of his bullshit right now.

I turn on my heal dismissing the asshole in front of me to go get my keys out of the house. I see a stunned Alice standing there, gapping at me for the second time today. I had completely forgotten she was here during my fit of anger.

I give her a look as if to say 'sorry you just had to see me go temporarily insane'; she returns it with a look of pure sadness and pity for me. I can take anything but pity, so she can save that shit for someone else.

Not being able to stand this situation any longer, I continue on my mission to get my keys and get the fuck out of here.

I make sure to shoulder check Edward, when I make my way by him to go inside. I put so much force into it that it makes him stumble.

The trip through Edward's house to his bedroom is short at the pace I set for myself. I find my keys on the bedside table, right where I left them the night before, with my purse along side of them.

The trip back outside after gathering my things is even faster, being that I'm almost running now. I need to get the fuck out of here before I have a complete meltdown.

The first thing I take note of when I get to the door is that Edward actually took my advice for once, even though I hardly meant it. He's kneeled over the dumb crying bitch that just got her ass handed to her by me. He is in full doctor mode trying to assess her needs after my attack, it would be sexy if this situation wasn't so fucked.

Alice is pacing back and forth by her car talking on her phone. She is talking at such a speed that I have no clue what she's even saying, even though she is damn near yelling into the phone.

I make my way past the scene almost unnoticed, until Edward hears the jingle of my keys. His head snaps up to meet my gaze; I can clearly see the pleading in his eyes. I don't know what he is pleading for and I don't plan to stick around long enough to find out.

I stop any reasoning he is about to come at me with. Holding up my middle finger and adding a swift verbal "FUCK YOU" to go along with it; just in case the dumb-fuck doesn't get the point I was trying to make with my finger, as I walk past him and the cock sucker that's still on the ground next to him.

Alice hearing my 'fuck you' to her brother, finally comes out of her frantic phone conversation and starts to run towards me. I hold up my hand to her in a gesture for her stop her movements, and dismiss her a lot nicer than I just did to Assward, while mumbling a "Please, not now Alice." She accepts my request, stopping immediately as does her brother, they both know it's not a good idea to defy me with the mind set I'm in at the moment.

Keeping my quick pace, I divert my eye's from the scene that I'm passing by in my haste, only looking at my car that's now in front of me. I focus all of my attention on my keys as I hit the buttons to unlock and remote start my car. I quickly make my way to the driver's side door and take off like a bat out of hell, once I get my key into the ignition and slap it into drive.

I weave in and out of traffic, at a faster speed than even Alice drives at. My vision is slightly blurry from my silent tears that never stopped flowing. Surprisingly enough, I don't get pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving or for speeding.

I make it to my condo in record time, parking my car like a mad woman. I know for sure my neighbors are going to think I'm nuts, after hearing the screeching of my tires and seeing my fucked up parking job, but I don't give a shit; I'm in the process of having a grown woman tantrum right now. I quickly lock up my car with a push of a button after I hop out, and make my way up the steps to my safe harbor.

After opening the door, I go straight to the bedroom flopping on my bed in a belly flop motion. I finally let the hysterics loose, fisting my bedding as hard as I can.

After about forty-five minutes of screaming, crying and abusing my innocent bed, I feel my boob vibrating. I completely forgot that I had stashed my phone in the top of this ridiculous dress Alice put me in. And I can't believe it actually stayed put in the built in bra, through the scuffle I just ran away from. I really have to give more credit to Alice for her genius designs.

I can make out that it's Edward's stupid ring tone that he set on my phone a couple of weeks ago.

**_I'm on this liquor, oh so heavy._**

**_'fo we fuck, can you neck me?_**

**_A lil' head, and I am ready._**

**_I want yo mouth, give me that Becky._**

Hearing that shit right now actually makes me laugh a little, thinking about the first time Edward called me after setting that ring tone on my phone for himself; although it was anything but funny at the time.

_I was busy heading a staff meeting at my restaurant. Out of nowhere, in the middle of my lecture to my employees about responsibility, that shit blasts from my phone, loud as fuck. Everyone got a good laugh at my expense, except for myself; I was livid and embarrassed as fuck._

After prying my phone out from my boob, I see that it is only a text message.

**Bells, are you ok? -E**

I'm really not in the mood for this shit-fuck retard right now. I send him a response, because I know he won't leave me the fuck alone until I answer him, and even then, he's still most likely not going to.

**I'm fine. Just please leave me the fuck alone 4 now. It's obvious u don't give a shit anyway asshole. -B**

Hopefully that will get his stupid ass to leave me alone for now.

Obviously we're going to get through this shit at some point; we always do. As of right now, I'm not ready to deal with Shitward.

It's fucking obvious that we're way too co-dependent on each other. If I'm being honest, it's more like a seriously scary addiction that we have going on. Something needs to change, we can't keep doing this shit the way we have been going. I want things back to normal, the way they used to be back in high school when everything was so easy for us.

Fuck! Why can't I ever do anything right when it comes to Edward? Why the fuck did I put us in this position? What the fuck am I going to do now? I question myself, already knowing the answers, but being too stubborn to admit them.

God, I need some fucking therapy or something; I'm seriously fucked up in the head. It really wouldn't hurt either, to do something about this fucking anger problem that I obviously have. I seriously just tried to fucking kill someone, out of pure jealousy. Fuck therapy, I need to be locked up in the fucking looney bin.

All these lucid thoughts are making me feel guilty and I fucking hate feeling guilty. I need to fix this, but I have no fucking idea how I'm supposed do that. I guess it would be good to start somewhere. It's probably best, for Edward and me, to give each other some space for now.

I could never just cut him off for any reason, that's not even an option for me. The one thing that has to stop though is this 'friends with benefits' thing that I started. It's not getting us anywhere, we were way better off as best friends. The question is, am I strong enough to follow through with it? That man owns my body, I can't get off properly without him being the one doing it. This shit is going to be really fucking hard but I'm going to have to do it, it's the only way. I can't keep holding him back like this.

The only reason he's still on the market is because of me and my relationship 'phobia'. If I could just be fucking happy with someone and settle down without the fear of fucking up their life, he could as well. He wouldn't have to so feel guilty about hurting me anymore; he could finally commit himself to whomever it is that he really wants.

Fuck! Sometimes I just really fucking hate my parents; they did a really good job at fucking me up mentally and emotionally.

When I moved in with Charlie, I could tell he was only a shell of a man, even though he tried not to show it around me. It was so fucking hard watching him deal with it every day. He was never able to get over my mom; she fucking broke that man to pieces and never had any remorse for doing so. When I moved in, he still had their fucking wedding pictures up for fuck's sake.

As for my mother, don't even get me fucking started on her. She's a crazy fucking bitch; there, I finally admitted it to myself. I'm way past making excuses for her neurotic behavior. Bottom line, she's just a crazy man eater and I am fucking terrified that I'm going to end up like her, never satisfied.

**_I'm on this liquor, oh so heavy._**

**_'fo we fuck, can you neck me?_**

**_A lil' head, and I am ready._**

_**I want yo mouth, give me that Becky**._

Jesus fucking Christ, why can't he just leave me be? All I want to do is fucking wallow, is that too much for this shit brick to understand? It's another fucking text; I may as well just see what he wants.

**R U FUCKING SHITTING ME? I DON'T CARE? REALLY BELLA? I just spent the last hour tryin 2 convince that psyco bitch not 2 call the police n press charges on ur ass! -E**

Honestly, like I really fucking care anymore; he should have just let her fucking do it. That's probably where I belong anyway. I wish Edward would just realize that I'm not worth the trouble I cause him.

**_I'm on this liquor, oh so heavy._**

**_'fo we fuck, can you neck me?_**

**_A lil' head, and I am ready._**

**_I want yo mouth, give me that Becky._**

Damn this motherfucker didn't even give me time to think of a reply, let alone send one.

**Bella stop being a bitch about this, I swear on my mom I didn't call her, she just showed up. Please can I just cum c u so we can talk about this? -E**

**U should have let her, I deserve it. It's none of my business what u do anyway, so save it. I'm really not mad at u. I think we just need some time apart for now. -B**

Well I guess I can add being a liar to my resume, because that was a big one. Unfortunately it was very fucking necessary if I'm going to follow through with this 'get things back the way they used to' shit.

I am mad; I'm fucking livid about what just took place a little over an hour ago, but I can't let him know that. Seeing him with that cock sucker just about broke me, but why? I have never been able to understand my feelings toward Edward; it confuses me to no end.

Time apart is the last thing I want; I don't even know if I can handle my own demand. It's fucking sick but I need that asshole to function. I don't have a choice however; this has to happen if I want the easy relationship with my best friend back.

When I first mentioned the idea of us having sex to Edward, he was hesitant at first knowing that he would be taking my virginity. He was positive I would end up regretting it when we got to college, thinking that I would find someone else there that I would rather have deflower me.

That's one decision I've made that I can never regret, even though that was the catalyst that got us into this whole fucked up mess, which I now intend to fix. Edward is special and the thought of anyone else in this world taking what I gave to him, makes me sick to my stomach.

Am I really going to be able to handle it when he finds the one for him? What about when he marries that bitch and has kids with her?

Absolutely not, most likely I'm going to throw a huge bitch fit and probably try to run the cunt off. Without a doubt I'm going to hate her; she is obviously going to be perfect, because Edward deserves nothing less than perfect and that's just something I can never be.

Admitting that to myself sends me into a complete fucking panic. Just. Fucking. Great. Just when I start to get my emotions somewhat in check, I'm fucking hysterical again.

Would Edward forget about me when he eventually finds her? Will he just leave me in the dust? I'm pretty fucking positive his future wife is not going to want him having any contact with his slightly insane best friend; the same friend that he casually banged for the last nine years.

It doesn't matter what I do, either way I'm fucked. I just can't fucking win.

**_I'm on this liquor, oh so heavy._**

**_'fo we fuck, can you neck me?_**

**_A lil' head, and I am ready._**

**_I want yo mouth, give me that Becky._**

Fuck. My. Life!!! For the love of all that's holy, why can't this fucker just let me be? I really want to turn off my phone and ignore whatever this fucktard has to say. I can't though; curiosity always gets the best of me.

**Don't u even try 2 go all noble on me now! Ur out of ur fucking mind if u think I'm just gonna back off n give u space. I swear B, I'm so fuckin close 2 comin upside ur head n knockin sum sense into ur dum ass. -E**

Now I'm fucking pissed, who the fuck does he think he is? I'm doing this shit for him, so his retarded ass can be happy.

**Yes Edward u will give me space. We both need it. And sense? I got plenty. I finally c what I need 2 do 2 fix this shit. So just let it b, b4 I end up cutting off ur dick n shoving it up ur ass fuck-face. -B**

I hope he gets the point, but knowing Edward, he probably won't. I need to prepare myself; I'm sure he's already thinking of ways to crack my resistance; he's damn good at it too. I can't let him though, I have to do this; it's our only hope to salvage our friendship.

**_I'm on this liquor, oh so heavy._**

**_'fo we fuck, can you neck me?_**

**_A lil' head, and I am ready._**

**_I want yo mouth, give me that Becky._**

Yup, I was right. I knew he wouldn't let me off that easy.

"After I see what he has to say, I may grant him with a response if necessary. Then I'm going to turn this shitty piece of technology off, get off this bed, hop in the shower and figure out how I'm going to get my sad excuse for a life back on track," I say out loud to myself. Maybe I'll start to believe that I can actually follow through with this shit.

**WTF r u talkin about? U don't have anything 2 fix. I'm not givin u space so u can fuck off, u don't scare me. I know u luv my dick 2 much 2 do that anyway. -E**

This cocky son of a bitch, no offence to Esme, I love her. He just doesn't know when to fucking stop. How can he not see how wrong all this shit is?

I'm sticking to the plan. I'll send him a response because he needs to know that things are not fine. What we have been doing is not fine and it has to fucking stop. I refuse to fucking cave and I'm definitely turning this shit off afterward, to ensure that I don't give in.

**I'm talkin about this friends w/ benefits thing, it has to stop. I can't do this anymore, I want my bff back. Please just let it b, it's 4 the best. I can't keep holding u back 2. -B**

After it's sent, I almost regret it. A part of me wants to take it back. I can't though; I know it's for the best. I need to know what life is like without Edward being my everything, and he needs to know that as well.

Turning my phone off is harder than I thought, but I do it. I want to see what he says to that; I want him to deny me what I'm asking for. I can feel myself starting to break again. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, I think over and over again to myself as I get off my bed and make my way to the bathroom to take a shower.

I really hope I'm doing the right thing, and that everything eventually works out to be the way it's supposed to be. I'm not even thirty minutes into my decision and I already want to give in.

Yeah, this is definitely going to really fucking hard. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Fuck. My. Life!

**A/N**

I have a lot of readers and very few reviewers, so I have come up with a idea that may give you some incentive to review. To my readers that review, I will send you a preview of the next chapter. I think that's fair enough... **  
**


	7. Assuming Bitch

**A/N**

Thanks for all the reviews, I fucking love them. I have to say my readers are the best. I'm offering the same deal with this Chapter; if you review I'll send you a preview of the next Chapter. I know everyone is starting to get a little irritated with Bella, me too! Let's hope she can get her shit together soon. Thank you melonscraps for being a great BETA and friend; your fucking wonderful, Love you. Thanx, MamaMel.

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 7: Assuming Bitch

**Bella's (POV)**

I wake up to someone abusing my doorbell while banging on my door. Jesus. Don't people have any sort of manners anymore? What the fuck time is it anyway?

A quick glance at the clock on my bedside table tells me that it is three in the morning. Who the fuck would be at my door, at three in the fucking morning?

God damn it! I only know one person retarded enough that he would be on my doorstep, at this time, banging his little heart out. This is not going to be good!

Why me? I swear I hate my fucking life sometimes. I heave myself out of bed, so I can get this asshole to leave, before someone calls the police on his ass.

When I make it to the front door, I know for sure that my suspicions are correct, it's Edward. I guess banging on the door with his fist is out of the question, because now that I'm standing this close, I can tell he's kicking the shit out my door while still ringing that fucking bell.

Confirming my suspicions even more, I can hear Edward yell, or more like slur at a high volume, "Mind your own fuck-hole you prick, this is none of your god damn business." I can only assume he is talking to one of my neighbors, probably telling him to take his crazy and most likely drunk ass home.

What the fuck is Edward's fucking problem? Why does he always have to make shit way fucking harder than it needs to be?

I guess I should just nip this shit in the butt right now, if want my fucking answers and to keep him out of jail. God knows it would be so much easier if I could just avoid this part somehow, but I have learned very recently that avoidance doesn't get you anywhere. So against my better judgment, I unlock the door to let him in.

When I open the door completely, Edward looks surprised that I'm actually letting him in. He gives me that crooked fucking smile that makes my panties instantly wet and I just want to fuck the shit out of him.

'No, bad Bella, you have to focus', mentally scolding my dirty thoughts.

"Hey babe, I didn't think you were going to let me in. I thought I was going to be out here all night and have to beat the shit out of the asshole next door." He greets me, while walking up to me and placing a tender kiss on my cheek.

Yeah, he is definitely drunk. If the obnoxious behavior and the half lidded eyes weren't enough of a clue, the smell coming off of him would be. Edward smells like Vodka and cigarettes, it makes me want to gag but I ignore it so I can get to the bottom of this shit.

"Edward, why are you drunk and banging on my door while trying to start a fight with my neighbor at three in the fucking morning?" I question him while trying to keep a serious look on my face; it's really hard though. I just want to cry and then laugh at his drunk ass and his fucked up forehead.

"Bella baby, I had to see you. You turned your phone off and I couldn't take it, I told you I wouldn't be able to give you space. Your eyes are all puffy and red; please don't cry over me anymore. I promise I'll make it better." He answers in a slur, avoiding my questions about why he is drunk and trying to pick fights.

This is becoming too much for me, my emotions are still all fucked up. I need to get him out of here, before I turn into a blubbering mess again.

"Edward, we really do need space. You can't just show up here like this, because you want to see me. We have become way too dependent on one another. We need to get our shit together; we're both getting close to thirty and all we do is enable each other to be this way. I'm not saying that we have to stop being friends, or spending time together, we just have to do it the right way from now on. So I think it would be best for you to go home; I'll call you a cab and you can wait here until it comes." I finish my little speech, feeling more confident that I am in fact doing the right thing for us, by stopping this co-dependent lifestyle we have become accustomed to.

Edward still hasn't moved from his position, standing in front of me. When I look up at him, it breaks my heart to see the defeated look on his face. I finally get the courage to look him in the eye and his beautiful green eyes are slowly filling up with unshed tears. Fuck, I can't deal with a crying Edward.

The way he is looking at me, I can tell he's searching for something within me. It feels like he is literally looking into my heart and soul, trying to find something that may not be there. It's so intense that I have to look away.

The uncomfortable silence and his penetrating gaze are driving me insane, but since he won't say anything I guess I'm going to have to.

"What?" I question.

Great job Bella, you couldn't come up with anything better than 'what'? I mentally berate myself, while Edward is still silent, as if he didn't hear me.

After another couple minutes of silence, out of nowhere he speaks. I wasn't expecting it so it scared the shit out of me, making me jump a little.

"If you want me to leave, then tell me that you don't love me. That's all you have to do and I'll stop complicating your life."

I try to interrupt him there, but he holds up a hand to me, indicating for me to shut my fucking mouth. When I see the built up tears start to fall from his eyes, my own silent tears start to fall as well.

"For once, can you just let me finish? Please Bella, I need to explain, then you can say whatever you want."

He pauses for a minute, taking some deep breaths, trying to work up some determination to tell me whatever the fuck is on his mind.

"I fucking love you Isabella Marie Swan, I always have; and me, being the unlucky bastard I am, I always will love you even if you don't feel the same. I understand I fucked up really bad this time, that bitch should have never been in my house. Please believe me when I tell you, that I never called her and I didn't ask her to come over, she just showed up. I tried to get her out, I swear. She just walked right in when I opened the door, and took her clothes off. I…I let her give me a hand job, I am sorry; so sorry, you don't even know. I promise you, I didn't let that bitch finish; it just felt too wrong. I got her shit, dragged her out of the house and when I was about to toss her ass out on the curb, she just started fucking kissing me. I tried to pry her the fuck off, but that cock sucker had a serious kung fu grip on me. She didn't let go, until I bit the shit out of her tongue. I know that's no excuse, but it's what really happened. I'm sorry I hurt you and I hate myself for hurting you."

I have no idea what to even say to that shit; I'm fucking speechless. I want to tell him it doesn't matter anyway, that he doesn't have to explain anything to me. I know the only reason he feels this bad, is because his actions hurt me. I have never seen Edward look so scared and unsure of himself in all the time I have known him. I have only known him to be a loving, cocky, asshole that can fuck like nobody's business. This Edward is kind of freaking me out.

I can feel him staring at me, waiting for me to say something in response to his confession. My thoughts are all jumbled, but one thing I know for sure is that I can't tell him I don't love him. I have always loved him, I just can't tell what kind of love it is.

What the fuck is he trying to tell me, through his drunken rambling? Shit, I'm so fucking confused.

The only thing I can do now is stall my response because I am done avoiding this shit. I just can't deal with it right now. Yeah, that's the best I can do for now, since my brain is gone on vacation.

"C'mon Edward, I'll make you some coffee and something to eat. I think we should have this conversation when you're not drunk and I'm not so fucking tired," I offer, giving him a small smile.

At first, I think he is going to try to argue with me and tell me that he is fine to have this conversation, but then decides to let it go. He looks a little more confident now, that I didn't give him the boot yet, but not exactly thrilled at the fact that I haven't invited him to stay over for a slumber party.

After closing and locking my front door, I turn on my heel to make my way to the kitchen, with Edward following behind me.

Edward stays silent with his eyes transfixed on the floor, looking extremely deep in thought, while I cook him some pancakes, sausage and eggs.

An hour later, after Edward finishes five pancakes, six sausages, three eggs and two cups of coffee, he looks sober for the most part. The whole time I was cooking he didn't say one word to me. While he was eating he only offered a quiet 'thank you, it's delicious as always' and a 'yes please' when I asked him if he wanted more coffee.

I can't stand seeing him like this; he looks lifeless, like he just lost his reason for living. I just wish I knew what that was and how to make it better.

While I'm cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, deep in my thoughts, Edward comes up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. Surprised and caught off guard by the sudden contact, I reflexively flinch away.

Edward takes it the wrong way, thinking I don't want him to touch me, and immediately released his hold while quickly hiding the pained look on his face. I want to grab him and pull him back against me, but I think better of it. He comes to stand next to me instead, with his back against the counter, staring off into space.

"So Bells, where do we go from here?" he questions, in a voice that sounds void of any emotion.

Answering in a tone similar to his, "Honestly Edward, I don't know. All I do know right now is that we need to make some serious changes, starting by correcting all the mistakes we have made in the last nine years."

All that seems to do is make him angry. His posture goes rigid and an intense scowl takes over his previously emotion free face. Edward's growing crazed maniac look is starting to scare the shit out of me.

Before I have the chance to backtrack in an attempt to figure out what has him so pissed off, he enlightens me, by pushing himself off the counter to get in my face and shout at me.

"What the fuck? Are you fucking serious Bella? Is that all I am to you, a fucking mistake? I fucking told your stupid ass when you came to me with the idea of us fucking, that you were going to regret it eventually! Well you know what Bella? I don't fucking regret it, not one fucking bit. With you, those are the best fucking memories I have."

Now I'm fucking angry, how dare he take words out of my fucking mouth!

"You need to get one fucking thing straight asshole, you have never, nor will you ever be a mistake to me. That is not what I was talking about; I don't regret having sex with you, at all! Continuing with it in the manner that we have, that was the mistake." I scream back at Edward, while poking him in the chest repeatedly with my finger.

I can tell he still doesn't get it. How can he not see this shit is killing me as well? I feel like I'm losing the person I care most about in this fucked up world.

"So what the fuck is it then? Why now? What, are you just tired of my dick or something? Because none of this shit makes any sense to me…" Edward trails off calmly, looking even more defeated then before.

That. Is. It. I have to make him understand my reasoning, or else he's just going to keep blaming all of this on himself.

"Edward, all this shit is completely my fault, only I'm just now realizing it. What happened just put all of it into perspective for me. I keep holding you back from life, because I'm scared and I can't seem to get my shit together. You don't have to feel sorry for me anymore; I'm really going to try to get it together. I have no right to be mad at you, what you do is your business. All I want is my best friend from high school back, before everything got so complicated between us and before we overstepped too many boundaries" I declare, almost in tears again.

I hope that now he can better understand what I'm trying to do for him-I'm setting him free.

Again, apparently my words have the opposite effect than I intended them to, because all remnants of calm are gone and he's even more livid than before.

Edward grabs the tops of my shoulders and pulls me face to face with him; I notice he has a deadly look in his eyes that I have never seen in him before.

"So what your trying to fucking tell me is, you think you're fucking holding me back from something, like your some sort of obligation to me? The last time I checked your name isn't Esme, you're not my fucking mother Bella. I can make my own damn choices, but now you're taking that away from me too. You got your head so far up your ass that you can't see what's been right in front of your fucking face this whole time. News flash Bella, I'm not seventeen anymore. That best friend you had in high school, the one you're talking about, there's no getting him back. He is long fucking gone now; as a matter of fact, he's been gone since the first time I stuck my dick in you. So. Good. Fucking. Luck, you assuming bitch!" He growls out through clenched teeth.

The grip Edward has on my shoulders is too tight and is starting to become painful, he notices and lets me go, taking a step back.

I am finally able to process the harsh words he just said to me. They hit me like a ton of bricks and I can't hold back the tears anymore. I fall to my knees when my legs can't hold me up anymore, sobbing hysterically into my hands. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I try to fix something, I just end up fucking things up even more.

"So you're just going to sit there and cry? Is the truth too much for you to handle?" Edward questions me.

All I can sniffle out between sobs is a weak "I'm so sorry."

"Maybe you should figure out what's best for you, before you go deciding what's best for other people. I'm done, let me know when you get your shit together and figure out what you really want from me" he declares, sounding unsure in a small shaky voice and I can tell without looking up that he's crying too.

I can hear Edward approaching me through my sobs. When he's in front of me he bends down, kisses the top of my head and whispers "I love you Bella, always" softly in my ear. I know this is his way of saying goodbye.

My sobs get louder, when I hear him get up and leave the room. Now that he is giving me what I want, i don't want it anymore. The sound of the front door opening sends me into a frenzy of screaming, "Please don't leave, I'm so fucking sorry" at the top of my lungs. I am so loud it actually hurts my chest.

"I'm sorry too, for everything, but I have to go. Space is what you wanted, so I'm giving it to you" he responds to my plea in a lifeless voice.

When the door slams shut, I know Edward is gone and he's not coming back anytime soon. I think I'm going to be sick. I barely have enough time to push myself off of the floor and make it to the sink, before I'm vomiting violently.

Five minutes later, my stomach is empty but I can't get rid of this sick feeling inside of me.

After a shower and brushing my teeth, it is six in the morning. The tears never stopped, there is only one person that can make it better and he is gone because of me, I pushed him away.

My bed doesn't provide me the peace and comfort I was hoping it would. I'm beyond tired, I am fucking downright exhausted, but I still can't seem to find sleep. The thoughts that are running through my head won't stop, because in shorter than a twenty-four hour period, my life has been flipped upside down.

Edward was right, I am an assuming bitch. I never once thought to ask him what he wanted; I only assumed that I knew what was best for him, when I made this decision for us.

What the fuck does he want from me?

I can't see Edward wanting to be my boyfriend. We have had the 'relationship' talk before, but I would always try to avoid it like the plague. I didn't want to hear his rejection and if for some crazy reason he wanted me like that, I would be way too scared of hurting him the way my mom did to my dad. In the end, we always agreed that it was best for our friendship, not to get into anything more serious. Edward Cullen can have any woman he wants, so I have no idea why he would even choose me. Besides, he already had me without all the commitment bullshit.

That must be it then; he just wants to keep things the way that we had them, fuck buddies. That's the only way I can explain his reaction to me, trying to give him what I thought he was too afraid to ask for.

I don't think I can give him that anymore. I still think it's best to salvage what's left of our friendship, even though Edward seems to think it won't be the same, that he's not same. He is probably right, but I have to at least try. We can't be friends with benefits forever; it has to stop sometime and in this case sooner is better than later.

Now that I'm pretty sure I know what Edward wants from me and how I need to handle it, I have to think about what I want for myself. Fuck, what do I want for myself? Even now, I have no fucking idea.

I never really put much thought into having a husband and children, the things most women dream about since they were little girls. I've been too focused on my restaurant, making sure I did my best to make it successful and of course Edward. There have been a few other guys along the way, but nothing serious; mostly drunken one night stands when Edward was being a prick.

Looking back, I realize that I do in fact have a serious relationship phobia. I absolutely need to get over that if I don't want to become 'the crazy lady, down the street with all the animals'. Yeah, I really need therapy if I'm going to work out all of my issues.

Feeling a little bit better, now that I have some things worked out and have a better perspective, I fall asleep without another thought.

I'm startled out of my slumber and I am now having a serious case of déjà vu. There is someone pounding on the door while ringing the fuck out of my doorbell, again.

Just like the last time, I glance at the clock to see what time it is. It's three, I start freaking out thinking I'm living some real life 'groundhog day' shit. There is no way I can handle dealing with a repeat of that bullshit anytime soon.

I take a closer look at the clock to make sure I'm not completely loosing it. I am relieved to notice it says PM and not AM.

I get up to peek out of my curtains that keep my room black, no matter what time it is, just to make sure it's light outside. Luckily, it is, thank God.

I get nervous walking to the door. If it's Edward, I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. I don't want to fight; there was enough of that this morning.

I am definitely finding a way to disconnect that fucking doorbell as soon as possible, it's still fucking ringing along with the pounding and I'm starting to get a headache. When I approach the door, I notice Edward must have locked the bottom lock before he left, because it's locked and I just realized that I forgot to lock it before I fell asleep. I guess he still cares after all.

Taking a deep breath, I turn the little button on the doorknob to unlock it, and slowly open the door expecting to find an angry Edward behind it. I'm relieved that it isn't him, but scared and a little irritated when I find it was the little pixie bitch this time.

What the fuck is wrong with this family?

I know for a fact that Esme brought them up with manners, so they should know it's really fucking rude to bang on someone's door over and over while ringing the bell repeatedly.

Alice tries to smile at me but it doesn't reach her eyes so I know she's faking it for my sake.

"Damn girl, you look like shit" she greets me while inviting herself in, closing the door behind her.

"I'm sure I do. I feel like shit, but I think anyone would if they went through what I have in the past twenty-four hours." I feel I must defend the jab about my appearance.

Alice gives me a shrug of agreement before almost bringing me to the ground with one of her forceful but comforting hugs. She rubs my back as if I'm a child while chanting, "It's going to be okay sweetie, I promise."

Those simple and comforting words reopen the flood gates I worked so hard to close. Now I'm crying into Alice's shoulder and I have to bend at a uncomfortable angle to do so, because she is so damn short.

After a few minutes I break away from her embrace and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand; I'm so tired of crying.

When I look at Alice, her features show nothing but concern for me and she looks really tired. I hope it's not because of Edward and me, but I'm pretty sure it is. I feel even shittier now; our problems are starting to affect other people's lives too. This whole fucking thing has turned into a giant cluster fuck.

"I'm so sorry Alice; I don't want this shit affecting you too. Please don't worry about me, I can handle it" I mumble, feeling guilty.

"You have nothing to be sorry for and no matter what you want, it's going to affect me regardless; you're like my sister and Edward is my brother. But, seriously Bella, have you seen yourself? You obviously can't handle it, so I'm going to worry about your ass. Now let's stop standing here like a couple of morons, make some coffee and figure this shit out" she responds, while grabbing my hand and dragging me into the kitchen.

I decide on some herbal tea for myself my stomach still isn't feeling that great and make some coffee for Alice. When we both have our hot beverages, I decide the couch is the appropriate place to get comfortable, because I can already tell this is going to take a while.

After we are both comfortable, Alice sets down her steamy cup on the coffee table and faces me with her business face on. Oh shit, fuck me, I'm in trouble now.

"So," Alice starts out casually, with a sheepish look on her face.

"So," I mimic her, feeling defeated already. "Do you want to start or shall I?" I asked, because I know when you're dealing with Alice, it's best to just get straight to the point.

"You can start, this is your problem after all. I'm just here to listen and help if I can."

I sighed. "What would you like to know?"

"What happened with you and Edward after you left yesterday?"

"Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that out. I told Edward it would be best if we give each other some space for now and that we have to stop having sex." I blurt out, instantly embarrassed about being so forward, talking about my sex life with her brother. Alice isn't stupid, she knows what's up, but it's still really fucking embarrassing. I know I'm bright red because not only do I feel the heat coming off my face, but I hear Alice chuckle at me.

"Fuck you, don't laugh at me. You wanted to know" I reminded her. "But he came over at three this morning, drunk, screaming at my neighbor and then screamed at me after I fed him."

"So I'm assuming that's why he looks just as bad as you do?" My attention peaks at the mention of Edward taking all this as horribly as I am. Alice notices, but I urge her on with my eyes to elaborate. "I went over there before I came here."

"And?" I fucking need answers damn it, she knows this and is being vague on purpose.

"He's doing the same exact thing you are, drowning himself in a river of self pity."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Can you be just a little more specific, please?" I grumble trying to get my point across, I'm in no mood for these fucking games.

"Fuck Bella, chill alright. I see those mood swings are still getting the best of you." I do not understand the knowing look in her eye one fucking bit. "He didn't say much, just the usual, 'get the fuck out Alice' and 'it's none of your fucking business you little pixie bitch', but the way he looked was enough to say a million words. The poor fuck was curled up on the couch in the fetal position, with red puffy eyes. You have my brother so whipped; it would be funny if this whole situation wasn't so fucked. So when are you going to tell him?"

What the fuck is she talking about? I'm even more confused now.

"Edward isn't whipped; it's not like that Alice" I sigh, almost wishing it was. "And what do you mean? Tell him what?"

"That you're in love with him too, so you both can be put out of your misery and finally be happy."

I'm so surprised I spit out the sip of tea that was in my mouth some of it coming out of my nose, spraying all over the couch. Once I recover, Alice continues.

"And yes, it is like that, Edward has been in love with you since forever. I still don't understand how you haven't figured it out after all this time."

"No Alice, you're wrong, that's impossible." I shake my head so fast, I almost give myself whiplash.

"Think what you want to think Bella, but I'm never wrong, you should know that by now." Speaking more quietly, Alice adds, "I know you're in love with him too, even though I don't think you even realize it yet."

That makes me freeze the fuck up. If I thought I was confused before, I don't even know what the fuck I am now. Shit. Am I in love with Edward? Does it even matter if I am?

Regardless of what Alice thinks, Edward can't be in love with me, I know he loves me but not in that way. I have absolutely nothing to offer him.

"Bella I can tell what you're thinking and you need to stop it now!" Alice startles me out of my thoughts and I almost forgot she was here for a second. "For some stupid reason, you don't think you're good enough for my brother and that's just ridiculous. You are perfect for him, you always have been, and even he knows that." She trails off with so much conviction, I start to believe her.

"Even if your right, it doesn't matter, I'm not good for him" I say in a whisper, mostly to myself. I can feel the tears start to roll silently down my cheeks at my admission.

I finally start to understand what Edward meant this morning, when he was talking about what's been if front of my face this whole time. Everything makes so much more sense to me now. If this is the case and Alice is right about Edward, I can't risk the chance that I'll end up destroying him and our friendship, or what's left of it at this point.

"Bella, look at me" Alice says with authority. I follow her command and see that she has a fierce look of determination on her face. "What in the world makes you think that you're not good for him?"

"Everything Alice, look at me! I'm plain and he's perfect, I could never be his equal. What if it doesn't end up working out for us? Do you know what will happen? It will ruin our friendship and I can't take that chance, Edward is too important to me."

"So you're just going to let your soul mate go, because you're scared? None of your reasons are a valid excuse for that. I understand you're afraid because of what your mom put your dad through, but you can't let that shit control your life. You are not your mother. Do you want to be single and alone for the rest of your life?" Alice sounds somewhat bored with my defiance and she huffs at me.

That's it, I can't take anymore. I know I have things I need to fix and I will, but I don't need her sitting here and rubbing that shit in my face.

"Look, can we just drop it for now? I understand that you're only trying to help, but I just need a break, I've already had too much to deal with this weekend." I can tell Alice wants to keep going until I cave and she wins, so I use my eyes to beg with her adding "please Alice" accompanied with my best pout. It works, thank God; usually I don't get off that easy.

Alice grumbles out a irritated "fine" and adds more cheerfully, "don't get too excited yet, this isn't over Bella, we will be discussing this again when you're feeling better. It is my duty after all, being your future sister in-law, that I don't let you ruin your life for stupid reasons." She looks me dead in the eye daring me to argue with her.

Huh, maybe Edward is right, there may be a chance that Alice is smoking crack. Edward and I getting married, that's almost laughable. Even if he is in love with me like Alice says, I'm almost positive he wouldn't want to marry me.

When I don't argue or respond in any way to Alice's comment, she gives me a very smug look, pats my head and says, "Good girl, you're finally learning." I flip her off in response and she laughs at me.

What the fuck am I to her? A dog she thinks she can train to do what she thinks is best?

The only reason I stay silent is because trying to argue with Alice is impossible. She just annoys the shit out of you until you get so fed up you end up giving in to her. I have to say that it's a very good system she has going, it just fucking sucks balls for the person on the receiving end.

"So are you going back to the restaurant tomorrow?" Alice breaks the silence, sounding truly interested in my work schedule for once.

I answer with a slight nod, holding back a smirk that's trying to break through; because I'm pretty sure I know why she is so interested. Most likely it has to do with one tall, blonde and handsome employee of mine that goes by the name of Jasper Hale. I introduced them last week when Alice came by, and since then she has made several excuses to drop by and visit while I'm at work.

I can't pass up the chance to mess with her a little bit about her obvious crush. "How would you like to come by tomorrow for a visit? Jasper is going to be working so I can have him make you something for lunch." I can't help giggling and giving a knowing look in her direction, thankful it is me this time giving the look.

"Fuck off Bella, stop laughing at me. He is sexy as fuck though, so I'm going to have to take you up on that offer." Now Alice is the one giggling. She gets more serious and asks me, "Are you going to be okay? I really need to get going soon. I have a staff meeting at the boutique in an hour, so I can brief them on my new lingerie line I'm putting out tomorrow."

"Yes mother, I'll be fine. Congratulations on the new lingerie line by the way" I answer playfully, with a smile that Alice returns. "I have a shit load of laundry to do anyway and then I'm taking my ass to bed. I have to be at the restaurant at five in the fucking morning to receive a meat delivery."

"Alright, well I guess my work here is done, for now. Have fun with your laundry and if you need me for any reason just call, I should be done around seven so if you want me to come back I can."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine" I assure her.

We both stand and Alice throws her arms around me in another comforting embrace that I return.

"Please don't hesitate to call me if you need me, no matter what time it is. Don't ever forget that I'm always here for you" Alice promises as we break apart.

I roll my eyes at her and sigh.

"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at lunch then?"

"Yes Alice, you can come see Jasper tomorrow. Now get out of here or you're going to be late, traffic is going to be a bitch going downtown" I say as I push her gently out of the living room and towards the door.

Alice gives me a playful scowl and one more hug, throwing a quick "bye, love you" over her shoulder to which I return, before she literally dances out of the door.

Surprisingly, I feel better after Alice's visit, though I have a whole lot more to think about now.

I make my way back to the living room and sink into the couch, so I can consider these new discoveries that have been brought to my attention.

I have no idea what I'm going to do now. The first thing I have to do before I decide any course of action is talk to Edward. There is no way I'm going to make the same mistake twice; he was right, this is his life too. I'm going to do this the right way from here on out; not just what I think is best for both of us, I found out the hard way, that doesn't work for shit.

I just need some time to let all of this shit sink in, I'm obviously in love with my best friend and there a chance he feels the same. How did I not notice this sooner? This is going to be a life changing decision, no matter what we decide to do about our feelings toward each other.

I'll give both Edward and I some time to cool off, lord knows we need it after the events of this weekend. Just a couple days, then I'll call him so we can talk this shit out and figure out what's next.

This whole situation scares the living shit out of me, but I can't keep letting my parents mistakes fuck up my life. Alice was right; I am not my mother. If Edward does want me, I'll put my fears aside and give it a chance, and not just for his benefit.

I can feel the weight of the world lift off my shoulders and I feel so much better as I finally let go of the fear.

Things can only get better now, right? "Just a couple more days, then I'll know for sure" I think out loud.

After doing the laundry, setting out some clothes for work tomorrow and eating dinner, I am able to fall into the most restful night sleep I have ever had. For once, I'm at peace with my life.


	8. Viva Las Vegas

**A/N**

I just opened up a twitter account, so come on over and get to know me (MamaMel415) and you might just get lucky and get little sneak peaks of chapters to come! Sorry it took me so long to update, it's been a really rough couple of weeks for me. My son is turning six on Wednesday and we just had a birthday party for him yesterday. I have another busy week ahead of me so I'm cant promise when my next update will be. Huge thanks to my BETA melonscraps for making my story readable, and to all of you who have been reading, reviewing and giving my story a chance. I'm not very happy with this chapter, as it didn't turn out as good as I thought it would. All this angst is really starting to get to me, so I promise there won't be too much more of this depressing shit left.

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 8: Viva Las Vegas

**Bella's POV**

The last two days have been a complete blur for me, but at the same time have been passing by too slowly for my liking; I've been on auto pilot since Monday morning.

Alice came by the restaurant on Monday, as we had planned, for lunch. After her flirting session with Jasper, we talked a little bit about the revelations I had on Saturday evening after she had left. To say she was ecstatic was an understatement; that bitch tackled me to the floor.

I barely remember what happened at all yesterday. When I got home, I played with my phone for three hours wondering if I should call Edward, thinking about the twenty-seven text messages and fourteen voice messages I had on my phone when I finally turned it back on Monday morning. They were all from before he showed up trying to kick my door down; he hasn't tried to call or text me once since then.

The fact that Edward hadn't tried to contact me at all made me chicken out with my plan to call him last night and decided that I would give it one more day.

It's now Wednesday and there is still nothing; this shit is really starting to worry me. Edward and I have never gone this long without at least texting each other, even when we are fighting.

Again, I'm sure this is entirely my fault since I asked for this before I knew what I was actually asking for. Edward never fucking listens to me when it comes to shit like this and he picked a really fucked up time to start. Maybe I finally pushed him too far this time and he's tired of my bullshit.

I'm beginning to second guess myself now. What if he really doesn't feel as strongly as Alice made it seem? I can feel all the confidence that I had on Sunday night start to disappear with each minute that passes and I don't hear anything from Edward.

To be fair, I haven't tried to contact him either; it's very possible he's thinking the same things that I am.

Fuck it. I just have to do it, no more waiting or avoiding. This shit is getting worked out tonight even if it fucking kills me.

"Bella, you can do this, it's just Edward" I think out loud trying to give myself the confidence I need to follow through with this shit.

Getting off of the couch with determination, I press speed dial number two on my phone and hold it to my ear with a shaky hand as I start to pace. My body trembles with each ring that goes unanswered.

Seven rings later, his voice mail picks up the missed call. I'm both disappointed and relieved at the same time; I wanted to hear his voice so bad. After hearing the automated greeting then the beep, I decide it would probably be a good idea to leave a message.

"Hey Edward, I was wondering if I could come over so we could talk, it's important. I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last couple days and you were right, about everything. I really am sorry, please call me back. I miss you so much. Love you, Bye."

Feeling satisfied with my message, I end the call. Throwing myself back down on the couch, I to try and find something to watch on TV in order to pass the time until Edward me calls back. I get bored quickly; I have all these damn channels and there is not shit on any of them, I don't even know why I bother paying for cable.

I start to get antsy and impatient. It's been an hour and he still hasn't called me back. The impatience gets the best of me, so I pick up my phone and try again-same shit, no answer.

"Son of a fucking monkey's cunt!" Cursing out loud, I can't fucking take it anymore. Fuck this waiting shit, I'm just going to take my dumb ass over there. We have to talk and get everything straightened out before I end up doing something stupid again, like changing my mind. Without a second thought, I put on a jacket, grab my keys and purse, and leave so fast I almost forget to lock up.

I arrive at Edward's quickly, ripping my seatbelt off, launching myself out of the Rover and all but running to his door. After about five minutes of knocking and ringing the bell, I come to the conclusion that Edward is either avoiding me, asleep or just not home. It's still early, only six, he could be anywhere.

When I'm about to give up, say fuck it and go home, my shitty excuse for a brain starts to work and I remember that I have the key to his house. I don't care if he gets mad at me for breaking in; I'm going to wait for his ass no matter how long it takes.

When I open the door, its dark and all the light are off. I flip the switches closest to the door so I can see. I check out the garage first; that's weird, all his cars are still here, maybe he is asleep.

Going to his bedroom next, I call out "Edward", no response. Edward's bedroom is empty and a mess, clothes are thrown everywhere. I check the other two guest rooms and there is still no sign of him.

I make my way up the stairs checking everywhere and all I find is empty take out boxes, a couple of beer bottles, and a huge empty bottle of Grey Goose on the coffee table.

The last stop is Edward's office, the light is already on but it's empty; still no Edward. I guess he really isn't home. As I sit in Edwards's office chair to catch my breath after searching throughout the house for him, the arm of the chair bumps his desk and the computer screen comes to life.

A quick glance at the screen and my heart sinks immediately, it's now very obvious why his car is here and he is not. There are two internet tabs open. One is a conformation for an American Airlines first class flight to Las Vegas that left yesterday morning. The other is a hotel reservation at Mandalay Bay for their Media Suite.

What the fuck am I going to do now?

It doesn't take much thought to figure that out, there really is no other option for me at this point.

Running out to my car as fast as I can without tripping, I grab my purse and phone before returning to Edward's office. The first call I make is to Rose, Jasper's twin. She is also my restaurant manager and the only person that will be able hold things down for me while I'm gone.

After a short conversation with Rose, she assures me that she doesn't mind and that everything will be fine in my absence.

Using Edward's computer, I book the next flight leaving to Las Vegas. It leaves at nine-thirty from SFO and I won't arrive until a quarter past eleven. Fuck it, that's just going to have to do.

I rush home to pack a bag after printing my itinerary and when I'm done its already quarter to eight. My flight leaves in an hour and forty-five minutes.

I decided to text Alice to let her know where I'm going and to see if she can take me to the airport.

**Hey Al, ur bro is in Vegas I'm goin out there 2 find him, I need a ride 2 the airport asap. Can u?-B **

_California girls, we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top._

_Sun-kissed skin, so hot will melt your popsicle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

_California girls, we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce we got it on lock._

_West coast represent, now put your hands up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

The new ring tone I just assigned for Alice on Monday sounds from my phone, alerting me to her response not ten seconds after I text her. How the fuck does she type so fucking fast?

**Wtf? When did he go 2 vegas? Leavin now, b there in 10.-A**

How the fuck is she going to be here in ten minutes? Her house is at least twenty minutes away. Her driving scares the shit out of me, especially since she got her Lambo, that little twerp has been out of control.

"Oh well, at least I know I'll be on time" I laugh to myself while typing my response.

**K, thanx. I'll explain when u get here. Don't get pulled over either.-B**

I gather all my stuff and put it by the door, making sure I have everything for my trip and double check to make sure I have my iPod.

_California girls, we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top._

_Sun-kissed skin, so hot will melt your popsicle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

_California girls, we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce we got it on lock._

_West coast represent, now put your hands up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

God, I hope her ass isn't texting and driving again.

**K, welcum. Please, as if the fucking pigs could even catch me in this baby. Almost there.-A**

I guess that answers my concerns from earlier. I get a laugh out of imagining little Alice in a high speed chase with the police though.

The anticipation for what I'm about to do is starting to make me really fucking nervous. Before I have time for my nerves to get any worse and I chicken out, I hear Alice outside honking.

I make sure the windows are locked and all the lights are off. I gather all of my shit and lock the door on my way out.

"Okay, spill bitch!" Alice doesn't even give me a second to adjust myself after getting in before she starts demanding answers. I give them willingly; it's the easiest way when dealing with Alice.

"I tried to call Edward today and he didn't answer; I left him a message and he never called back. I went over there, used my key to let myself in when he didn't answer the door, but he wasn't there. I saw his trip itinerary when I sat down at his desk; he left yesterday morning and is staying at Mandalay Bay. That's about it." I ramble out as Alice starts to drive towards the airport.

"Damn bitch, I'm really proud of your sneaky ass. I didn't think you had it in you." Alice laughs out, then adds, "I wish I could come just to see this shit; Edward is so going to freak when he sees you."

My nervousness peaks when Alice finishes, I know she's right; Edward's going to freak the fuck out, I just don't know if it will be in a good or bad way.

The reality of this situation hits me hard. What the fuck am I doing? I am about to catch a plane out to Vegas and find him like a fucking stalker. I am obviously the reason he left in the first place.

"Alice, do you think he's going to be pissed when I find him? It's my fault he left, are you sure he's going to want to see me?" I feel so stupid that I didn't think of his reaction before I made this rash decision.

"Bella stop that shit right now, you know he is going to be happy as fuck when he sees you. I'm absolutely sure the only reason he left is because that was the only way he would be able to give you the space you wanted; everybody knows it's almost impossible for him to stay away from you." Alice explains it like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Alright, I guess that makes enough sense, he was running away for me not from me; I can live with that. I really hope I don't end up making a complete ass out of myself. Just to be sure that Alice is positive about Edward's feelings towards me, I ask her again for reassurance. "So you're positive that Edward wants to be more than friends and he has feelings for me, even though he has never said anything to you about it?"

"Just because you're blind to shit like that, it doesn't mean the rest of the world is. Bella, it's so obvious to everyone who is around the two of you. I noticed it right away in high school when you two first became friends; he has always followed you around like a lost little puppy. I'm surprised he has been able to last this long without telling you himself. I'm pretty sure he said something to mom recently though, she's been acting weird, trying to drop little hints whenever we talk." Alice trails off, glancing at me to see my reaction. I must have still looked unsure because she adds, "So I'm absolutely, positively sure about this, you have nothing to worry about."

Even though Alice was only trying to reassure me, I'm fucking pissed that everyone has been keeping this shit from me, and I decide to take it out on her. "How come you never fucking told to me if you've known for so damn long? And your brother can tell Esme but he can't say shit to me? Now that I think about it, if Edward wants to be with me so fucking bad that everyone but me notices, why the fuck does he fuck anything on two legs? Can you fucking answer that shit Alice?" I finish in a huff almost crying again, already starting to feel bad for letting my anger out on Alice when she's just trying to help. Here we go again with these fucking mood swings.

"Bella, calm down, I'm sorry I never said anything to you, but it really wasn't my place to do so. I only told you now because you really needed to know; both of you have been getting on my fucking nerves lately, avoiding the obvious. As for Edward, he should have told you a long time ago, but to be fair I don't think you were ready to hear it with your views on relationships and insecurities about yourself." Alice pauses then sighs, asking, "Honestly Bella, what would you have done if my brother told you back in high school that he was in love with you and wanted nothing more than to be in a relationship with you? I could tell you were close to having a fucking panic attack when I told you Sunday. I'm still seriously shocked that you're actually doing this. As for the women Edward gets himself involved with, I don't have an answer for that, I wonder the same thing my God damn myself."

Out of everything Alice just said, only one thing stands out to me; her questioning me about what I would have done if Edward had told me a long time ago. "I would have ran like a fucking child Alice, like I do in any situation that I can't handle or that's uncomfortable for me." I answer her question, tears now streaking down my face and my voice heavy with emotion, even though I know she wasn't expecting an answer.

"Oh sweetheart, please don't cry. You're doing the right thing now, that's the only thing that matters and I'm so proud of you. I can't imagine how hard this has to be for you. Leave the past in the past and focus on the future." Alice comforts me while reaching over, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tight.

She's right, the past is in the past and there is nothing I can do about it now but correct all the mistakes I've made and that is exactly what I'm going to do. I know in my heart I have always been in love with Edward, I was just too scared to admit it to myself. The friends with benefits thing I started is just proof of that, I wanted him without the chance of hurting him or getting hurt; a lot of good that did, we're both hurting now anyway. This fucking 'relationship phobia' has almost ruined my life, but I'm not going to let it anymore, ever again.

With my new found determination, I wipe my eyes free from tears and look up to see where we are. The timing couldn't have been better as I notice we're pulling up to the departing flights section of the airport; I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.

Alice finally lets go of my hand to turn the engine off, then reaches over with her arms wide to hug me, I return the hug and whisper "thank you" to her. When we pull away, Alice's eyes are starting to tear up, which makes mine do the same.

"Please don't cry, if you cry I'm going to too and I'm so fucking tired of crying."

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. My little Bella is finally growing up." Alice dramatically declares with humor in her voice and a smile on her fairy-like face.

"Yes Mama Alice, whatever you say." I respond sarcastically trying to hide the smile that's trying to break through.

"Don't make fun of me. I was really starting to lose hope that you were going to come to your fucking senses and stop living in denial. Now get the hell out of my car and go get him." Alice pauses, getting dead serious and adds, "and I swear if you two get married in Vegas without me there, I will never talk to either of you ever again."

That gets my attention and I start choking on absolutely nothing. After recovering, slightly out of breath, I put her fears to rest.

"Fuck Alice, you need to chill with that marriage shit. I think you should slow your roll just a little bit. Edward and I still have a lot of shit we need to work out before we even make the decision to be together. So I'm positive you have nothing to worry about in that department."

My reassurance that I have no plans whatsoever to elope seems to appease her. With one last hug, I thank Alice again for all her help and support and then I gather my things.

"Please don't forget to call me; I want to know every single detail." Alice demands as I get out of the car.

I laugh at her enthusiasm. "Bye Al, thank you so much for everything; love ya, talk to you soon." I respond and close the car door.

Alice starts her car, rolls down the passenger side window and shouts, "Welcome, love you too Bells!" then takes off in a blur of bright yellow.

The airport isn't as crowded as I thought it would be, which it makes it easy for me to get through all the complications that are usually associated with getting on a airplane in plenty of time.

After about thirty minutes of sitting and waiting impatiently, my flight is called. Glancing around the airport, I realize when I come back through here everything is going to be different; my whole life will be different and for the first time that thought doesn't scare the shit out of me. Fuck, I'm proud of myself.

I wipe away a couple of happy tears as I board the plane. My seat is somewhat uncomfortable, but I can manage; the flight is only an hour and forty minutes. I'm just glad that nobody is sitting next to me. I get my iPod out and let the music calm me for the duration of my flight.

The airport in Vegas is a lot more crowded as I try to make my way out as quickly as possible. It's half past eleven when I get outside to find a cab. I jump into the first vacant one I see and ask the driver that I want to go to Mandalay Bay, the hotel entrance.

Thankfully the cab driver is silent during the ride, it gives me some extra time to think of what to say when I get there and see Edward.

The fare for the ride comes up to fifteen dollars; I give him a twenty and gather my things, exiting the cab quickly. When I take a look around me, I'm in awe of all the lights of the Las Vegas strip. I remember that I'm on a mission and decide to save the sightseeing for later.

Walking inside I realize I don't have Edwards's room number, fuck. Hopefully the hotel front desk reception will give me his room number without too much trouble.

When I approach the front desk, the receptionist smiles at me and I give her a smile in return.

"Welcome to Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino, are you checking in ma'am? She asks.

I look at her name tag so I can more formally address her, it reads Jessica. I give Jessica my best smile and respond.

"Thank you Jessica, but no I'm not; I am actually meeting a good friend here. He already has a room, the media suite I believe. I just need the room number, he told me and I forgot; I tried calling his cell but I think its dead." I explain in my most professional 'you can trust me' voice, hoping she will believe the load of bullshit I just fed her.

"That's no problem ma'am, I just need the guests name please." she asks me, not even a bit suspicious.

I'm so happy that she bought my little fib that I almost forget to answer her until she gives me an expectant look. "Oh sorry, the name is Edward Cullen."

At the mention of Edward's name, her head snaps up from the screen in front of her. She looks me up and down as if she is sizing me up.

I am all of a sudden very fucking uncomfortable, I know that look very fucking well; I've seen it before plenty of times. The look that means she has had or wants my Edward and that makes me her competition. This shit happens all the time everywhere we go, most of the time Edward doesn't even notice the skanks that are trying to flirt with him.

Interrupting my thoughts, this bitch has the nerve to ask me "Are you his girlfriend?" while glaring but trying to be nice about it at the same time.

Now I'm starting to get really angry with this bitch. Who the fuck does she think she is, asking me a fucking question like that? This cunt can get it just like that other skank, if she wants some. I'm definitely not opposed to slapping a bitch.

"I don't believe that is any of your fucking business but I will tell you this, that man is mine in every way, shape, form, and has been for about ten years now. So you can get it out of your head that you ever had a chance; and just to give you a proper warning, I am one bitch that you don't want to fuck with. Got it?" I growl out in a hostile tone and a little more calmly add, "I believe I requested some information. So are you going to start acting professional and do your fucking job, or should I speak with your manager instead?"

I almost burst out into hysterics when I see her reaction to my verbal warfare. This bitch has her mouth wide open, with her jaw almost touching the floor, and fear written all over her face. I must be the first person to ever put this cunt in her place.

I figure what's the harm in getting to her a little bit more. "You may close your mouth now Jessica, I don't have all day so if you wouldn't mind I need that room number." I taunt her.

Her jaw comes off the ground immediately and she finally comes to. "I'm so sorry; I don't know what I was thinking. You're right; I was completely out of line to ask you something like that. The room number is sixteen-ten; it's on the sixteenth floor. Do you need a key?"

She tries to smile at me, while I'm still giving her the stink eye. "That won't be necessary, fuck you very much." I say loud enough, making sure that she clearly heard what I said and didn't mistake me for actually thanking her.

I turn around quickly, not allowing this retarded cunt to waste any more of my time, while mumbling "fucking bitch" under my breath. I make my way over to the elevators, pressing the button to go up when I get there.

The elevator opens with a ding; when I am inside I press the button for the sixteenth floor and the doors close. When the doors open at my destination, I become a nervous wreck as I walk down the hall. I find room sixteen-ten, and lightly place my ear on the door. I can hear the TV but that's the only noise coming from his room.

I set my bag down to the side of the door, taking a few deep breaths and I knock on the door three times. Edward doesn't answer so I knock louder a couple more times.

The door finally opens and I'm completely confused when a woman that looks like a fucking super model, wearing only an oversized T-shirt, answers it.

I'm starting to get really fucking pissed, thinking that the bitch downstairs gave me the wrong room number on purpose, when I notice the shirt she's wearing is the custom Ed Hardy T-shirt I got Edward for Christmas, that shit is one of a kind and cost a pretty fucking penny. Obviously, I'm not the only one he likes to see in his clothes. I know I fucked up and I probably deserve it, but that shit really stings. Edward must not give a shit about me anymore if he would let some fucking stranger he probably just met wear something I had got for him as a gift.

I'm not prepared for the feeling that hits me like a ton of bricks when that realization dawns on me. Shit, I think I might be going into shock because all I can feel is numbness.

"Excuse me miss, is there something I can help you with? Are you okay?" Mystery model woman questions, but I can barely fucking comprehend what she is saying to me.

It takes every bit of strength I have to get it together enough to form a coherent response, so she doesn't think I'm some sort of lunatic that's just standing here gaping at her.

"Umm, sorry, no I'm fine; I was just looking for Edward, is he here?" I hope she doesn't notice the way my voice was trembling.

"Yeah, Edward's here but he's asleep, he wasn't feeling too well. I can go wake him up if it's important." She informs me in a overly friendly manner and I'm even more upset because she is being so genuinely nice to me. I can't even find it in me to be mad at her, or maybe the shock my body is going through is still controlling my responses.

"No, you don't need to wake him, its fine. Thank you for your time, I sorry to disturb you." I mumble trying my hardest not to be rude, while turning to grab my things and walk away.

"It's really no trouble at all. If you want to give me your name, I can tell him you came by, when he wakes up." She calls after me.

"No it's alright, thank you though." I answer, trying to get away from Ms. Friendly as fast as possible.

I have to get the fuck out of here and fast, my ears are ringing and everything feels numb. I just want to cry and let all this out, but I can't; my body seems to have taken every one of my emotions prisoner. This must be my sanity protecting itself from having some sort of major breakdown or midlife crisis; something that, most likely, my mind and body won't be able to handle.

I get on the elevator in a daze, probably looking like I'm on something, with the blank stare I can feel on my face but have no power to change. I feel fucking dead, even though I'm still living and breathing, unfortunately.

Out of all the things I thought would happen, I was definitely not prepared for this shit. What the fuck am I going to do now? The plane ticket I got was only a one way and I really don't want to stay out here. I just want to go the fuck home and be in the comfort of my own bed.

I pull out my cell phone knowing there is only one person that can help me right now. I decide to text Alice instead of calling her, because there isn't a chance in hell I'm going to be able to hold a coherent conversation with anyone, let alone Alice.

**U still awake? Really need ur help. -B**

The elevator doors open to the lobby as I send the message. Thank God that bitch Jessica isn't at the desk anymore. The last thing I need right now is for that skank ass tramp to witness me walking out of this fucking nightmare like a zombie. That would probably make her fucking week to see me like this, after I was talking all that shit to her.

_California girls, we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top._

_Sun-kissed skin, so hot will melt your popsicle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

_California girls, we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce we got it on lock._

_West coast represent, now put your hands up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

'Thank. Fucking. God.' Is all I can think when I hear Alice's ring tone.

**Yeah I'm up. What do you need? Everything ok?-A**

**No, I need you to book me the first flight going back home asap.-B**

I put my phone in my back pocket and walk outside, I'm actually lucky enough to find a cab parked at the curb right in front of me. The passenger side window is rolled down, I peek through and ask the driver if he could take me to the airport. The man gives me a slight nod looking at me a little weird, gesturing for me to get in the back.

_California girls, we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top._

_Sun-kissed skin, so hot will melt your popsicle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

_California girls, we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce we got it on lock._

_West coast represent, now put your hands up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

I pull my phone out, praying that Alice was able to work her magic for me.

**Got u booked for a flight leaving in an hour at 1:15am u will arrive arrive around 3. WTF happened?-A**

**Thanx. Either u were wrong or I was just 2 late, he's fuckin with some super model chick now.-B**

That should be enough of an explanation for her, I don't think I would be able to give her a whole run down of my fucked up night so far, even if I wanted to relive that shit.

_California girls, we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top._

_Sun-kissed skin, so hot will melt your popsicle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

_California girls, we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce we got it on lock._

_West coast represent, now put your hands up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh._

**Wtf I can't believe that shit, r u sure? Did u at least tell him? U want me 2 pick u up at the airport?-A**

Fucking Alice with her million fucking questions, I just want to forget any of this shit fucking happened.

**Yes I'm fuckin sure, she opened the door only wearing the fucking shirt I got him 4 xmas, so I left. No I'll catch a cab; I just want to be alone right now.-B**

After sending the message, I turn my phone off. I'm barely functioning as it is and I can't handle being questioned about every fucking detail of what I just went through. Alice is probably going to be worried, but I can't bring myself to give a shit about anything; I really don't give a fuck.

Fuck everyone, fuck all this shit. Fuck the world for all I care. The only thing I want to do right now is crawl into a black hole and fucking die. I finally let my guard down admitting to myself that I love that stupid fucking asshole and this is what fucking happens. I hope he's happy with Miss Fucking Perfect; at least one of us can be happy now. Fuck love and everything that comes with it.

I. Am. So. Fucking. Stupid. What the fuck was I thinking? Did I seriously think that I would find Edward alone in Vegas, waiting for me? Yeah, I'm definitely fucking delusional for expecting that. He can't even keep his dick in check at home so I'm positive Sin City has brought his man whoring to a whole new level.

When I see the airport come into view, I feel some relief that I'll be home in a few hours and I can try to put all this shit behind me. I know it won't be that easy though, nothing for me ever is.

**A/N**

I know all of you fucking hate me right now; I accept that and completely agree with you. It had to happen that way though, so please just trust me, it's not what you think. Everything will get better soon and there will be a lot of make-up fucking on the way to award your patience with me. **I'm thinking of doing the next chapter in Edwards POV, so please review and let me know if you would like to know what's going on in his head too. **Thanx, MamaMel.


	9. The Hangover

**A/N**

Thanks so much for the many encouraging reviews. I got a lot of requests for Edward's POV, so I hope you like it. I'm really happy to inform everybody that all of this angst shit is coming to an end, good riddance. I would also like to thank my awesome BETA melonscraps, for all of her hard work and doing this chapter in record time!

**Follow me on Twitter (: MamaMel415**

Fuck yesss! New Moon won all the shit last night on the MTV Movie Awards; but honestly who really thought they wouldn't? Nobody! Yeah, that's what I thought dammit! I must say say Rob was looking really fucking HOT, I'm not afraid to admit that my panties got wet on a few occasions in that two hour period and I know I'm not the only one! Sorry to delay your reading, but that just had to be said...

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 9: The Hangover

**Edward's POV**

The first thing I am aware of when coming out of my alcohol induced coma, is that someone is lightly shaking me awake while a unfamiliar female voice keeps repeating "Edward, wake up"; and let me tell you, it is doing absolutely nothing for the massive headache I have. I think this may be the worst hangover I have ever had.

The only thing I want to do is to tell this unknown voice to shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone. Hold up just one fucking minute here, what the fuck am I doing with some stranger? I search my memory bank, and no matter what, I can't remember shit. The last thing I remember doing is talking to that overly desperate bitch at the reception desk when I was getting her recommendations on where I could go to get even more fucked up then I already was. The way she fucked me with her eyes made me extremely uncomfortable, normally I would have jumped at the chance and had the bitch at least blow me, but since this whole fucking ordeal with Bella the thought of another woman even touching me makes my fucking skin crawl.

Fuck, what have I done? Why is it so impossible for me to just keep my dick in my pants? I really got to chill on the liquor; I'm getting to old for this shit.

Slowly I peel one eye open, feeling absolutely disgusted with myself for what I have gotten myself into this time. The light coming into the room stuns me instantly and my eye automatically clenches shut on its own volition before I can take in my surroundings, while groaning "Oh shit, too fucking bright. Just kill me now."

"I'm so sorry; let me close the blinds for you. I know you probably feel like shit after last night."

"Uhhh, t-thank you?" It sounds more like a question but I'm unsure of what else to say, my voice is hoarse and my throat feels like it's on fire; I think the Nevada desert has somehow taken residence in there. "Excuse me miss, but would you mind getting me some water? My throat is killing me." This is so fucking awkward, I can't even remember who this woman is and how to get rid of her, or if I'm even in my room.

"Sure, I'll be right back. The blinds are closed so you can open your eyes now."

I thank her as I open my eyes, catching a glimpse of long flowing brown hair as she exits the room; it reminds me of Bella. I miss her so fucking much it hurts, I want her back in my arms where she belongs.

Shaking my head clear of those thoughts, I take in my surroundings. The only thing that I can take comfort in is that I'm in my hotel suite, not some strangers. I also take note of the fact that I still have boxers on, which is also a good sign. I just wish I could remember what the fuck happened last night.

The woman I have no memory of returns with a cold bottle of water and some Advil for me. I barely notice her at all. The only things that have my focus are the objects in her hands that are going to bring me sweet relief, well for my body anyway.

"Thank you, sweet Jesus." I say out loud, not meaning to, and I all but rip the water out of one of her outreached hands, when she is close enough.

She chuckles at my enthusiasm over something as simple as water and adds "I'm not Jesus, but since you seem to be having a hard time remembering who I am, my name is Amanda."

I suppress a nervous chuckle at her remark while draining half the bottle of water in one sip. I take the Advil she still has in her outreached palm and I pop them in my mouth, swallowing them quickly. I cautiously give Amanda the once over as I finish off what's left in the bottle, not wanting to give her the impression that I'm ogling her like a piece of meat. I'm immediately surprised to see what she's wearing and unconsciously spray the contents inside of my mouth all over her. Amanda is gaping at me looking extremely surprised and confused. I don't blame her; she must think I'm one crazy motherfucker that needs some serious mental help. She wouldn't be too far off because I probably am.

The seriousness of the problem at hand finally starts to sink in. Jesus. Fucking. Christ! How could I let her wear the shirt Bella got for me? I can't believe I would do that no matter how fucked up I was.

"Sorry about that, I was just surprised to see you in that shirt. Someone really special got that for me and I feel kind of bad for letting you wear it." I try to explain my rude behavior, hoping she understands.

"It's okay. It really is me who should be apologizing, you didn't exactly give me the shirt to wear, I got it myself after you sort of threw up on me." I can't help but notice the disgusted look she has on her face, even though I can tell she is trying hard to hide it. "You told me to use one of your shirts and have the hotel staff to pick up my dress to have it cleaned, and this was the first one I grabbed. I don't mind changing into something else, but they haven't sent my dress back yet." Amanda quickly explained.

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm so sorry about last night and all the trouble I must have put you through." Pausing to gauge her reaction I ask the one thing I'm afraid to get the answer to, "Did anything else happen between us last night? Because honestly, I can't remember shit."

Realization dawns on her after a few seconds of digesting my question. "Oh no, nothing like that happened. God, this is kind of embarrassing, but when you asked me to come back to your room with you, I had thought something might happen. When we got up to your room you put on some music and after a few drinks we started dancing, and I umm, I tried to kiss you but you stopped me and said you were sorry but you couldn't do that 'her'. When I was going to ask you who 'her' was and if you were married or something, that's when you threw up on me. You're not married are you? It's just, I didn't see a ring or anything like that, so I assumed you were single." she rambles out, looking embarrassed about my rejection and has a slight blush staining her cheeks.

I let out a sigh of relief, knowing I was able resist and keep my little monster of a dick at bay, even when I was shit faced. Feeling bad about the look of rejection still on Amanda's face, I try my best to comfort her. "Please don't be embarrassed. It's my fault; I'm sure I led you on. You're extremely beautiful so I assure you that had nothing to do with it, any man would jump at the chance to have you." I actually mean it; she is beautiful, model like even, but in my eyes she ain't got shit on the love of my life. I then answer her question, "And no, I'm not married. My personal life is pretty complicated right now, but technically I'm single."

She nods her head in response and mumbles a quiet "Thanks" in return, while blushing again and looking away from me, though I can tell she doesn't believe me.

"Have you eaten yet? I could order up some room service while we wait for your dress." I question her trying to lighten up the awkward atmosphere.

"Yeah I'm a little hungry; that would be nice, thank you. Oh yeah, before I forget the reason I woke you up, your phone has been ringing nonstop for the last hour. It's what woke me up..."

Amanda is interrupted by the hotel phone ringing and I give it a questioning look. Who the fuck can that be, nobody knows I'm here? She sees my confusion, and offers "maybe it's about my dress." Damn, I had forgotten about that.

Reaching over to the nightstand, I pick it up.

"Hello?" I answer cautiously.

"Edward! What the fuck have you done now? You don't fucking understand how close you were to finally getting what you've always wanted. But of course, leave it to you to fuck everything up as usual!" Alice screams angrily through the phone causing my ear to start ringing.

"Alice, have you finally fucking lost it or something? What the fuck are you talking about and how the fuck did you know I was here?" I question her, getting a little pissed off.

"No Shit-Ward, I haven't fucking lost it, but apparently you have. What the fuck were you thinking running off to Vegas and having some random bitch staying with you in your fucking hotel room, with everything that's going on right now?"

This is getting kind of fucking freaky; how does she know all this shit? I chance a glance in Amanda's direction to see that she looks really uncomfortable, no doubt due to the fact that she can hear Alice's loud ass. Covering the phone with my hand I quietly ask "Hey, can you give me a minute? I'll be out as soon as I'm done talking to my psycho sister."

"I fucking heard that shit Edward. Stop trying to be nice and tell that bitch to get the fuck out, like you do to the rest of them. Or is this one special and you want to have another go before you kick her ass to the curb." Alice screams again, raising her voice even more to an inhumanly volume.

This time I'm sure Amanda heard every word; the shocked look on her face says it all. I mouth "I'm sorry" to her, receiving a small nod in return before she quietly leaves the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"Was that really fucking necessary? You don't even know her, and for your information, I didn't fuck her! Now tell me how the hell you know all this shit and drop the fucking attitude or I'm going to hang up on your ass. I have a massive headache, I feel like shit and I don't need your bullshit right now."

"Yes it was necessary, and I don't believe you; it's impossible for you not to fuck any bitch that throws her pussy in your face. Do you even understand how bad you fucked up this time? Bella came to Vegas to find you last night."

Holy fuck! Are my ears deceiving me or did she really just say what I think she said? That's fucking impossible! How would Bella even know where I was?

"Stop messing with me Alice, I know your lying just to fuck with me. Now cut the bullshit."

"I have no reason to lie. Bella went to your house yesterday looking for you, because she wanted to work things out and ended up finding the itinerary for your trip. She booked a flight to Vegas, and I took her to the airport myself. When she got to your room last night some bitch, apparently the one that's still there, answered the door in nothing but the shirt she got you for Christmas." she explains, more calmly then before.

I can tell Alice is being honest and the panic starts to wash over me, my breathing coming in short pants. Bella was here, within arm's reach, and somehow I managed to fuck that up too. Son. Of. A. Motherfucking. Bitch! I need to calm the fuck down. Is it possible to fix this? I feel a hole start to burn right through my heart, just knowing I managed to hurt Bella again; it makes me hate myself even more. I can only hope that after explaining the situation to her, that she can find it in herself to forgive me; even though I don't deserve it one fucking bit.

"Edward, fucking breathe, calm down; I can hear you hyperventilating through the phone. If you don't stop, you're going to pass out." Alice frantically breaks me out of my self-hating pity party.

I snap out of it immediately knowing that she's right and it would do me no good to pass out right now.

"Where is she, I need to fix this, now. I know how all this must look, but I swear on everything I love, I didn't have sex with that girl, it wasn't like that. The only reason she was wearing my shirt is because I got shit faced and threw up on her. Please Alice, Bella is the only thing that matters to me, I will do anything to make this right; I need her more than anything." I try to plead with her and even I can hear the desperation in my voice.

"It's too late Edward; she had me book her a flight going back home after that. I can't even get a hold of her; she turned her phone off on the way to the airport. I'm starting to get really fucking worried, she never went back to her place. I don't know what to do." I can tell by her voice, that she's crying now.

"I'll fix this Alice, please don't cry. Bella is a big girl and she is more than capable of taking care of herself, so stop worrying. I promise everything will be okay. I'll be home as soon as I can." I try to calm Alice down, but inside I'm more of mess than she is.

The fact that Bella never went home is scaring the fuck out of me. I have no God damn clue how I'm going to fix this complete fuckery that my life has turned into, but I have to act like I got my shit together-if only for my sister's sake.

"Edward, I don't know if you can fix it this time. I just have this feeling that Bella is giving up, she was coming out there to tell you that she's in love with you and I'm almost positive that this whole situation has destroyed her in some way."

Fuck. Fuck. Fucking. Shit. Fuck! I can never seem to catch a fucking break, ever. I feel my breathing start to pick up again. Bella was going to tell me she was in love with me, and now she thinks I'm in Vegas fucking random bitches and having them stay with me. This may be it, I probably lost any chance I had with her, but I still have to try.

"What the fuck am I going to do Alice? Bella probably hates me with a passion now. I doubt I will even be able to get her to talk to me so I can explain!" At my admission I feel tears start to fall from my eyes, just the thought of that makes me feel as though I have already lost everything.

"Edward Cullen, stop that shit right this fucking minute! You know God damn well that won't happen; Bella could never hate you no matter how much you fuck up! The only thing you can do now is to just to tell her how you feel; she needs to hear it from you. I know we have never talked about your feelings towards her, but it's obvious to everyone else that she's your 'everything' and has been since the day you met her. The only thing I want is for the both of you to be happy, and the only way that's going to happen is if you're together. So you really need to get your shit together, like now! That means you have to stop fucking with all those whores and show Bella that she's the only one you want."

Once again, Alice is absolutely right; I really should listen to her more often. I have a lot of changing to do before this can work, but I would do anything for Bella.

"Thank you Alice, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I promise no more random women; I'm going to make this shit right. I will do anything to be the man Bella needs me to be."

"It's about fucking time, but you need to know this shit isn't going to be easy. Bella is most likely broken right now and you're going to have to work really hard to get her to trust you after all this bullshit."

"I completely understand that and I'm ready to do whatever it takes. I have been trying to find a way to tell her how I feel, without freaking her out, for the longest time now. As a matter of fact, I was trying to tell her when you busted in my house like you owned the shit last weekend; most likely, none of this would have happened had you not done that." I can feel the anger trying to make its way back into my system, thinking about my sister's interruption that fucked everything up.

"Don't even try to fucking blame me for that shit! If you never had that poor excuse for a woman in your house, none of this would have ever happened and you know it Edward!" Alice answers and it's obvious she is starting to get angry with me again as well.

"I fucking know that shit Alice and I take full responsibility for my fuck up, but you need to realize you fucked up too. You can't barge into someone's fucking house whenever you feel fit just because you don't have a life." I immediately feel remorse for my last comment. I know I'm being too harsh and I seriously crossed the line, but she really does need to understand, it's fucking rude just to bust in on people unannounced like that.

"Fuck you Edward! I was only trying to help but if you're going to be a prick like usual, then you can go fuck yourself! Good fucking luck asshole. No, actually forget that, you don't even deserve her." Alice is screaming again and before I can apologize for my outburst she hangs up on me.

Why am I such an asshole? I already know that I don't deserve Bella, but I'm going try my hardest to be deserving of her from now on. I also have to stop being such a dick to Alice; her intentions are always good, even though she is annoying as fuck and her timing is shitty.

Fuck it. There is no point in sitting here and moping, that's not going to get me anywhere.

I place an order for room service to bring up some food and stumble around the room trying to find my clothes so I can get cleaned up. After a quick shower, I feel a little better; at least my headache is gone. I suddenly remember that Amanda is out there waiting for me. I still can't believe Bella came to find me only for her to answer the door in that shirt. Can my luck get any worse?

The living room of the suite is quiet when I exit the bedroom and I come to find that Amanda has already left. There is a note on top of my shirt and some blankets she must have used last night that are neatly folded on the couch. I get some satisfaction in knowing she slept out here and not in bed with me, but I also feel like a dick; that must have been extremely uncomfortable for her. I should have been the one on that couch, not her.

Making my way over to the couch I pick up the neatly written note and read it.

_Edward,_

_I'm really sorry for any trouble I may have caused by being here last night._

_They brought my dress back while you were in the shower, so I thought it would be best for me to be on my way._

_I'm pretty sure the 'someone special' you mentioned, is the woman who stopped by last night; it was obvious that she was really hurt by finding me here and not you. I can tell she really loves you, although she didn't say much, but I could see it in her eyes. I guess you can call it a woman's intuition. I hope everything works out for you, good luck and goodbye._

_Thanks for the crazy night, Amanda._

After reading the note, my heart soars with the reassurance that a stranger was able to notice the love that Bella has for me; everything just may work out after all. The fact that Bella is in love with me, and according to Alice, she has actually admitted it to herself, makes my chances a whole hell of a lot better.

I also feel really bad that Amanda actually thinks this whole fiasco was her fault, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I was the one who fucked up; I should have never brought her back here. The only thing I can be thankful for now, is that I was able to resist her in my drunken state and she was woman enough not to try and pursue me any further. Women like that are hard to find, fortunately for me I already found mine and I'm going to try like hell to work all of this shit out with her.

My thoughts are interrupted by someone knocking. I walk to the door with hopes that it might be Bella and the reason she's not at home is because she never left. I'm disappointed however, to find that it's only room service with the food I had ordered earlier. I give the guy hauling my food in a C-note for his tip, as all I have on me is hundreds. He doesn't seem to mind, so fuck it; money isn't an issue for me anyway.

The food is alright but it doesn't even come close to my Bella's cooking. That realization kills my appetite and I can't bring myself to eat anymore.

The only thing I want is for all this bullshit to be over with; I want Bella and I want her now! Unfortunately, I already know it's not going to be that easy. I don't understand this shit. How come I can get any woman except for the one I want? It's like anytime I get close enough that I can almost taste it, the shit gets ripped out from under me.

Knowing I can't avoid my fucked up life anymore, I get up and grab my phone off the coffee table; something I have been dreading since all this shit had been brought to my attention. I have thirty-seven missed calls; two are from Bella, one from my mom and the rest are from Alice. I also have eight text messages, all from Alice. I delete them all without even looking at them. I'm already feeling shitty enough without having to read that shit. The voice mails I can't avoid and there are fourteen of those motherfuckers.

The first message is from my mom, just asking me to call her back. The second is from Bella; her message makes me feel even worse than I already do. I only have myself to blame; had I never made the decision to leave, none of this would have ever happened. There is a very big possibility we would be happy right now. I don't care what it takes; I'm going to make this right. Bella will be my wife and the mother of my children; that's my only option, she is it for me.

The rest of the messages are from Alice so I just delete them without listening. I'm almost positive that I already know what they are going to say and I can't bear to hear that shit again; I don't need to be reminded of how badly I fucked everything up.

The next thing I do is get my laptop, so I can book the next flight home; coming to Vegas has been nothing but trouble for me and I can't wait to get out of here so I can start working on a resolution.

After I booked my flight that will be departing in three hours, I quickly packed all of my belongings. I just want to get out of here as quickly as possible and I don't give a shit how long I'm going to have to wait at the airport, as long as I'm out of this fucking hotel. It's just one giant reminder, that once again, I fucked shit up.

When I get to the front desk to check out and pay my bill, the last person I want see is there; it's the bitch that was eye fucking me while trying to get into my pants last night. She notices me immediately and it looks like she is trying to see if anyone is with me. When she comes to the conclusion that I am in fact alone, she gives me the ugliest come fuck me smile that I have ever seen.

"I want to check out and pay my bill." I explain in my most uninterested, but still polite voice.

"Leaving already? That's a shame; I could have shown you a couple of the sights here in Vegas." She counters, while trying to shove her obviously fake chest in my face as close as she can with the desk in between us.

Fuck the being polite routine, it's not getting me anywhere; apparently I have to be rude for this slut to get the point.

"I think I've seen all that I need to and so far I'm not impressed, so if you don't mind, I would just like to pay my bill and be on my way."

"No, Mr. Cullen, actually I don't mind giving you anything that you want from me. If this is about your girlfriend that came last night, you shouldn't let her ruin your fun and make you leave so soon." This psycho completely ignores my obvious disinterest, while licking her lips and batting her eyelashes so erratically that it looks like someone just shot her ass with some pepper spray.

Who the fuck even does that anymore? I mean seriously, it's as far away from sexy as you can get; and what the fuck is she talking about, my girlfriend? The only person I can imagine that she is talking about is Bella; she probably had to deal with this creature when she came to find me last night. Jesus, does this woman have any idea what professionalism is? Because I doubt that they are paying her to flirt with the guests that stay here and question them about their personal life.

"I'm pretty sure my wife and personal life is none of your business and I think there may be something seriously wrong with your eyes, they are fluttering erratically. In my opinion, as a doctor, you should definitely get that looked at; it's extremely abnormal."

I get the desired effect that I was going for and she immediately stops batting her eyelashes at me. She looks like she feels incredibly stupid for her shitty flirting techniques, and she should. Hell, I even feel embarrassed for her.

"Oh, um, no. I'm fine, I just had a little something in my eye but it's gone now." she stutters out, obviously lying to cover for her failed seduction attempt and in a more steady voice continues, "Let me just pull up your bill Mr. Cullen. So you're married?" I hear her quietly mumble under her breath "What a huge waste of delicious man meat." I don't think I was supposed to hear that, but I did, and it pisses me off.

Damn, did she really not get the point I was just trying to make? She has to be the biggest fucking airhead I have ever come into contact with, besides Tanya. They would probably make really good friends.

"As I said before, I don't believe my personal life is any of your business, but yes I am very happily married to a wonderful woman, that you apparently had the pleasure of meeting last night." Even though I'm lying about Bella being my wife to get this tramp off my nuts, it just feels right to say it out loud. I can't help but notice the way my stomach clenches in anticipation of making that a reality as soon as fucking possible.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, I don't mean to pry, it's just that you're not wearing a ring." she gestures with a nod towards my bare left hand that I have resting on the counter in front of her.

"If you must know, we just got married last night and we wanted to go home to buy our rings, but again I don't see how any of this is your business." I don't miss a beat, lying smoothly as I let the aggravation her questioning is causing me to come through in my response.

My chest tightens as the despair hits me full force when I realize that could have been a possibility, had I not got shit-faced last night and messed everything up. It was a very slim possibility, knowing Bella, but a possibility nonetheless. I keep my face blank so I don't give away the fact that my emotions are going ape shit, with images of Bella standing before me in a long flowing wedding gown, saying I do. Fuck! All this shit is turning me into a fucking pussy. Men aren't supposed to think about shit like that!

I need to get my shit together, and now. Man the fuck up Cullen, you can think about that shit later. When I'm finally starting to get my emotions under control, this fucking dingbat before me decides to interrupt my internal pep talk.

"Well good luck with that. If we're talking about the same girl, she was a total bitch to me for absolutely no reason." and she has the fucking nerve to pout at me, then adds, "Another thing, let me tell you she is not even close to being in your league, you could do so much better than her." she speaks confidently, adding a wink at the end of her statement.

I'm fucking livid after just listening to her talk shit about Bella; no, actually, livid doesn't even come close to how pissed off I am. I'm almost positive that there isn't even a word for what I'm feeling right now. Without a second thought my anger gets the best of me and I only have one target in sight in which to release it on.

"Are you out of your God damn mind or are you just really fucking stupid? I don't even know you! I tried to be nice and ignore your poor attempts at trying to get into my pants. But now, you. Have. Crossed. The. Fucking. Line. I want you out of my fucking face and I want to see your manager, now! And just for the record so we are clear on one thing, I wouldn't touch your ass with a ten foot pole, even if you begged me for it." I growl out at her through clenched teeth.

That little cunt finally gets the point I have been trying to make for the last ten minutes and runs off somewhere in tears after my verbal assault, hopefully to get her manager. I'm going to make sure that loony ass whore gets fired; she must have some screws loose. I don't even know her, and she's going all stalker-like on me.

Apparently, I was a lot louder than I had thought I was. When I glance around to take in my surroundings, I notice there is a shit load of people in the lobby gaping at me, with wide eyes and slacked jaws.

"What the hell are you looking at, why don't all you eavesdropping fucks go about your business, there ain't shit to see here." Thankfully, that's all it takes for people to start minding their own damn business.

An average looking man approaches me, looking quite weary I might add, and extends his hand to greet me. "Hello Mr. Cullen, my name is Tyler Crowley, I'm the manager here. I was told you had a problem and wished to speak with me."

Throughout his introduction, I leave that asshole standing there with his hand extended not returning the handshake. I know I'm being a prick, but I really don't give a shit anymore; all of my patience and politeness was wasted on that two-cent whore. I just want to go the fuck home.

"Yes, I have a serious problem with one of your staff members. All I have been trying to do for the last ten minutes is pay my bill, so I can go home. I have a plane to catch and she has endlessly tried to molest me with her eyes, made several passes at me, questioned me about my personal life and not mention, she was rude to my wife last night and had the nerve to speak ill of her to me. Do you just hire anyone here? Because in my opinion, the only profession that woman is qualified for, is working in a low class strip club, swinging on a pole and turning tricks." I explain, in an exasperated huff. For some reason this stupid fuck doesn't look the least bit shocked at my explanation of that dumb cunt's behavior.

"I really am very sorry for the trouble one of our staff members have caused you. I regret to admit that this isn't the first time a problem like this has occurred with Ms. Stanley, but I will assure you that it will be the last. The proper actions will be taken and she will no longer be employed here. I would be happy to comp your entire stay with us for the inconvenience, is there anything else I can do for you? Perhaps I can have can have a car arranged to bring you to the airport?"

I guess that explains his reaction to my complaint. Even though I want nothing more than to find out what kind of fucking retarded idiot would let that type of shit slide and continue to employ that God damn woman, I am able to resist the urge and get my whit's about myself, so I can get the fuck away from this place.

"Thank you, and yes that would be great." I respond calmly, felling better knowing I will be on my way home soon. I am that much closer to putting all this shit behind me, and I can start working on my future. Hopefully that future will include Bella.

**A/N**

See everyone; Edward didn't fuck up as bad as you thought! He is just really lost and confused so he keeps handling everything wrong. The next chapter is going to continue in Edward's POV. My plan was to keep going and have this be one really long chapter, but this seemed like a good place to end it and this way you get to read it a lot sooner.

Please don't forget to review! Thanx, MamaMel


	10. BitchBoy Breakdown

**A/N**

I really have to thank all of my wonderful readers for giving this story a chance, the support I have been shown makes my day. As for my reviewers, you are the absolute fucking best! I started this story with no expectations that people would even read it and just to know that people really do like it makes me the happiest bitch on the planet!

This chapter is shorter than my usual ones but I wanted it this way and there is a big surprise at the end. I'm sorry it took so long for me to put out a short chapter but I haven't had too much time to write lately. I will try to get the next chapter out as soon as I am able to.

Special thanks goes to my beta melonscraps. I love her to death, she is the shit and I owe a lot of my story's success to her!

(Sorry for the epic A/N, but it was necessary)

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 10: Bitch-Boy Breakdown

**Edward's (POV)**

I was hoping that when I got home Bella would just come running to me and we would talk it out like we always do, then everything would be fine-you know the fairy tale type pussy shit. Well that's as far from the truth as it can possibly get; I don't know what the fuck to do anymore. I'm starting to lose hope that all this bullshit between us can actually be worked out. I have been trying to get in contact with Bella in every possible since I got back from Vegas Thursday afternoon, but she won't take my calls or respond to my text messages and it's driving me absolutely fucking insane.

Friday, I even went as far as to go to her restaurant and demand that she talk to me, but that didn't go over too well. Rosalie, that crazy man hating bitch that works for her got to me before I even made it through the door. The bitch came at me with a ten inch chef's knife, threatening that if I didn't leave Bella alone and stop upsetting her, she was going to 'cut my worthless nuts off and shove them down my good for nothing throat'. I decided it was in my best interest to do as I was told; she looked dead serious and I wasn't going to take that chance.

It's now Monday morning and I still don't have the faintest clue as to what I should do. Bella still hasn't gone back to her place; I know this because in the last three days I have become a stage five stalker. I even went as far as renting a SUV with tinted out windows and waited outside her condo for twenty-two hours with a case of red bull, but Bella never came home, so the only thing I got out of that was neon pee. Yeah... I can't deny it any longer, I'm a fucking creep.

I'm almost positive she is staying with Rosalie but I don't have any fucking idea where she lives and I honestly don't have any interest in pissing her off anymore that I already have. Obviously I really like my nuts hanging under my dick where they rightfully belong.

Alice still hates me and she won't take my calls either. I feel like all the people I care most about have cut me out of their life and it fucking sucks, but I guess I only have myself to blame for that. I mean, really, how long can they go on avoiding me? Probably just long enough to bring me to the brink of insanity. If that's the case, they better hurry the fuck up because I'm just about there.

I need to get my ass out this stupid ass bed and at least try to get on with my day, but I can't bring myself to get up. The only thing I want to do is give up and say fuck it all, but I can't bring myself to do that either. Bella is everything to me and it would be impossible for me to just let her go like that. If she would just give me a chance to explain, I swear that I wouldn't even so much as look at another woman again-not that I have any desire to do so.

Last night I resolved myself to give Bella the space she needs to figure out what she wants, while I wait for her to come to me when she's ready. Surely she won't be able to never talk to me again, regardless of all the bullshit we are still best friends, I think . I know that I hurt her really bad this time and all I want to do is fix it, but the bitch won't let me. I swear, rite now I feel like a worthless piece of shit, I can't even get her to talk to me; maybe the psycho hoe wasn't too far off after all.

Needing to take a piss really bad, I finally heave myself out of bed. My bathroom still smells like her and that doesn't help me at all. As I flush the toilet and step over to the sink to wash my hands, I notice all her girly shit that she keeps here for when she used to stay over still lining the counter. It fucking breaks me just looking at it and I can't control the tears that start falling from my eyes. Using the last bit of strength I have, I take a few steps backwards until my back hits the wall and I slide down it. I'm a major pussy whipped bitch; the love of my life won't talk to me and all I'm doing is crying into my knees like the little fucking baby that I apparently am.

It's been eight fucking days. This is the longest I have ever gone without seeing or talking to Bella and it's really taking a toll on me. I'm fucking falling apart and I can't do a damn thing about it.

"God, I know I'm an asshole and I don't deserve her or your generosity, but I need her more than anything. Please send me a miracle; I can't live like this anymore. I promise I'll never hurt her again if I can have just one more chance." I pray through my sobs knowing that this is my last resort and hoping that there is some higher power that will send my angel back to me.

My phone ringing interrupts my bitch-boy breakdown. Scrambling to get to my feet, I race back into my bedroom to get my phone off the bedside table, with the hope that my prayers have been answered and it's Bella.

Disappointment rips through my body like a wild forest fire, when I check the caller ID and it's only the hospital. I ignore the call; they can kiss my ass if they think I'm coming in. I still have another four days of vacation left, and even if I wanted to, I'm in no shape to be working right now. They're just going to have to find some other asshole to help out with their staffing issues.

I go back to the bathroom and wash all the evidence that I'm a pussy ass douche-bag crying over a girl, off of my face. I return to my bedroom and collapse on my bed. I try to find some comfort in my fluffy pillows and overstuffed blanket, but it doesn't work and it never will until by baby is here, lying next to me.

My phone starts to ring again and even though it's not likely, I can't help but hope that it's her. It's not of course; it's the fucking hospital again. Seriously annoyed, I answer it this time ready to tell whoever the asshole is that keeps calling me, to fuck off.

"What the fuck do you want, I'm still on vacation!" I growl into the phone, not giving a shit about being polite to my co-workers.

"Oh, I'm sorry to disturb you Mr. Cullen, but this isn't work related. There is an Isabella Swan here that was just admitted, she was brought in by the paramedics. You are her emergency contact, so I am calling to inform you that she's here."

I can't breathe; it feels like I have five-hundred pound man sitting on my chest. I do my best to get my shit together and I gasp in a few short breaths when my brain finally gets the message that there is a severe lack of oxygen in my system.

"Dr. Cullen, are you still there? Are you alright?"

Trying my best, I push the shock aside so I can figure out what the fuck is going on.

"W…What h…happened? Is she o…okay?" I stutter out in my panic ridden condition.

"She's stable, but still unconscious; she fainted and hit her head. I'm sorry but I don't know much else besides that."

"Thank you, I'm on my way right now!" I respond, before hanging up.

I rip through my closet like a madman, throwing on the first things I see. I grab my keys and phone and quickly make my way to the garage and jump in my Beamer.

I drive like I'm in a NASCAR race all the way to the hospital. I thank God that I don't have to battle for a parking space while I slide into my reserved spot.

I enter through the emergency room entrance and run straight to the reception desk.

"Hello Dr. Cullen, is there something I can help you with?" Angela, one of the nurses, greets me.

"Yes Angela, I'm here for Isabella Swan. I was called and told that she was here."

"They've already moved her upstairs to a room while they wait for her blood results to come back from the lab. She's in room four-twelve."

"Thank you Angela. Would you happen to know what doctor has been assigned to her?"

"You're welcome. I believe Dr. Newton is treating her." she answers.

At the mention of that fuck face, I grimace. Angela giggles at my frown and sends me a knowing smirk. "Not a fan of Dr. Newton's I presume?" she questions still smiling.

"Between you and me, I really fucking hate that prick." I answer with conviction, grimace still in place.

"Well Dr. Cullen, between you and me, I have to agree with your assessment." she laughs out.

I try to laugh with her but its fake and she knows it, so I get back to business.

"Thanks again for your help, but I better get up there. Have a nice day Angela." I smile at her as I begin to walk towards the elevators.

"You too." she calls after me.

My nerves are shot and my hands start trembling while I wait for the elevator. I hope she doesn't freak out when she sees me. I hate to even think it, but maybe in a really fucked up way, this is my miracle that I asked for.

The elevator dings, breaking me out of my thoughts. I get in and press the button for the fourth floor. The ride is short and soon enough I'm rounding the corner to Bella's room, only to be stopped by the tall, blonde and blue eyed man-hating psychotic bitch. I'm in no mood for it this time and I'll be damned if I let this crazy bitch stand in my way again.

"You need to get the fuck out of my way. You're on my turf now, bitch, and I will have your ass thrown the fuck out of this hospital if you don't keep your mouth shut and move." I growl out at her, putting all my pent up frustration into my statement.

She glares at me in return, trying to murder me with her eyes. She doesn't say anything and steps aside, seeing that I'm serious as a motherfucking heart attack. I breeze past her, making my way to the only thing in this world that matters to me.

"If you upset her when she wakes up, you will be sorry asshole. I will make sure of it." Rosalie threatens, when I reach for the door knob.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that won't be necessary." I shoot back while turning the knob and stepping inside.

Once I'm completely inside, I take notice that my angel is in fact sleeping, and hovering over her chest trying to get a sneak peak is none other than Dr. Prick himself.

He is oblivious to the fact that I'm here, so I take it upon myself to announce my arrival.

"Hey, Fucker. If you know what's best for you, you will take about five steps back from my woman right the fuck now." I quietly threaten him, not wanting to wake Bella, putting as much venom in my voice as possible while glaring daggers at that fucker's head.

He stumbles back in surprise and returns the glare when he notices that it's me.

"What are you doing in here Cullen? I am her doctor and I will have to ask to leave until my examination is complete." Dr. Prick explains, giving me a smug smirk that pisses me off even more then me catching him ogling my girl's tits.

"Over my dead body, Fuck-Face. You can kiss my ass because I am not going anywhere. That was your first and last time to examine my girl's chest. I suggest you leave now before I'm forced to take matters into my own hands. She is my patient now." I give him a smug look of my own, daring him to argue as I grab her chart off of the table.

"You know it's against hospital policy for you to treat her, but it's your job on the line so I could care less." That fucker huffs like a baby and stalks out of the room.

Good. Fucking. Riddance!

After the door shuts, I walk over to the bed, setting down the chart and I take the fragile hand of my angel into my own and kiss her forehead. My emotions get the best of me, just being able to have her this close to me after so long, and the tears start to fall again. I try to stop them, but it's useless.

I rest my head in the crook of her neck, breathing in my sleeping goddess. More tears fall; if she doesn't want me anymore, it will fucking kill me-without a doubt. It's hard, but I'm able pull away to leave a lingering kiss on her soft luscious lips and wipe the tears from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Love; I promise, if you let me, that I'll make it up to you. I will never hurt you again. You're everything to me and I can't live without you. All I want is you, it's always been you." I sob an apology to her sleeping form.

Kissing her sweet lips one more time, I retreat to the chair in the corner of her room to read her chart. What I read confuses me to no end. The reason she fainted in the first place is because she's severely anemic, what the fuck? How is that even a possibility? She's young and healthy... I scan down the page holding my breath praying that it's nothing serious. One word stands out from her blood work results, and I drop that shit like it just burned though my skin.

I don't understand this shit; how is this even possible? Is it mine? How did this happen? Is this why she doesn't want to talk to me? Is she with someone else? How long has she been keeping this from me?

My head is swimming with a shit load of unanswered questions and the only person that can answer them is sleeping not ten feet away from me. I want to shake the shit out of her until she wakes up, but her sleep is more important than my answers. I will let my angel rest; because God knows she's going to need it.

"Edward, I love you, please don't leave me. Never leave me." The most beautiful voice speaks to me.

My head snaps up expecting to see deep pools of the most precious shade of brown anyone has ever seen, but I'm disappointed to find that her eyes are still closed. I can't help but let her words give me hope for our future. I get up on shaky legs and walk to her bedside taking her hand in mine again.

"I love you too baby, and I promise, I will never leave you no matter what happens. I will forever be yours." I declare to her slumbering form, knowing with all my heart that it's the truth. Whatever happens, I know I will be able to keep that promise to her.

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and please don't forget to review.


	11. Weightless

**A/N**

Sorry readers, this is another, kinda short chapter; though it is longer than the last one. It's been really hard for me to find the time to write since my son got out of school for summer, that's why my chapters have gotten shorter and it's taking me longer to update. I will try my best to make the next one longer, and for all your patience with the angsty stuff, my reward to everyone is some hot make-up sex.

Thanks to my BETA melonscraps for the lemon in this chapter. She convinced me to do a full sex scene instead of some random four-play. She wanted hospital sex and since she is a fuck-awesome BETA and friend, I couldn't deny her.

WARNING: This is my first time at writing a full out lemon, so if it sucks and you don't like it, I'm really sorry! I tried my best...

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 11: Weightless

**Bella's (POV)**

When I start to come to, I feel completely disorientated and my eyelids feel heavy. No matter how hard I try, I can't open them. I also have an overwhelming feeling that someone is watching me.

What the fuck happened? The last thing I remember was talking to Rosalie in my office and feeling dizzy. I remember thinking I should probably eat something, though I haven't had much of a appetite since the Vegas incident.

Using my other senses, I try to figure out where I am. The sterile smell is enough of a clue for me. Fuck! I'm in the hospital. I must have passed out from not eating enough lately.

My brain catches on to the fact that I'm awake and I can finally open my eyes. The lights are dim, but I can still make out the blinding white walls surrounding me.

Yup...That's all the confirmation I need, I am indeed in the bitch ass hospital!

I still can't get over the feeling that someone is watching me, so I cautiously try to lift my head to see if I am, in fact, correct in my assumptions. That action alone makes my head throb, causing me to groan; it hurts like a bitch in heat and I automatically fall back into the pillow.

"It's probably best if you keep still, you hit your head pretty hard when you fainted."

I immediately know who is in here with me and just hearing his voice sends all my emotions surging back to me. The numbness that I have become so accustomed to over the past week is gone. Silent tears start to fall from my now closed eyes and for once I'm actually relieved to feel them, at least now I know I'm not broken. This is the first time I have been able to feel some emotion except for being numb, since I left to find him.

"Bella, I know you're awake and you probably don't want me here, but I need to know, is it mine?"

His question confuses me; I have no clue what the fuck he's even talking about.

"Please, Bella, just tell me, I can handle it. Even if it's not mine, I'm not going to be mad and I'll still be there for you, I promise."

I still have no clue what he's talking about. Even though I'm extremely confused, I can't help but notice that his voice sounds robotic. It's very similar to what I've probably sounded like over the past week, but I can also tell just by his voice that he's extremely exhausted. I can't stand hearing his beautiful voice sound like that and I don't need to be a fucking rocket scientist to know that I'm the cause of it. All I know for sure, is now that he's here with me, I don't ever want to be away from him again. It doesn't matter how mad I have been, having him this close again I just can't find it in myself to be angry anymore. I just want to start fresh.

My curiosity gets the best of me and I decide it would be best to figure out what the hell is going on.

"What are you talking about, Edward? Is what yours? If you haven't noticed we're not fucking, so you can't be talking about claiming my pussy as being your property." I try to ease the tension a bit with some humor, but it doesn't work.

"Bella I'm being serious, so stop fucking around with me. Is. The. Baby. Mine?"

Is he fucking crazy? What baby? My head snaps up on its own accord and this time I ignore the pain it causes. When our eyes connect, I can tell he's not fucking with me and he's completely serious.

"What the fuck are you talking about? W...what b...baby?" I manage to stutter out, confused as fuck.

"Don't you dare fucking play dumb with me; I'm talking about the baby your pregnant with! Your secret is out. I got your blood work results, so cut the bullshit and just tell me. Is it my baby, Bella?"

I'm so fucking stunned, I can't even begin to form a coherent sentence to answer him and my breath is coming in short gasps. Blood work results? Baby? Pregnant? There is no fucking way! He must be mistaken; I'm on birth control, so that's impossible. They probably just got my results mixed up with someone else's.

I try my best to think of all the reasons why this can't be true, but I know deep down it is. I'm pregnant and now that I think of it, everything makes a lot more sense. The constant mood swings, throwing up all the time, and my missed period. I thought it was due to all the stress I have been dealing with. I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner, but it's not like I have any experience with this shit.

I look into Edward's eyes again, silently pleading with him to tell me this is some sort of joke. From the expression on his face, I know this is the real deal.

Edward gets up and crosses the room in a few short strides, stopping when he reaches my bedside. He cautiously takes my hand, as if I might just rip it away from him. What he doesn't know is even if I wanted to, I could never do that. Not only is he my best friend and the love of my life, but he's the father of the child that I've been unknowingly carrying.

"You didn't know you were pregnant, did you?" Edward questions me just above a whisper.

My emotions are all over the place and it causes my voice to catch in my throat so it is difficult to speak, so I lightly shake my head in order to answer his question.

Edward looks somewhat relieved by my silent answer; he probably thought I already knew and I was trying to keep this shit from him. His other hand that isn't holding mine, slowly glides under the blanket that is covering me to gently cradle my stomach while lightly squeezing my hand.

I can feel Edward's eyes on me, so I look up to meet his gaze. I can see so much emotion in his beautiful green orbs, along with same questioning look he has been giving me since I woke up.

I still feel so overwhelmed that I can't find my voice, so I just nod my conformation to him—that it is his baby that I'm carrying. I honestly don't know why he would think otherwise. It should piss me off since he's the one that can't keep his junk locked up, but I can tell he's asking out of his own insecurities so I let it slide.

Edward understands immediately the message I'm trying to convey to him and his eyes start to tear up, causing my own tears to start falling again.

Edward reluctantly releases my hand, while removing his other from my stomach. I can't stand the feeling of loss when he is no longer touching me and I begin to panic. I reach for him thinking he is going to leave me, but before I can think another thought he slips his shoes off and makes me scoot over so he can slide into the tiny hospital bed with me.

The moment Edward gets in the bed with me, he has me completely engulfed in his arms and our legs are mingling together. Edward's familiar scent takes over my senses and my body automatically relaxes into his; it's like no time has passed between us and I'm extremely relieved to know that he still cares for me.

Edward gently lifts my head so we can make eye contact and begins to apologize. "Bella, I'm so sorry about the whole Vegas thing. I swear I didn't..." My lips attacking his, interrupt the explanation he is trying to give me. Edward's apologies aren't necessary because I have already forgiven him. I could care less about that shit anymore and I don't want to hear it; I just want to forget it ever happened.

Edward doesn't seem to mind my sudden assault on his mouth and responds immediately, kissing me with more passion than I have ever felt. My hands come up to wind into his fuck-hot sex hair while Edward cautiously cups the nape of my neck, taking extra care not to hurt my injured head. His free hand glides down my side, over my hip and stops when he has a heaping handful of my ass, pulling me impossibly closer to him. I can feel his straining cock start to grind against me and it makes me want him so fucking bad.

My pussy is already dripping wet and he hasn't even touched me yet. My movements are powered by pure desire as I hitch my leg over his rubbing myself against him in desperate need for some friction—anything that will take away this euphoric tingling between my legs.

Edward realizes what I want and immediately retracts his hand from my ass, caressing every part of my heated flesh that his skilled fingers come into contact with. His hands make their way to where I need them most, while are lips, teeth and tongues are still in an ongoing battle for dominance.

The split second that he reaches my drenched, overheated, lust-filled center, and grazes over it so lightly that I can barely feel it, I almost come undone from his sensitive touch. He starts to tease my clit in a soft circular motion and I can't help the cry of pleasure that escapes me as I buck my hips into his hand in response.

Edward breaks away from my mouth, breathing heavy. "Shit baby...You. Are. So. Fucking. Wet. I want you so bad, I missed you so much." he pants out, while his fingers move lower. Two of his fingers quickly make it to my entrance. Not wasting anytime at all, he starts thrusting them inside of me curling his fingers as they come into contact with my walls, hitting my special spot that he knows so well as the palm of his hand is providing the friction my clit so badly needs then slowly pulling them out tickling my senses with his skilled touch.

I'm so close to coming all over those fuck-awesome fingers of his that my hips start jerking forward on their on volition in time with each of his thrusts. I can no longer hold back my fierce moans of passion, all the stimulation Edward is providing is too much, but it's still not enough. I want to feel him inside, stretching and filling up my soaking wet walls when I come; I want to feel his body on top of me convulsing when my pussy clenches around him.

My hand unwinds itself out of his hair and glides down my body to my center, gently tugging at his hand to stop its pleasurable assault on me.

Edward gives me a questioning look and I simply respond by tugging at his pants while looking at him dead in the eyes, telling him wordlessly what I want.

"I want you so bad love, but I don't know if that's such a good idea, you hit your head really hard and I don't want to jeopardize your recovery."

He looks so torn that I know this will be an easy victory. I know exactly what to do, to get what we both want. I put on my best 'I'm feeling rejected' face while looking him in the eyes and adding a "Please, Edward" just above a whisper followed by a trail of sensual kisses down his neck.

I can tell the second those words leave my mouth he's going to give in. He looks like deer caught in the headlights and I'm positive he won't be denying me anything I ask for. I do a little happy dance in my head, knowing I'm about to get exactly what I want in approximately three seconds. Three, two, one...BINGO!

"Fuck it! Fine, Bella you win, but if your head starts to hurt you have to tell me. For the record, don't think I don't know what the fuck you're doing, I want you to know that it's really fucking unfair." Edward grumbles at me while getting off the bed to strip his clothes off.

In return I give him an innocent smile and I slowly raise my body into a sitting position to follow suit and remove my hospital gown. When I finish, I notice he has only gotten as far as removing his shirt and he's staring at me in awe, like this is the first time he has ever seen a naked woman.

The expression on his face makes me chuckle quietly to myself, but it's enough to snap him back into reality. When he notices me staring at him, I beckon him over motioning to him with my finger.

I don't have to ask twice and he comes to stand in front of me immediately. Leaning forward I reach up to cradle his head in my hands bringing his lips down to meet mine. The kiss we share is slow and passionate, both of us putting all of our emotions into it. My hands slide down the sides of his face, ghosting over his neck, and then I caress all the lean muscular lines in his toned chest and abs, stopping when I get to his belt buckle.

Edward wraps his arms around me, trailing wet open mouthed kisses up and down my jaw line, occasionally nipping and licking at my ear. That shit is driving my hormones crazy and making me moan sending me into a lust filled frenzy, while I make quick work of unbuckling his belt.

I push his pants and boxers down at the same time only being able to get them to mid-thigh, but it's enough to set his straining cock free. Just the sight of his perfect manhood makes my girly bits start to tingle in anticipation.

Edward pushes his pants off the rest of the way, then gently pushes me down onto the bed, climbing on top of me and settling himself between my legs, while propping himself up on his elbows. My center gets impossibly wetter as he takes one of my erect nipples in his mouth sucking and nibbling on it while he is thrusting his erection into my bare thigh making me pant and moan loudly.

I can't take all this fucking teasing anymore and I roughly fist my hands into his hair bringing his face to mine, so he can see my need for him. "No more foreplay, I need you inside of me now, Edward. Please..." He interrupts me by crushing his lips to mine, slipping his tongue in my mouth when my lips grant him entrance and the battle for dominance begins again.

Edward uses his knees to spread my legs further apart and bring his hand down to my folds, spreading my wetness around preparing me for his length. When he realizes how wet I am for him, he can't hold back the primal growl that escapes his throat, triggering even more of my own moans.

The hand that he just had in my happy place slides around my hip and grasps my ass again, pulling me tightly to him and the head of his hardness aligns perfectly with my entrance. Edward ends our heated kiss and looks straight into my eyes as he slowly pushes forward plunging himself deeply inside of me—it causes both Edward and I to cry out in pleasure together. The feeling of completeness is overwhelming whenever he is so deep inside me like this, I can't even tell where he ends and I begin.

My hands wrap around his neck pulling him in closer when he start starts to move. Edward pulls out slowly and pushes back into me grinding his hips in a circular motion until he's so deep he can't go any further. That shit feels so good I know I'm not going to last long.

I lift my legs up and wrap them around his hips letting him sink in impossibly deeper. Edwards's thrusts speed up while I loose myself beneath him panting and clinging to him as tight as I can, not wanting even an inch of space between us.

Edward's head drops down to my ear to suck and nibble at my earlobe. All of the sensations he's causing is making my body go into sensory overload and I can feel my walls start to clench around his cock.

"Bella, I love you so much, you feel so good. I'm so close and I know you are too, I can feel it. Your pussy is so fucking tight; I need you to come for me baby." Edward moans huskily in my ear as his hand travels down to where we're connected and he uses his thumb to rub the shit out of my clit.

The second he touches my sensitive bundle of nerves, I can't hold out anymore and my orgasm rips through my body and I feel myself explode around him. Edwards's strokes get faster, our skin slapping together every time he slams into me causing the coil in my stomach to start tightening again.

"Fuck, Edward. I love you too, so fucking much." I scream out, panting and gasping for breath as pure fucking pleasure shoots through my body like a rocket and I come hard again.

That seems to be all Edward needed to trigger his own release because with one last incredibly deep thrust, his shaking body collapses on top of me, his head landing in the crook of my neck gripping the flesh there between his teeth to muffle his cries of ecstasy as I feel his hot come pumping into me.

My breathing starts to return to normal and his cock has already gone soft, slowly slipping out of me and Edward is still vigorously shaking on top of me and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I start to get worried. From our experiences together I know that this is definitely not normal for him. Releasing the tight grip I have on his shoulders I bring my hands to the sides of his head and I try to pull him up from where he has burrowed into my neck. Edward tries to resist at first, but he finally lets me lift him to face me and what I see almost kills me—his eyes are red and he has tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Cullen, it's only been a little over a week since we fucked and you're already turning into a pussy ass bitch on me? Are you going to fucking cry every time we have sex now?" I accuse him with my lips forming a tight smile, trying to get him to laugh at my insult or at least talk some shit back to me.

"Fuck you, Bella; I see you're still a bitch. So I guess that much hasn't changed." He chokes out through his tears forcing himself to smile back, it's a shitty fake smile and I can't fucking stand it.

I don't like this shit at all. I hate seeing Edward cry and it's not something that happens often, so I already know something is seriously wrong that can't be fixed with my fucked up bantering.

"What's wrong?" I question in the most serious tone I can muster up, with my eyes boring into his.

Edward tries to pull away and break the hold I have on him but it doesn't work, I have a firm grip on this motherfucker and I'm not letting his ass go until he tells me what the fuck is wrong.

"I'm not fucking playing with your ass; now tell me what the fuck is wrong with you." I demand with authority.

I stare him down and I know that he knows that I'm not just going to let this shit go this time. We need to start working out our issues, especially now that there is a baby involved.

Edward hesitates at first but then takes a deep breath and a look of determination takes over his features.

"It's just...I mean...Fuck it! I've been waiting for a long fucking time to hear you tell me you love in the way you just did and it kinda caught me off guard. I just want to know if you really meant it." Edward stumbles over his words as he diverts his eyes looking everywhere else but me, looking like an insecure teenager.

That's what's bothering him? How could this dumb ass motherfucker not know that I meant that shit with every fiber of my being, even if I said it while I was having the single most mind-blowing orgasm of my life. I still meant what I said and I don't regret it one fucking bit.

"Edward stop being so fucking insecure, it's really starting to piss me off. You have no business feeling like that at all. You. Are. Fucking. Perfect!" He's still trying to avoid my eyes at all costs and I need him to look at me so he can see I'm being sincere in what about to say to him. "Can you at least look at me, fucker?" I pull his face closer for emphasis, to the point where we're nose to nose and I finally have his full attention.

"I already know that Alice told you how I feel, but if what you need is to hear it from me, then that's fine." I briefly pause taking a deep breath preparing myself for what I'm about to say. "I'm in love with you, Edward Cullen, and now that I think of it, I'm positive I always have been—even though I just realized it recently. None of that shit matters anymore because I'm not too scared to let myself love you any longer. I can't fucking live without you; I've tried and that shit is fucking unbearable. I know you're it for me, I won't fight it anymore nor do I want to. I'm pregnant with your child for fucks sake! I take my birth control pills religiously and if that enough of a sign that this shit is meant to be, then I don't know what the fuck is."

By the time I finish spilling my guts to him, I'm out of breath and I have tears streaming down my cheeks. I feel so much better finally being able to get all of that shit off my chest. Edward finally knows how I feel and even though we're both still crying, his tears mixing with mine as they roll down onto my face as we look into each other's eyes, I feel weightless as if finally everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be.

**A/N**

**Very Important, Please read!**

I'm not sure how much longer this story is going to last I was thinking about wrapping it up in about 2-3 more chapters, but it's really up to all of you readers, so please let me know if you want me to continue the story throughout Bella's pregnancy and such. I will only continue if I get enough people wanting me to. So please take the time and let your opinion be known.

Okay readers now that the serious stuff is taken care of, what did you think of my lemon, was it sour enough for you? Remember it was my first one so please don't be too harsh on me. So B+E are talking and apparently fucking again, see I told you shit would start working out for them, even though there is a baby in the mix now. Thank you for reading and please don't forget to review!


	12. Mine

**A/N**

Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, I loved every single one of them! I have decided to continue my story, many of my reviewers were very adamant that I continue this, at least throughout Bella's pregnancy, so I'm going to! Thanks for giving me your honest opinion...

Sorry for taking so long to update, I have been extremely busy lately so to make up for it there is another lemon in this chapter and a lot of random fluff, I hope you enjoy it!

As always, a huge thanks goes to my BETA melonscraps, she really is the best! I love you!

**B/N** (beta note, for future reference)

I HIGHLY recommend a panty warning on this chapter, just sayin!

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 12: Mine

**Edward POV**

The minutes are passing rapidly, but it feels like time is standing still. Neither of us has even attempted to move from our position since her confession. I'm still crying like a pussy; I have waited so long to hear that shit and I was starting to give up hope that I ever would.

There have been no words spoken between the two of us since she finished bearing her soul to me. I know I have to tell her exactly how I feel as well, but my feelings for this woman are so strong that I don't have the slightest idea how to even verbalize that shit.

How do you tell someone that you love them so much that just the thought of being away from that person for any amount of time makes you so sick that it literary kills you inside? Because I have no idea how to do that and that's exactly how I feel, I'm almost positive that is far from normal. With my luck, after I tell her how much I want to be with her, she will get scared that I'm some sickly obsessed asshole and run away from me.

Just having her in my arms like this again, I know without a doubt that I have to do everything possible to keep her there—exactly where she belongs. If she ever walked away from me, my fucking world would crumble around me. Nothing is, or ever will be, more important to me than Isabella Marie Swan.

Our eyes are still locked together, she has me in some sort of trance and I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. It's feels like I'm looking into the very depths of her soul and it's the most beautiful thing that this fucked up world has to offer.

I'm the one who has to break the silence, and I know she is still waiting for me to say something in response to what she'd said earlier.

The one single thought that keeps running through my head is that I want her by my side for the rest of my life and there is only one thing I want to say, or more like ask, so I do.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself to ask the most important question that I will ever ask in my life.

Bella looks expectant, sensing that I'm about to finally say something.

"Marry me, Bella?" I question her, trying to convey with my eyes that nothing would make me happier than making her my wife. It doesn't have the desired effect I was hoping for.

Bella looks at me like I have lost my fucking mind and immediately breaks eye contact and starts to push me off of her. I give in willingly, sitting up on my knees, confused at her reaction. Fuck me, because I can tell she's angry.

"Is this what this whole fucking thing is about? You feel guilty for knocking me up, so you think you have to make an honest woman out of me? I'm sorry but I ain't having that shit, we will figure out something else out because I don't want a relationship based on pity..." I cut her off before she can say anything else, needing to set her ass straight—if she only knew the half of it.

"Bella, how the fuck could you even think I didn't mean that shit with all of my heart? The last thing I feel is guilty. I fucking love your ass more than you could ever understand. So don't ever fucking doubt that I meant that shit! Our baby has nothing to do with what I just asked you, I have wanted to ask you that for a long fucking time now." I growl at her, pissed off that she could just jump to conclusions and dismiss my feelings so easily like that.

Bella is silent, but still giving me a skeptical look not believing a single fucking word I just said and it pisses me off even more.

Grasping her resistant hands inside of mine, I lock them above her head forcing her to look at me while returning to my previous position of hovering over her.

My dick won't ignore the fact that it is mere inches away from its home and reacts accordingly. Bella notices and though I can tell she is still angry over her misconceptions, I can't ignore the pure lust that is also very apparent in her features.

I have to disregard the part of my mind that is screaming at me to close the small gap in between us and fuck her senseless, but I need her to know—for a fact—how I feel about her and that I wasn't fucking around with my proposal.

"What the fuck do I have to do to make you understand how much I fucking love you? I have already followed your ass around for the last ten years like a lost little puppy. What the fuck else do you want from me, Bella? No matter what I do, you don't fucking believe me or you just don't care enough to notice. You are the only woman I want, I know I fucked up and I'm sorry for that, but honestly you are the only woman I have ever wanted since I met you. The other women I have been with, I promise you they didn't mean shit to me. I fucked most of them just trying to make you jealous and to make you see what was in front of your face—waiting for you the entire fucking time. It was really fucking stupid and didn't work; it only pushed you further away from me. I also did it because your constant rejection makes me really fucking insecure and I had to do something to prove to myself that somebody wanted me since you didn't." Finally being able to admit that to someone, let alone her, causes the tears to start pouring again and I have reverted back to being the giant pussy-ass-bitch, that she has forced me to become.

I can't even talk to the love of my life without fucking crying, how bitch made* is that?

Bella's face is a mask of shock; all traces of anger are gone. I guess she wasn't expecting that. Yeah, well that makes two of us, because I never intended to tell her most of that shit, but fuck it now, it's obviously something she really needed to hear.

Taking another deep breath, I get my shit in check so I can finish speaking my peace. This may be the only time I'm able to be brave enough to let her know how I really feel.

"Bella, I want you and only you. I promise I will not so much as even look at another woman, never again baby. I understand my proposal sucked balls, but it came from the heart and even though it was only three words I meant every single one of them. You deserve a fat-ass ring along with some creative romantic type shit; I'm ready and willing to give you that. I will be the happiest motherfucker on this planet if one day I get to call you my wife and please don't think that the baby influenced it, I really have wanted to ask you that for a long fucking time now." The tears finally stop and I'm able to finish with a renewed confidence, knowing that it's the gods honest truth, I just hope she believes it.

Bella is still stunned silent, looking slightly unsure and I can't have that, no more doubts.

"Baby, I swear, please believe me." I seal my promise with a gentle but urgent kiss to her lips that she responds to. I pour all of the love I have for her into it, asking her with my actions to believe me.

I pull away slowly to look at her and I'm greatly relieved to see a genuine smile creep onto her face and it causes me to grin like a retarded fucking idiot.

"Don't get too happy yet, fucker, I don't want to jump into this too fast and fuck everything up." she grins at me then continues more seriously. "I'm really not ready to get married or anything like that anytime soon. Can we just take this, whatever this is, slow?" She nervously finishes slightly blushing.

Seeing the flushed look on her cheeks makes my aching dick twitch, barely grazing her hot pussy that is still wet as fuck and it immediately causes the atmosphere between us to change.

I try my best to overpower the urge to plunge into her warm center and have her scream my name over and over while she digs her nails in my back for the rest of the day. It's really fucking hard, especially since this irresistible little minx in front of me is biting her bottom lip while giving me the most inviting come fuck me face I have ever fucking seen in my entire life. Somehow I manage to overcome the urge, knowing that we have some shit that still needs to be worked out. We really need to figure out where we stand with each other and where we're going to go from here.

"That's fine with me, I can accept that you're not ready, but I want you to know that I will wait as long as it takes for you to be ready to be my wife. There is nobody I would rather spend my life with, you're it for me." I confess, staring deeply into her eyes and I can see some of the walls that she has built up around herself to protect her heart start to crumble right in front of me.

"Thank you for understanding and always being so patient with me. I really am in love with you, Edward and even though it scares me shitless, it feels so fucking right that it's impossible for me to ignore it." She admits with teary eyes.

My heart swells with so much love for this woman, just knowing that my feelings for her are reciprocated, I can no longer contain myself or my actions.

Bella senses my mood change and she knows exactly what I'm about to do. Even though I don't ask ,she gives me the green light by wrapping her legs around my waist, pulling me closer to where I need to be—showing me that she needs this just as badly as I do.

I lower my face to hers gripping her lower lip between my teeth, nibbling it gently while I grasp my cock and rub it up and down her slit. I continue stroking myself while making sure to spread around the wetness that has gathered between her legs.

The moans of pleasure that escape from her, breaks me and I can't hold back. I let the little monster loose and without any further guidance it knows exactly where to go.

A fierce growl bubbles from my chest as I sink into the dripping wet walls of my own personal heaven and it takes every last bit of my self-control to not fuck her so hard that I drill her ass right through this fucking bed.

"Baby, your shit feels so fucking good, it's so fucking tight." I moan into her mouth while she grips my hair, tightly fusing our lips together in a searing kiss and digs the heels of her feet into my back, pulling me painfully deeper inside of her.

I pull out slightly, as our tongues are mingling in a dance of passion. Our breathing starts to turn into heavy pants of lust. When I'm almost completely withdrawn from her dripping wet pussy, I hitch her legs over my shoulders and thrust myself so deep inside of her that my nuts slap against her ass, causing Bella to scream my name as her head thrashes from side to side.

The way her lips caress my name, sends me into overdrive and I pound into her pussy so hard she won't be able to walk right for at least a week.

I feel her walls starting to clench around my cock and I know she's close; the way I'm tearing into her I'm not going to be able to last much longer either.

"Bella, I need you to come for me baby." I demand, releasing one of her legs so I can reach down to where we're connected. I rub circles around her clit while I keep up a steady rhythm of grinding into her overheated center, digging in as deep as her body will let me, before I withdraw again.

"Fuck, I'm about to come, I love the way you hit that shit, baby. It feels so fucking good..." Bella moans loudly into my neck biting at the soft flesh as she trails off.

I'm thrown off for a split second, causing my movements to slow down momentarily. This is the first time she has ever called me that. After the initial shock wears off, I'm able return to the mission at hand with a renewed sense of need to make her scream my name while she writhes beneath me.

After a few more deep thrusts, our body's have become slick with sweat and are slapping together as I pound into her tight walls. My mouth makes its descent down to her chest, taking in one of her hardened nipples, teasing it with my tongue and teeth. My name starts to spill from her mouth like a prayer as her pussy explodes around me, pulsing and milking my cock, silently begging me to come with her.

"Shit, babe, I'm about to come! You feel so fucking good...I love you so much, Bella!" I cry out through gritted teeth, as my dick starts to twitch violently and I release my seed in thick spurts deep within her center, while her walls suck me in impossibly deeper, still contracting around my cock.

I release Bella's other leg and it falls limply to the bed and I nearly collapse on top of her, gasping for breath, but I'm able to catch myself in time, landing on my elbows instead so that I don't crush her.

Bella's eyes are closed and her breathing is starting to slow down, as is mine. I wipe off the sweat collecting on her brow and she flashes me a breathtaking smile in return.

"Are you tired, love? You can go to sleep if you want to. How is your head feeling?" I question Bella sweetly as I trail light kisses up and down her jaw.

Bella's eyes flutter open with a happy grin still in place. "I'm fine, Edward, I think you managed fuck the pain away and I'm not really tired, just a little hungry." She explains with humor in her voice.

"Really? I didn't know I was that talented." I laugh out and more seriously add, "I still think it would be a good idea to take some Motrin after you get some food in your stomach though, what would you like to eat love?"

"Shut up you smug bastard, you know exactly the effect you have on women, or anyone else for that matter." Bella states matter-of-factly and I can't help but to chuckle at her. "I don't care. Anything sounds good right now, I'm fucking starving and when the fuck can I leave this shit hole? I hate the hospital, I have no idea how you can even stand working here."

"Stop complaining woman, I'll go get you something to eat from the cafeteria and then I'm sure I can get you released, seeing as I am your doctor, on the condition that you stay at my house with me so I can care for you, while you recover." I grin at her, hoping she won't turn down my offer.

"Whatever you say, Doctor Cullen, you know best." she smiles seductively at me and trails her fingertip down my chest as she continues, "I guess you being a doctor has its perks, well for me anyway."

And now my dick is hard again, little fucking tease.

"Bella, you need to stop if you want to eat and get out of here, because I don't have a single problem with keeping you in this tiny ass bed for the rest of the day and maybe tomorrow."

"Is that a promise, Doctor Cullen?" She questions my motives, like she doesn't think I'm serious.

"Fuck, Bella." I groan, while my cock gets so impossibly hard, that I could probably cut glass with the motherfucker. "It's so fucking sexy when you call me Doctor Cullen, and yes, it's a promise I intend to keep if you don't stop fucking around me, you little fucking tease."

"What if I want to fuck around with you? Who says I'm teasing?"

So she wants to play like that? I'll give her insatiable ass a little taste of her own medicine.

I bend my head to the dip of her neck and work up a rhythm of sucking and biting, leaving my mark on her. My hand travels to her full perky breast, kneading it, while I tease her taut nipple by rolling and pinching it in between my fingers.

When she starts to moan and wriggle beneath me bucking her hips trying to get some type of friction for her center, I stop my assault on her neck to whisper huskily in her ear, "You know I would never deny you anything that you want, so please feel free to fuck around with me anytime you want baby."

"Ohhh God...Fuck, I need you now…Please." Bella moans as she fists my hair, fusing our lips together and fucks my mouth with her tongue.

I break away shortly, gasping for breath, I rest my forehead on top of hers, gazing into her eyes. "I'm not God, baby, but I will have you seeing the light." I respond as I start kissing a trail down the valley between her plump breasts.

I make my way down past her navel and nibble on bits of her soft flesh as I go. I spread her legs wide open, making eye contact before bending down between them, making sure to get a tight grip on her hips.

Bella breathes in a gasp when I graze my nose against her hot wet slit. I can smell myself on her and inside of her and it causes the possessive beast inside of me to come out to play while screaming, "MINE. MINE. MINE!"

"Bella, baby, do you want me to fuck your hot, wet pussy with my tongue?" I growl against her clit sending vibrations straight to her core causing her body to tremble.

"Mmmm, yes! Oh God yes! I love the way your mouth feels on me!" Bella moans as she tries to break the hold I have on her and thrust her hips into my face.

"I already told you that I'm not God." I tease her clit with the tip of my tongue and she grabs hold of my hair gripping it tightly. "I'll give you anything you want, but first you need to tell me who this pussy belongs to." I demand as I thrust two fingers inside of her curling them into her special spot that makes her toes curl.

"Fuck, Edward, it's yours! Now stop fucking teasing me before I rip out all of your god-damn hair." She threatens tugging harder on my hair to prove her point.

"Yes, baby, this shit is _mine_, you are _mine_. Now lay back and hold on because I'm about to make you come so hard you may just forget your own fucking name." I warn, before I dive, head first into her deliciously wet folds, eliciting loud squeals of pure pleasure from her.

I roughly pump my fingers into her sweet spot while thrusting my tongue against her clit as she grinds her hips into my face and the heels of her feet dig painfully into my shoulders.

When I feel her pussy start to tighten around my fingers and her moans get louder, I know she's about to explode. I move down lower, because I want my tongue inside when she comes.

I bring my thumb up to caress her sensitive nub while plunging my tongue inside her walls as far as I can reach, greedily sucking up as much of her juices as I can. Bella tastes so fucking good; I could live off of eating her shit if she would let me.

I can hear Bella's breathing become erratic as her pussy starts to pulse around my tongue. Knowing she's really close, I pick up the pace. Bella's thighs tighten around me and right before she is able to come, someone bursts through the damn door, like they're the motherfucking police.

I immediately spring up to cover Bella's naked form with my own while yanking the blanket to cover us both. I hear someone gasp behind us and I know I wasn't quick enough with covering us up. I swear, if it's Doctor Prick, I will fucking murder him.

Slowly, I turn my head to the asshole that thought it was okay to just bust in on us without even knocking. I'm not one bit surprised to find my pixie-bitch little sister standing there shielding her eyes with her hands, stunned silent and looking quite mortified. To say that I'm pissed is a serious fucking understatement, but at least I'm not going to have to murder that fuck-face, asshole of a doctor. I'm going to have to save that for another time, I haven't forgotten that he was trying to ogle my girl.

"What the fuck, Alice, don't you know how to fucking knock?" I grit out through clenched teeth.

I look down at Bella and she is bright fucking red, her hand is partially covering her face, as if it will make her invisible.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know that you would be in here eating her pussy like it was the last damn meal you will ever eat, asshole?" Alice responds rudely and apparently she seen a lot more than I thought she had.

"That's why you're supposed to knock before you barge in, you nosey bitch." I shoot back with venom leaking from my voice.

"Fuck off, Edward. I didn't come here to see you; I came here to see if Bella was alright. It didn't even cross my mind that you might be here with her, so why don't you shut the fuck up, you god-damn prick." Alice sneers at me.

"Can the both of you please shut the fuck up and stop arguing like two little children, it's giving me a fucking headache." Bella irritably shouts, interrupting right before I was about to tell my sister to get the fuck out. She then continues more calmly, "Alice thank you for coming to check on me, but I'm fine and I should be able to leave soon, so do you think you could step out and give us minute please?"

Alice smiles sweetly and nods her head at Bella, then gives me the stink eye and I return it with one of my own before she silently exits the room.

"Your sister has really shitty timing." Bella grins at me looking less embarrassed than before.

"She really fucking does, I guess I should go get you a snack and get your release papers started." I hug her tightly to me, not wanting to ever leave her side.

When I try to get up Bella pulls me back down on top of her and clutches on to me for dear life. I look at her and I can tell she doesn't want me to go, just as much as I don't want to leave and it makes my heart swell.

"I love you, Bella." I smile at her.

"I love you too, Edward." She smiles back.

Hearing her say that makes me so fucking happy, I feel like crying again, just like a little bitch.

"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that." I admit to her brushing some stray hairs out of her face.

"It makes me happy too." Bella whispers, blushing, and just like that I can see more of her walls breaking down.

"C'mon babe, let's get up so we can get the fuck out of here, I don't want to be here anymore than you do. I'll go get your release papers and you can deal with Alice." I leave a chaste kiss on her lips and she lets me get up this time.

"Your evil, I can't believe you're going to leave me alone with your insane sister, can't we just sneak out?" She complains and I laugh at her seriousness.

"I wish we could just sneak out, but you know we can't do that and Alice doesn't really like me right now—if you haven't noticed. So unless you want to be subjected to more arguing, then I think that this is the best option we have." I explain while pulling on my boxers and then my jeans.

"Edward what the fuck am I supposed to wear? I have no idea where my clothes are and all I have is this horrible hospital gown." Bella realizes, looking around the room in a panic. Fuck, I didn't even think about that shit.

"Let me go check in my office, I might have some sweats and a T-shirt for you, if not then I can get you some scrubs to wear." I offer pulling my shirt over my head, then passing Bella her gown to cover herself up with for now.

Bella sits up to get dressed and no matter how times I see her beautiful body, it still amazes how perfect she really is. I walk over and stand between her legs that are hanging over the edge of the bed and help with the ties in the back of the gown. When I'm done I wrap my arms around her, pulling her head to me to rest on my chest, as I leave soft kisses in her hair.

"I'll be back soon; it shouldn't take me too long. Then we will get something to eat, fuck this bland ass hospital food, both of my babies need a real meal. After we eat, we can go to my house, okay?" I rub soothing circles on her back as she giggles and nods her response into my chest.

Before I leave, I situate her so she is laying back down and push her hair behind her ears, as I pepper her face with kisses that make her giggle some more, I love that sound so fucking much.

"I love you." I leave a soft open mouthed kiss to her lips.

I travel down to where my baby is, gently rubbing Bella's abdomen. "And daddy loves you too, little one." I whisper to my child, before leaving a soft kiss there as well, while Bella runs her fingers through my hair.

When I look up at her she is wearing the biggest smile I have ever seen, with unshed tears in her eyes and now I really have to get out of here, while I still have my emotions in check. I caress her cheek gently one more time, loving the way her soft skin feels beneath my palm before I turn around to leave.

"We love you too, Edward." Bella calls out to me, as I'm about to walk out of the door and I feel a single tear escape down my cheek.

I wipe the tear away before I turn around and walk back to her bedside, taking her hand when I reach her. I know I can't leave this room until I know where we stand with each other, I need conformation—I need her.

"Bella, I don't want to make any assumptions on where we stand. I agree that we should take it slow and do things the right way I don't want to mess things up between us either, so would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend? I would like nothing more than for it to be official." I stare into her eyes awaiting her answer, trying to convey to her that nothing would make me happier right now then to be able to leave this room knowing without a doubt that I'm hers and she is mine.

**A/N**

I had to leave you with a little cliffie, sorry! Next chapter we will find out what Bella's answer will be. So what did you think? Did you like my lemon? Please review and let me know, thanks!

* bitch made=slang for acting like a punk bitch

**Please Read:**

I would like to recommend a story for you to read, I love it. It's written by my BETA melonscraps and its called Just Driving Thru, so if you have some time, give it a chance you won't be disappointed.

**Summary:**

Somewhat insecure Bella is miserable working at McDonalds, till one day Edward comes through the Drive Thru. What happens when she starts thinking of him as his visits increase? Funny, Romantic, Lemony Goodness! AH BxE

**Link:**

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5627507/1/Just_Driving_Thru

My beta, melonscraps, also set up a thread on twilighted, come on over and we can discuss this little fic!

http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=10137


	13. In His Arms

**A/N**

**(PLEASE READ)**

I am so fucking sorry for not updating in an extremely long time. You don't even know, I feel absolutely terrible. I really hope I didn't lose too many of my readers, but I want you to know that I have good reason for the lack of updates. My computer took a serious shit on me and my dad, who happens to be my own personal geek squad tech, told me my CPU was fried, so I was pretty much fucked. But I just got a fuck-awesome laptop, so no more worries, I'm back on my shit now. To make up for my computers complete bitch ass fuckery, causing the lack of updates for you fine people to read, I made sure this chapter was extra long, it's 6,000+ words and there is a little bit of lemony shower fun for all you freaks like me that love that shit.

If this chapter sucks hard I'm really sorry, I hadn't written in so long that it was hard for me to get back into the grove of it. I rewrote this chapter at least three times so I really hope you enjoy it and that it lives up to my writing thus far, please let me know what you think.

As always, a huge thank you goes to my Beta melonscraps for sticking with me through all this bullshit. Check out her stories as she is a wonderful writer.

Don't forget to come and play with me on Twitter!

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 13: In His Arms

**Bella's (POV)**

Is this really happening? I seriously think I may have finally lost the last shred of sanity that I have been struggling to keep a hold on and now I'm starting to imagine shit. That reality is way easier for me to believe than Edward asking me to be his girlfriend—with a very hopeful look on his face I might add.

After a couple minutes of very awkward silence between us, in which I use to determine what level of bat-shit-crazy I'm currently residing in today, I come to the conclusion that by some huge miracle I'm not as insane as I originally thought I was. I didn't just imagine that shit.

There is no way in hell that I can actually take his marriage proposal serious. I'm pretty sure the only reason he blurted that shit out is because he thought it was the right thing to do. The last thing I want is to trap him into a life he doesn't want, but seeing the sincerity on his face as he asked I'm starting to think that this motherfucker is actually being fucking serious. But first, Edward Cullen really wants to be my boyfriend.

I guess it might be time for me to come to terms and accept the fact that Edward really does love me, even if I still can't for the life of me understand why he has stuck around for this long.

I look back up and lock eyes with a very expectant Edward and it reminds me that he is still waiting for me to answer his question. Once again I let my thoughts take over, I need to stop thinking so much and just learn to go with the flow—Yeah right, like that would ever happen.

"Edward, are you sure this is really what you want? I don't want you thinking that you have to be with me just because I'm pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I do love you and I would really like for things to work out that way, but I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me because of that." I need to be absolutely, positively sure, this is what he wants as well before I jump head first into this scary relationship shit.

"You're fucking insane if you think that I don't want you in every way possible. Bella, if reassurance is what you need, I don't mind giving it to you in the least; I'll remind you everyday if that's what it takes. I don't feel pressured at all; I wanted this before I even knew about the baby. I love you, Bella and nothing would make me happier. Well no, that's a lie. I would love to marry you this very minute, but I know we aren't ready for that yet. I do agree that we should work to build our relationship the right way so we don't fuck this up, because we are so good at fucking things up." Edward flashes me a somewhat exacerbated look, like I should already know this shit. Since I'm so insecure and fucked up in the head, I really do need the reassurance that he doesn't feel forced to do something he doesn't want to do.

I feel satisfied that what we are both feeling is mutual after his explanation, but the whole marriage thing still scares the living shit out of me. We are going to have to cool it when it comes to that topic for a while; I'm still trying to get comfortable with the idea of boyfriend.

"If you're being honest, which I'm pretty sure that you are, and this is really what you want, then fuck it, why the hell not?" I finally relent, putting my fears aside hoping I don't regret my decision. Edward beams at me, the radiance of his smile makes me want him to fuck my brains out again. Fuck! This man makes me so damn horny!

"Seriously?" Edward's smile fades slightly turning into a look of disbelief like he thinks I'm fucking with him, to which I roll my eyes and nod my head in conformation. "That was way easier than I thought it was going to be, I was prepared to argue with your stubborn ass for a while." Edward sighs in relief, and then more seriously adds, "Thank you for giving me this chance, Bella. I swear not to hurt you again; I promise I won't fuck this up."

"You better not. Because if you do, I promise you, Edward, I will fucking murder your ass while you sleep! No seriously, do you see me smiling, I will fucking shank you with the ice pick I keep under my pillow." I exclaim only half joking and he just gives me his cocky-ass smile in response; he's a smug motherfucker, but I wouldn't have him any other way as long as he keeps his dick in check.

"I'm going to go take care of the paperwork and find you some clothes so we can get the fuck out of here and go home; it shouldn't take too long." Edward kisses my forehead before he leaves and the asshole is skipping, yes actually skipping, like a child that just got a shiny new toy or some shit. Sometimes he can be such a fag, but he's _my_ fag now so I don't give a shit, I think to myself like a giddy little school girl.

I don't even have time to wrap my head around what just happened, or how much things are going to change from here on out before Alice barges in just seconds after Edward departs. I really don't feel like dealing with her shit right now in the least, but I guess I should just get this over with; it doesn't look like I have any other choice. Once we make eye contact Alice gives me a look as if to say 'are you serious' that I of course ignore. She doesn't know shit, only what I tell her and that isn't much. I will not let her ruin the current state of happiness I'm in just because she's still butt-hurt.

"If you're planning on giving me shit about your brother, you can just forget it. I'm in no mood to argue with you right now." I cut the shit and get straight to the point, while giving her my most serious 'don't fuck with me' look to prove my point. I'm pregnant and hormonal—even though I'm almost positive she has no idea about that considering I just found out myself—but if she is as smart as I think she is, then she will sense this and back the fuck up off my shit.

"I just came to see how you're doing, so calm down." Alice puts her hands up in mock surrender, but it's very clear that she is disappointed that I won't allow her to interrogate me today.

"Well, if that's the case, then I'm fine so don't worry. Edward is going to get my release papers right now then we're going to his house." I explain cautiously, purposely avoiding the pregnancy. That little tidbit of info will send her into a frenzy, and at the moment, I like the fact that this is something that only Edward and I know about.

"So, just like that, he's forgiven?" Alice's nosy ass just cant help herself, as she comes to sit on the foot of my bed she sighs at me like I'm her child and she is disappointed in me.

"There really is nothing to forgive, Alice, the past is in the past and that's where I want to keep it. It's not even like we were together when all that shit went down. Yeah, it hurt me really fucking bad, but we talked shit out and everything is cool now. I'm not going to hold a grudge and I really don't want to think about it anymore. Can we talk about something else? Like how you even knew I was here?" I grumble, irritated that she just had to bring that shit up when I already asked her ass not to. I understand she is pissed at him for whatever reason, but that shit has nothing to do with me.

"Oh, um...Jasper kinda called me and told me..." Alice trails off looking embarrassed as she fidgets, looking everywhere but at me.

I shouldn't be surprised in the least, after seeing their obvious attraction to each other, but I am. I didn't think Alice would ever be able to get over what James did to her. Let alone be able to even trust someone else. I'm really fucking thankful I can now steer this conversation as far away from me as possible.

"You really like him don't you?" I tease her, trying my best to change the subject.

"Yeah, I do. I didn't think it would ever be possible, but I seriously feel like I can actually trust him. This may sound really weird because we don't know each other that well, but I think he may be my soul mate." Alice explains, while positively beaming at the prospect, almost like she is already planning their wedding in her head.

I'm really happy for her, but she needs to slow the fuck down, I don't want her to get too excited and then find out Jasper doesn't feel the same for her and end up being let down. I know Jasper is a decent guy; he's been working for me for a while now, but it's a possibility that he may not want the same things as Alice.

"That's great, Alice. I'm really glad you finally found someone that makes you feel that way, but please just be careful. Jasper is a good guy as far as I know; I just don't want you to get hurt again." I voice my concerns subtly, not wanting to rain on her parade, but I also don't want her to set herself up for disappointment if things don't work out the way she wants them to.

"I know and I'm trying really hard not to get ahead of myself, but it's difficult because we just seem to balance each other out so well. I don't even care that he's divorced and has a kid." Alice gushes excitedly.

Hold the fucking phone for just a second while I process that shit. What the hell? I didn't even know he was divorced, let alone have a kid. I would have thought Rose that would have at least told me that shit.

"He's divorced and has a child?" I ask, dumbfounded that I had no idea about this.

"I don't think it's something that he talks about a lot, his daughter is in Texas with his bitch of an ex-wife. Jasper has been trying to get custody of her." Alice admits and then thoughtfully adds, "I told him about James and I didn't even cry. It's almost like he has this crazy ability to keep me calm even when I'm talking about shit that usually causes me to freak the fuck out."

"Wow, you two have been getting really close." I point out the obvious like a dumb-shit, not knowing what else to say. I start to feel shitty about not knowing any of this, I've been so caught up with my own bullshit that I have become a really bad friend.

Alice smiles shyly, looking away and blushing.

Okay. What the fuck now? I don't think I have ever seen Alice blush in all the time I have known her! That could only mean one thing, I'm so fucking lost and I really need to get to the bottom of this shit—and now.

"Alice, are you and Jasper already having sex?" I blurt out louder than I should have and of course that's the moment Edward chooses to return to my room. I chance a glance at Alice and she looks absolutely mortified.

"Who's having sex?" Edward wonders out loud, looking extremely confused as he glances between Alice and I.

"Um, nobody?" My incredibly stupid response sounds way too much like a question, so I already know there is no way in hell that he is going to buy that shit.

God, I'm so fucking stupid. I really need to learn how to just keep my fucking mouth shut! Edward is way too protective over Alice, especially after all the bullshit with James. I know he will flip the fuck out and probably try to murder Jasper if he finds out about them. This may sound selfish as fuck, but Jasper is a really good cook and I can't afford to lose him.

Edward shoots me a disbelieving look. Thankfully Alice decides to save me, probably realizing if she continues to let me talk she will be fucked and I will be out a wonderful cook. Alice states that it was just some "juicy girl gossip" and makes a quick exit, mumbling about how she needs to get back to her boutique while giving me a pointed look—silently pleading with me to keep my mouth shut.

"So what is it that you're not telling me?" Edward quirks his eyebrow in a skeptical manner, while walking over to the bed and handing me a T-shirt and a pair sweatpants.

"Nothing for you to be concerned about, like Alice said, it's just girl gossip. It would probably bore you anyway." I lie smoothly, or I at least hope I did.

"If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. I'm not worried about it; besides, I'll get it out of you eventually." Edward smirks smugly at me.

Yeah. I'm a shitty liar, I really have to start working on that, and soon.

"Did you get me released?" I ignore his comment, even though it's probably true and I attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah I did, after you get dressed we can leave." Edward rolls his eyes and slightly shakes his head at my shitty avoidance tactics.

After I change into the clothes Edward provided me, he grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers and leads me out of the room toward the elevators. Edward mumbles something under his breath that I can't quite make out, as we pass the nurses' station. A glaring match appears to ensue, with what I assume is another doctor who has blonde hair. I try my best to suppress a chuckle at what seems to be some serious colleague rivalry, but I'm not able to hold it in and of course, Edward notices.

"What's so funny?" Edward leans down and whispers in my ear, while giving me a questioning look.

"What's your problem with that doctor? You look like you are trying to murder him with your eyes." I whisper back.

"I wish it were that simple, otherwise that motherfucker would be six feet under already. He's just an incredibly cocky prick that thinks he is God's gift to earth and tries to fuck every single person on this planet with a vagina." Edward states and takes out his irritation on the elevator button, attacking the poor thing with his finger.

I laugh internally, the irony of that statement is not lost on me; it sounds like he was explaining the way he used to be not too long ago.

"Sounds like someone else I know." I erupt into a fit of giggles, not being able to hold them back any longer as the elevator doors open. Edward glares at me, not the least bit amused.

"You think that shit is funny, Bella?" Edward growls, while backing me up into the corner of the elevator, scowling at me.

And fuck me, because it causes my pussy to tingle. Now I am wet and I'm not wearing any panties—not good. I'm about to have pussy juice dripping down my thigh any second now, which will be really fucking uncomfortable. _I wonder if I can get Edward to lick it off for me..._

I shake my head clear of the dirty thoughts as Edward wraps his arms around my waist and brushes a soft kiss over my lips. This causes my little problem to get a lot worse, but I lean into him anyway, letting our bodies mold together. The situation in my pants may be uncomfortable, but this is so fucking worth it.

"The difference between me and that douche bag is that I saw what I was doing is wrong. It was wrong on so many levels and even before I had way higher standards than that fuck-stick, but I have no desire to be that person anymore, because the woman I have been in love with since high school agreed to be my girlfriend. She is the only woman I will ever want. There is nothing that would ever be worth the risk of losing her; she makes me want to be the best man I possibly can for her and only her. There will never be room in my heart for anybody else, ever." Edward whispers against my ear with so much conviction, the sincerity of his words put me at peace with our past. I know we are meant to be, even though it took us a really long time to get here.

I still don't understand how I never noticed it before. He said he has loved me since high school. I guess it was me being blind to things I didn't want to see, things I was deathly afraid of and still to some degree am—love and the loss of that love.

The ding of the elevator, signaling we have reached our floor startles me out of my internal musings and I jump slightly as the doors open. Edward releases the hold he has around my waist and takes my hand again, pulling me along the halls of the hospital.

When we reach the emergency room, he guides me to the reception desk. There is a woman behind the desk with a warm expression on her face hidden behind a small pair of glasses as she glances between me and Edward. I eye Edward curiously, wondering why he stopped us here. I thought we were free to go.

"Bella, I would like you to meet Angela, she is one of the best medical assistants we have here. I'm trying to get her transferred to my department so I could get rid of that god-awful bitch, Lauren. Angela, this is the love of my life, my girlfriend, Bella." Edward introduces us with a shit-eating grin spread across his face and unmistakable pride seeping from his voice as he explains our relationship, causing me to blush and I can tell he is having a little too much fun with our new title.

"Hi, it's very nice to meet you, Angela." I smile politely, as my blush starts to fade.

"You too, Bella. I'm glad you're feeling better." Angela smiles back.

I like Angela immediately, I can tell she isn't being fake with me for Edward's benefit. She doesn't look at me like the others do—like I'm not good enough for Edward—or like she is jealous and wants his cock, which is now considered my cock. _Mmm, my cock, I really like the sound of that..._ I'm kind of starting to like this whole boyfriend thing; it definitely has its perks. Like now when I think of his cock as _my cock_ I'm not deluding myself anymore, it's actually fucking true now.

_Shit.. Focus Bella stop thinking about your boyfriends impressive penis!_

"I just wanted to introduce you two before we left, but I'll let you get back to work Angela and thank you for your help this morning, be expecting a department transfer request soon." Edward continues to grin like an idiot that is high on something and waves as he starts to guide me away from the desk, while I'm still trying to clear my head of thoughts about his man meat.

"Okay, Doctor Cullen, I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Bella, it was a pleasure meeting you and get some rest." Angela calls out to us waving with a wide smile on her face and I like her even more.

"Thanks, I will." I call over my shoulder as we walk through the doors and out to the parking lot.

When we reach Edward's car, he opens the door for me and gives me a quick peck on the lips that leaves me wanting for more, before guiding me into the seat and fastening my seatbelt for me.

"I really like that Angela girl, she's very sweet." I comment when Edward starts the car after taking his place in the driver's seat.

"Yeah she's really nice and very _professional_." Edward draws out the last word and I immediately understand the double meaning he is trying to convey. "So, what would you like to eat, baby; you can have anything you want."

"Pizza sounds good and that way we don't have to stop anywhere."

"That sounds good to me, order whatever you want." Edward passes me his phone. "I have the number for North Beach Pizza in there; I know it's your favorite."

"Thanks, you know me too well—it's kind of fucking creepy." I comment absentmindedly as I scroll through the numbers in his phone. I take my time, snooping just a tiny bit while Edward chuckles at my comment.

I don't find anything upsetting or incriminating which is really fucking surprising. It's disturbingly obvious that he has deleted over half of his contacts since the last time I snooped through his phone. I guess he is ready to change.

We arrive at Edward's house shortly after I order the food. Of course he opens the door for me and all but carries me into the living room. He leads me to the couch, places a pillow down for me to lie on and covers me with a blanket. I want to complain since I hate being waited on—I like my independence. However, I can tell Edward is really enjoying this, so I let him have his fun, for now.

Edward turns on his massive television, and surprisingly enough, he hands me the remote before sitting on the opposite end of the couch and lifts my feet into his lap. I change the channel to the Food Network and Good Eats is on. It's one of my favorite shows, but I'm starving right now so it's only making me hungrier at this point. The pork chops that Alton Brown is making cause my stomach to rumble.

"The food should be here soon, so get that look of desperation off of your face." Edward has the nerve to laugh at me—that fucker.

In return, I launch the remote at his head and childishly stick my tongue out at him but it only makes him laugh harder at me.

"It's really mean to laugh at your pregnant girlfriend when she's really fucking hungry and hasn't been eating much lately." I put pressure on the sweet spot between his legs with the heel of my foot and shoot him a warning look.

Edward wipes the grin off of his face so fast that I almost start to laugh. He doesn't have to know that I would never actually do that; I think I may love his junk more than he does.

"Bella, how come you haven't been eating much lately? I know you seem a lot thinner but that's really not good for the baby." Edward scolds me, now in full doctor mode.

"I've been stressed and I just haven't had too much of an appetite lately. Not to mention I have been feeling like shit and I didn't even know I was pregnant." I answer simply, though I am ashamed that I let all this shit affect me so much.

"I really am sorry, Bella, nothing like that will ever happen again..." Edward trails off as his expression turns to a mix of pain and guilt.

I'm so fucking over all of this shit, I just want to forget the past ten days entirely, move forward and be happy for once in my fucking life. Is that too much to ask?

"Don't, Edward, _just don't_. I'm so sick and tired of apologies and thinking about the shit we can't go back and change. Please, for me, get that stupid fucking look of your face." I am almost pleading with him. The door bell rings and I am glad for the interruption and for this tense moment to be over with.

Sighing heavily, Edward heaves himself off of the couch to answer the door. I make my way to the kitchen to get some plates, napkins and glasses while Edward takes care of paying for dinner. When I return, Edward already has all the food I ordered spread out over the coffee table. I wordlessly hand him a plate and a glass then place the napkins in between us as I reclaim my place on the couch.

When I go to grab the two-liter of Pepsi to fill up our glasses, Edward stops me, yanking the shit clean out of my hands. I gape at him, confused as fuck.

"You can't drink that, the caffeine isn't good for the baby." Edward informs me, apparently sensing my confusion over his rash reaction-like I should already have known this.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know that shit? I've never been pregnant before, Edward and I'm not a doctor like you, so calm the fuck down, alright. I won't drink the damn soda." I defend myself throwing my hands up in surrender, the atmosphere getting tenser by the second.

I definitely need to get some books on pregnancy and motherhood shit, before I drive the over protective Daddy-Doctor in-fucking-sane. Though it is funny as hell to watch Edward loose his shit, I should play nice. Even though he is used to dealing with the semantics of pregnancies, becoming a parent is all new to him too and he is just as scared of fucking up as I am.

Edward cracks a small smile and rolls his eyes at my little shit-fit but says nothing, causing some of the tension between us to dissipate. He gets up, grabbing both of our glasses and heads into the kitchen. I don't waste another second before I start filling my plate up with pizza, caesar salad and fried ravioli. Edward returns shortly after I start to stuff my face with two glasses of ice water and I can tell he is holding back a laugh. I can only assume that I look like a fucking chipmunk with a mouth full of acorns at the pace I'm trying to shove this delicious shit down my throat. I decide to ignore him since I'm too damn hungry to spaz out on him right now—maybe later.

We eat in comfortable silence only exchanging a few words when necessary until I get so full I feel like I am going to burst. With a groan, I silently curse that damn food for being so good that I couldn't stop eating it.

"I'm so full it hurts." I whined, leaning my head back against the cushions of the couch and running my hands over my stomach.

"C'mon, Babe, let's get you in bed so you can get more comfortable." Edward responds to my bitching, pulling me up with him and leading me to his bedroom with his warm hand securely on the small of my back.

When we get to our destination I decide that I really need to take a shower, I can still smell the sterile hospital on me and it is really fucking gross.

"I'm going to take a shower before I lay down; I need to get this hospital funk off of me." I inform Edward before making my way toward his bathroom.

"Mind if I join you, Beautiful?" He calls out after me.

"Do I ever?" I responded sarcastically as I reach the bathroom, with Edward trailing behind me while muttering something along the lines of 'always such a smart ass'. I don't think I have ever taken a shower here without him joining me at some point and he has never asked before. Why the hell would he start now, when he is actually my boyfriend and not just my fuck buddy?

As I start the water and bring it to the proper temperature for a relaxing shower, I feel Edward's arms snake around me from behind, skimming his hands under the fabric of the oversized shirt he gave me at the hospital. He makes small sensuous circles over the skin of my stomach, his thumbs barely grazing the underside of my breasts, causing an involuntary moan to escape me.

Edward lowers his mouth to my ear, caressing it with his lips. "Bella, let me take care of you." He whispers huskily in my ear, causing my body to shudder with pleasure and a delicious ache to spread though out my now slick center, I have no idea what he's talking about, but I really don't fucking care, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. After my hum of approval, he continues his slow passion-filled assault on the sensitive skin of my neck.

It isn't too long before my shirt is discarded and he is palming my breasts vigorously, but gently at the same time while rolling my over sensitive nipples between his fingers, provoking noises from me that I have never ever heard myself make before.

Once he gets me thoroughly worked up to the point of combustion, Edward reluctantly stills his actions and drops his hands to remove his clothes. I immediately follow suit, stripping off the only article of clothing I have left on—my sweat pants. I look over my shoulder at Edward to see him licking his lips while desire burns in eyes. The overwhelming intensity of his penetrating gaze nearly makes me come undone. Not breaking eye contact, he slowly laces our hands together and gently tugs me into the shower with him.

Edward situates us under the spray of water, while lifting my chin to kiss my lips softly. I run my hands up his chest and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer in an attempt to deepen the kiss. My tongue darts out as his lips part and I waste no time before I am fucking his mouth with my tongue. Edward's hands fuse into my wet hair, kissing me back so fiercely that I could feel my lips swell under his.

My pussy is screaming at me for some kind of release and I can't wait any longer; I need some fucking friction and fast. With my pussy in complete control of my actions, I rip one of Edward's hands from my hair, ignoring the stinging on my scalp, and in one bold move I shove his hand in between my thighs where I need him the most.

"Fuck, you're so fucking wet, Bella. I love your pussy, it's always so fucking wet and ready for me." Edward growls against my lips after his long fingers make contact with my slit.

My eyes roll back as I moan his name, which only spurs Edward on even more. Before I know what is happening, he already has me backed against the wall and is on his knees in front of me-my leg hitched over the top of his shoulder. I don't even have time to miss his fingers as they are immediately replaced by his tongue, teeth and lips—devouring me completely.

I feel possessed with pleasure and I can't control my screams, moans and my pleas for him to never stop what he is doing to me. I feel the tightening in the pit of my stomach as it grows to an unbearable level. I thrust my fingers into his silky, fuck-hot hair and with no shame I ground my pussy into his face with as much force as I can muster.

"Fuck…Edward, I'm about to…Oh God…Ungh…Come!" I cry out as everything around me explodes into such an intense pleasure that I wanted to pull my fucking hair out.

Edward places a kiss over my sensitive clit as the end of my orgasm rocks through me, causing my body to shudder and my knees to go weak.

After I recover from one of the most incredible orgasms that I have ever had in my entire life, Edward refuses profusely to let me reciprocate. He states that tonight is all about me and that he got an immense amount of pleasure from taking care of my needs. Following that romantic shit, he then proceeds to wash my entire body, including my hair.

Fully clean and extremely relaxed, I slip on one of Edward's t-shirts, while he pulls on a pair of boxers. We cuddle up on his bed, in a mess of tangled limbs. I can distinctly feel one of Edward's hands cradling my abdomen where I could only assume our baby is residing. I let out a contented sigh, finally letting go of the fear that has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. It feels fucking great to be content for once in my life, everything is right with the world and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, _in his arms_.

**A/N**

**(PLEASE READ)**

Thank you for reading and I really hoped you liked it, I worked really hard on this shit, trying to adjust to writing again after so long and picking up where the last chapter left off, it took me close to two weeks to get it to feel right and I can usually knock a chapter out in a couple days, so this was a real challenge for me.

On another note, I'm not trying to be a review whore or anything, but yesterday September 8th, was my Birthday, I just turned 25 and I was wondering if maybe you could show me a little extra love for my Birthday if you liked this chapter... Please, pretty please with a tornado tongue Edward on top! Okay never mind, who am I kidding I'm totally a review whore and I'm dam proud of it... My grandpa always told me the squeaky wheel gets the grease, I know you hear me squeaking over here, so come on baby and grease me up good. **  
**


	14. Karma Is A Dirty Whore

**A/N**

**(Please Read!)**

Okay, so I'm sure many of you have noticed that I haven't updated in forever and a day. For that I'm extremely sorry. Real life is a stone cold bitch and is never without drama and it's been a hard task for me to work through mine. I really don't want to abandon this story, it is my first and only one. So if you all want me to continue, please show me your support; otherwise this may just become one of those many stories that never gets to see it's end. I hope you enjoy this chapter and if I get a good response to it I'll continue. All I ask is if you like it, please take the time to give me a review. Thanks, MamaMel.

**A Beautiful Disaster**

Chapter 14: Karma Is A Dirty Whore

**Bella's (POV)**

I woke up feeling more rested than I have in a while. I suppose if I was being honest it really wasn't that long ago, only a week and a half, since I was in this exact too-fucking-comfortable bed next to this too-fucking-fine-for-words man. It really is sad that I can't get a proper night's sleep without being this close to him. I think I'm becoming way too dependant on Edward, but I'm not going to waste my time and trip out on shit like that. Isn't this how it's supposed to be when you're in love with someone? I'm just guessing, because I sure as fuck wouldn't know.

Edward is spooning me from behind while keeping a protective grip around my waist. I look over my shoulder to see that he's still passed out, looking magnificent as usual with his sexy bed head and serene face. It makes me love him even more when I see him so content, and just knowing that it's probably due to me, makes my day. No, fuck that, more like makes my month.

I start to feel generous and want to do something for him, most likely due to my good mood. As carefully as possible, I turn around in his death grip of an embrace. I try my hardest not to wake him since I want this to be a surprise; I can't wait to see the look on his face when he wakes up to this-it's going to be fucking epic.

Fuck. I can't believe I'm about to admit this, but I have actually missed this asshole snoring in my ear all night long. I make a mental note never to let Edward find out about that, he would have a fucking field day. I'd never be able to live that down, especially with how many times I've complained about that shit in the past.

I quickly reel myself back in when I realize that for the millionth time I've let my thoughts get away from me; it's not my fault that everything about this motherfucker is so damn distracting. Now that I have managed to get back on track, I nudge Edward gently to get him to turn onto his back. I succeed in my task to not wake him because he's still snoring and out cold. Surprisingly enough, luck must be with me today.

I climb under the covers and shift onto my knees while hovering over him, taking extra care to not jostle the bed. I listen for a moment and make sure he's still snoring. I mentally give myself a pat on the back for being so smooth, for once. It's dark as fuck under here, but I know exactly where I'm going without having to feel around. I go straight to the waistband of his boxers, slowly pulling them down far enough to get the access that I'm going to need. Jesus fuck. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I even allow him to put these god damn things on before we went to bed?

I take Edward's semi-hard cock into my hands while thinking to myself that I've never seen his dick completely flaccid, causing an involuntary giggle to slip out. Shit. I internally chastise myself for not being more focused on the task at hand. Seriously though, that's just so fucking Edward. As if he isn't already every woman's wet dream, but add to his already way-too-long list of traits that the fucker never goes limp is just unreal; the craziest part of it all is he's mine, all-fucking-mine.

Thankfully, my small giggle fit went unnoticed and I didn't wake him up. I know it may sound kind of stupid, but the first thing I want him to feel when he wakes up is my mouth wrapped around his cock, showing him how much I love him. I've never woke him up like this before and I know how much he's always wanted me to, but I don't exactly like sucking dick.

To be completely honest, what I really didn't like was knowing that he put his dick inside a fuck-ton of dirty, loose vaginas and then to have that same dick in my mouth, was really fucking disgusting. It is sort of hypocritical of me, however, considering I never turned down a chance to have him buried balls-deep inside of my pussy on many occasions. There was just something so wrong with the notion in my head that by blowing him, I had one of Edward's skanky bitch's pussy in my mouth.

So, now that it's just Edward and I, I fully intend to wake him up with the best blow job that he has ever had in his life. I know it's probably a big stretch considering how many he has most likely had, but I'm determined to at least try my best.

The anticipation I have for his reaction peaks and not being able to wait any longer, I eagerly dive in, covering his length with my warm mouth. Edward reacts immediately and I'm not disappointed in the least as his hands quickly but gently tangle into my hair, his cock growing impossibly hard inside the depths of my mouth.

"Fuck, Baby. That feels so damn good. God, I love you so much, Bella..." Edward croaks out, his voice thick with sleep and emotion.

My heart swells at his declaration, I'm still not really used to Edward verbalizing his love for me. It sends me into overdrive and I put everything I have into working his shaft, showing him how much I appreciate the love he has for me.

I start to really get into it, spurred on by Edward's continuous moans, grunts and growls of approval. I glide up and down his magnificent cock with ease as I integrate my hands into the mix, one working the fuck out of his nuts while the other is running up and down the length of his long shaft in sync with the motions of my mouth.

When I swirl the tip of his dick with my tongue, some pre-come releases into my mouth. It tastes fucking nasty, but I suck it up-literally and metaphorically. I can do this for him, I hope. I've never had vast amounts of jizz in mouth before, let alone having to swallow the vile shit, but I'll be strong and give him this without complaining or stopping. This will be the first real blow job I will have ever given him or anyone for that matter. I've given him head before, but once I get my first little taste of that salty and disgusting shit, I abort mission as if my life depended on it and finish him off by other means. It's selfish of me I know, considering how often he gets me off with my legs locked around his neck while his face is buried deep into my pussy.

I put those thoughts out of my mind, concentrating only on the pleasure I'm bringing him. I work his shit harder and faster than I have ever done before. Every few passes I make along his dick I lightly run my teeth up the length of him and that seems to really set him off, causing Edward grip and pull at my hair almost painfully. The sting of it turns me on and I feel my pussy juices start to drip down the inside of my thigh as it throbs painfully from being neglected.

"Oh my fuck! Shit. Ungh. Work that dick, Baby. That's right, just like that. You need to know this shit is yours, all yours-forever and always. Nobody can ever have this big dick but you, Love." Edward growls with authority through his moans while thrusting his hips into my face.

The way he says that shit does things to me and I almost come without any contact being made to my now soaking wet center. I can't fucking take it anymore and I remove the hand I have been using to work his cock and run it down my midsection before slipping it beneath the waistband of the pair of Edward's boxers that I'm wearing. Again, why the fuck did I allow us to put any kind of clothing on before we went to sleep, I'm a fucking idiot-I promise myself it will never happen again.

When I reach my intended destination, I run my middle finger up my slit, and stop when I get to my wet and swollen clit. I rub hard circles around it, causing me to release a whorish moan around Edward's dick. He reacts like any man would by gripping my hair even tighter and shouting a constant string of obscenities while thrusting his hard cock down my throat. The unexpected intrusion makes me gag a little. I'm able to control my reaction and thankfully Edward doesn't seem to notice. I do my best to take him in as far as I can without gagging again.

"Holy shit! Are you fucking touching yourself? Fuck me, that's sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen, Bella!" Edward exclaims loudly, sounding breathless and almost in awe of what I'm doing to myself.

I let out another moan loose around his hardness, only this time it's in response to his correct assumptions. My admission sets Edward into a predatory frenzy unlike anything I have ever seen before.

"God damn, Bella! I never knew that you were such a freaky-ass bitch, your mouth feels so fucking good on me. I need you to feel what I'm feeling, this may sound crazy, but my mouth is really fucking jealous of your fingers right now." I don't even get to make another pass down his length before he releases his long pussy-fuckable-fingers out of my hair and literally rips his boxers from my body. I'm momentarily stunned as he grips my hips and swiftly pulls me from my kneeling position beside him and places me on top of his face. He goes straight to work on my center the moment he makes contact with my pussy.

I almost lose my shit immediately when his skilled tongue starts flicking against my clit while two of his fingers work me from the inside. My brain completely shuts down from his sudden actions.

The fact that I'm not prepared for the onslaught of his tongue and the magical things it is now doing to my pussy, almost causes me to bite down on his cock without thinking of the damage it would surely cause. Thankfully, I'm able to come to my senses before causing such a tragedy. I would never be able forgive myself if I bit off Edward's dick and I'm positive he wouldn't be too forgiving himself.

Edward's tongue frantically starts to circle my clit as his fingers pump me into oblivion. By some miracle I'm able to keep myself composed enough to continue where I left off with his cock before he distracted me, though It's hard to keep concentrating on the task at hand with the force of the pleasure that's shooting from my core to every other part of my body. Somehow I'm able to continue to ravage his cock with the same amount of enthusiasm he's showing my lady bits.

A couple minutes pass with us attacking each other with our mouths, tongue, teeth and hands, and I know that I'm not going to last much longer before I'm coming all over Edward's face. I can tell that he's close as well, if the way he is wildly bucking his hips up into my face accompanied by the growls and groans that are being swallowed by my pussy is any indication of his impending orgasm.

Without warning, Edward lightly bites down on my clit while curling his fingers into what I'm assuming is my g-spot, because I'm instantly done for. The power of my orgasm rocks through my body almost violently, causing me to shake and make all kinds of whorish sounds around Edward's length. This immediately triggers Edward to come and although I thought I was well prepared for what is happening, I'm not.

The moment his thick streams of nut start shooting down my throat, my brain starts shouting "evacuate" on repeat. I have no choice but to listen, because there is no way in hell I'm going to be able to swallow this shit. I try to get up and pull away as I release his dick from within the confines of my mouth, but Edward still has a death grip on my hips and his face is still buried in my pussy, how he's able to breathe like that I still have no idea. It's obvious that in the state he's in, he can't sense my panic at the moment and this is a very bad thing.

The taste of his jizz has now completely permeated my mouth and I can't fucking stand it. I try again to swallow, sensing this may be my only option at the moment, in order to get this foul liquid out of my mouth. My attempt fails as my throat refuses to let it pass and I feel the bile start to rise. Next think I know, I'm gagging-well as much as I can with my lips locked and my mouth full of nut.

My gagging is what finally catches Edward's attention, alerting him that everything is most definitely not alright. He releases the grip he has on me instantly, but it's too late. As I swing my leg over his head, so I can crawl off of the bed, my face hovers directly over his and it becomes obvious that I'm not going to be able to hold it anymore. Edward stares at me in horror with wide eyes. He knows exactly what's going to go down, as do I, and all I can think is close your fucking eyes, dumb-ass.

Of course Edward doesn't get my silent warning and before I can do anything about it, the nut that I have been trying so hard to contain in my mouth, spews out all over his face. I'm absolutely fucking horrified at what just happened and by the facial expression Edward is sporting right now, he is as well. The only thing I'm able to be thankful for is that I'm able to hold the vomit at bay. I still want to puke, just not as urgently as before.

Before I'm even able to blink, Edward has nearly thrown me off the bed in his haste to get to the bathroom, all the while screaming "It burns, it fucking burns!". Even though this is a really fucked up situation, I can't help myself and start laughing my ass off. I know exactly how it feels as not more than two weeks ago I was in that same exact situation. Yeah...Karma is a dirty-whore, Edward and not the good kind that will jack you off in a dark ally for ten bucks.

**A/N**

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, I really put my all into it. Please review.


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